Women ruin my gym class. (758 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.1 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by derek coburn <blindchunk.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-01-16 21:11:14 EST
Gym class. A time I use to cherrish. That time has passed now, along with my hopes of ever having a fun game of kick ball. That WAS my favorite game to play, but now it is mear shit. Why might you ask? Well the answer to that my friend is women.
Now don't get me wrong. I love women, hell I'd fuck more than half of them. But does that give them the right to ruin my gym class? I think not. It all started on the first day of gym, where to start off the year, we had a game of kick ball. Me and my friend were chosen for opposite teams. Of course that meant I had to kick his ass by all means within my power.
Well the game was going well...that is until the first ball was kicked. The ball was sent deep into left, where a girl (possibly midly retarded), stood EXACTLY where the ball was to land. It was my friend who kicked it, so a smile began to creep across my face. I was happy that the first out was gunna be caused by him. My smile quickly turned to a face of utter disgust, as the girl put her hands up, and the ball hit off her chest (which was nothing might I add). Then ball then hit the floor, and continued to roll forward.
Now if this wasn't enough for me to start having suicidal thoughts, SHE CONTINUED TO RUN AFTER IT, BUT SOMEHOW COULD NOT PICK UP THE FUCKING BALL. So needless to say, my friend got a homerun. The inning continued with many balls missed by women. Now maybe catching a ball is harder than I thought, but WOW, not one out was made by a girl, not one...the entire game...
The game of kick ball was forever ruined for me. It was no longer a match of skill, it was "whoever had the most girls on the team looses" game. Not one girl in the entire class caught a ball that day, AND ONLY ONE MADE AN OUT. That was pure luck of course, for the ball hit off her stupid self and hit a runner.
So as we entered the last inning, I was ready to kill someone. It was pointless for me to try to catch the ball, for the other team just kicked it to where the girls were...those bastards. Just as I was about to call nuclear war on women...something happened that will stay with me forever. A ball was sent high into the air, and a kid got under it and caught it (a guy obviously). The girl on third (being the dumbass she is) didnt understand what "tagging up" meant, so she ran home. The guy threw the ball to third as hard as he could...but it never made it there. Instead it fluttered a little to the right, and rammed itself into the side of a girls head. She went down like a whore on a 10 inch cock. Even better, she started to cry.
It was sometime in between the girls cries of pain, and my cries of pure laughter, that I realized why God created women. To get me off, make me dinner, clean my clothing/house, and to make me laugh when they suck at sports.
User Reviews
Submitted by dpbcold (user info) at 2004-01-18 19:26:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dude that was awesome. and the bitch gettin hit in the head is a kodak moment right there.
Submitted by RandytheHelpfulPineapple (user info) at 2004-01-17 12:36:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't like PE because no one tries and I end up looking like a "Boyscout", "Hardcore" or some sort of "PE Hero". This goes for men and women, neither try in my class. I just shrug it off because I really could give a rats ass if someone thinks I'm trying too hard. But in your case, I have some better ideas!
If they can't play your sport well, then maybe you should play some of their sports without looking like an ass. How about some rhythmic dance? or Cheerleading?
If you're really that worried about their horrendous play, then try teaching them. We'll see how far that goes... you won't get laid until ... well ... ever.
Before the next match, cut off you penis and try to play as well as you did before. If you don't, it's probably due to the blood loss and shock your body is in. At least you'll have something cool to put on the mantle in a jar.
Goto their house and sprinkle magic sports fairy dust on them at night. When you try to explain to the Dad with a baseball bat that you were making their daughter "not suck at sports", then we'll see how many blows to your pre-pubescent head it takes to make it into a busted brain pinata.
One final word of advice: You suck, you really do, and not at kickball, but life.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-01-17 10:27:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Just doing my part and informing you that you suck.
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-01-17 10:07:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, but it's early and I got far enough for you to mention kickball twice and thought, is this kid 12? And couldn't read anymore.
Submitted by Rondo_Mondo (user info) at 2004-01-17 00:55:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Here you go, kid. You have potential to be a good poster, you just have to pick a more mature subject matter, next time.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-01-17 00:44:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Dude, you go to gym class. Who the hell is going to have sex with you?
Submitted by fr33d0mrulz (user info) at 2004-01-17 00:14:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Think about it. Why do we have women's basketball and women's soccer?
For the hell of it? Damn, kickball isn't even that much of a real popular sport.
You mst be in junior high or somewhere under there.
FR33D0MRULZ
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Submitted by fell-8-me (user info) at 2004-01-16 23:13:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-16 21:39:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
Save this post. Read it again when you're 30. Hopefully you can look back at it and see how far you've come.
Or maybe you'll just say, "Man, that same shit happened LAST week when we were playing dodge-ball! Things sure haven't changed!"
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corn_nugget is very wise... and I can't think of my own shit to say...
Submitted by neomage (user info) at 2004-01-16 23:12:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
MILK MILK LEMONADE, round the corner FUDGE IS MADE!!!
There has to be another meaning for this... but I'm just too tired to figure it out.
Ever notice how the average rating for a post is inversly proportional to the user ID of the poster?
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-01-16 23:02:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
my ass is sweating.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2004-01-16 22:38:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Are you in elementary school or something ya wee lil munchkin?
At most maybe 7th or 8th grade
oh always always remember... MILK MILK LEMONADE, round the corner FUDGE IS MADE!!!
-Turtle
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-01-16 22:25:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You will go far, young man. Yessiree... all the way to hell.
Submitted by MadJesterVince (user info) at 2004-01-16 22:21:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
make sure you have your cootie shots bro
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2004-01-16 21:50:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think your outlook is pretty jaded...maybe you're just playing sports with the wrong girls. I play rugby, and there are some pretty kick ass girls on our team.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-01-16 21:43:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have to say, it really does suck ass when you get a bunch of girls on your team (intramural softball in my case) because they usually can't hit for shit, and usually don't know the rules. But you still suck, so 0.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-01-16 21:42:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Stupid. Just stupid.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-16 21:39:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Save this post. Read it again when you're 30. Hopefully you can look back at it and see how far you've come.
Or maybe you'll just say, "Man, that same shit happened LAST week when we were playing dodge-ball! Things sure haven't changed!"
Submitted by Commoner (user info) at 2004-01-16 21:34:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not funny, interesting or well written. How old are you?
Submitted by Mister_Fahrenheit (user info) at 2004-01-16 21:24:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2004-01-16 21:21:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
dumb.