My First Spring Break (845 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1 on 3 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by fuckoff.at.hotmail.com (View user info) at 2004-01-17 20:15:54 EST
To Tennessee for Spring Break, that's right, no beaches, no bikini clad girls, no party till you puke then party some more clubs, none of that. We're going to the mountains, The Great Smokey Mountains. Cape Cove to be exact, nice little camping location located not to far from the city of Gatlinburg (sp).
The Plan
My friend Brad and myself were to drive down first, set everything up then wait a few days for our girlfriends to come down. One week of camping supplies, tent, food, sleeping bags, air mattresses, fire wood all of it shoved into my cavalier. Two hours of rearranging and shoving we finally got everything in with two seats still open for us to sit in on the upcoming nine-hour drive. Sure it wasn't going to be the most comfortable drive, but we could tough it, we were rugged woodsmen this week anyway, with our air mattresses and propane-cooking stove.
The Drive
7 am, still half asleep but the car doesn't drive itself, backing out the driveway, receiving the last scolding from Brads' mom, "if it gets to cold down there you better check into a hotel."
Still in our rebellious youthful days we make a pak not to wimp out no matter how cold it gets. With that said Brad falls back asleep and I enter into the driving trance. About 4 hours extinguish before the silence is broken by Brad reaching into the back to bring forth his original piece of work.
SHOW US YOUR BOOBS
That's what the sign read. His original piece of art did us wonders as we passed carload after carload of grannys and grandpas. Just the first of many mind-bending ideals Brad would come up with and I would agree to.
Three hours left of the drive and the 90mph pace is suddenly interrupted.
"Hey, pull off over here."
"Why?"
"We're going to take the scenic route. It'll be more fun dude."
"Alright, but you better not get us fucking lost."
Now driving 30mph we twist and turn thru the Tennessee rural land. Honking the horn as we drive pass the cow pastures in hopes for some big cow response but hardly receiving the annoyed cow glance.
"Hey bitch, where'd the scenic stuff?"
"I don't know, it's probably coming up in a minute."
"It better be soon, 'cause I think that's about the ninetieth cow pasture we have driven by."
"Fucking cows are everywhere"
Pass the cow pastures, thru the scenic route and onward towards the mountains and into Cape Cove, our place of residence for the next week.
The Camp
Paid the fee at the honor booth and headed over to the campsite. The tent goes up without a problem, the fire comes to life with little to no effort, everything just seemed to fall into place.
Then the rain started, just a slow drizzle, nothing to worry about, but we decided it would be a good idea to string a tarp over the fire to protect it and us from getting wet.
At about midnight the wind started gushing at 60 mph blowing out what remained of the fire and ripping the tarp from the trees. The rain picked up and pounded the tent with an onslaught of water. The tarp, clinging to one last tree, flopped around like a headless chicken adding to the noise. After what seemed an eternity of the God crazed noise we braved the rain to release what remained of the tarp. Slowly the sound of rain drifted by while sleep came.
Damn it was cold, waking up I swear I could feel my balls constricting tighter and tighter, I was seriously close to freezing my balls off!
"Brad, I'm fucking hungry, lets get the fire going and cook something"
"Sounds good, damn it's cold. FUCK!!"
"What?"
"My fucking sheets are wet!"
"What the hell, did you piss yourself"
"Fuck no! Are your sheets wet?"
"No."
"How the fuck did mine get wet?"
"Dude, I think you pissed yourself"
"Fuck You"
Escaping pass the urine sheets I expose myself to the morning like and......snow. The ground is covered in about three inches of snow. Had to be at the tops of 10 degrees, and we were sleeping in snow.
Well I'm getting tired of typing, so I will just finish with a run down of stupid things we did.
We didn't leave the campsite for three more night, three nights of sleeping in the snow.
We tried to hike up a snow-covered mountain with no guide.
Took showers using the water from a cold water only sink.
Attempted to walk across a waterfall only to slip into the freezing waters of death.
Got drunk at the camp site, but forgot to pick up the beer cans and was visited by the State Park Police the next morning, thankfully no IDs were requested.
Trying to cook hamburger on a propane stove inside a hotel room with no windows. The entire room was full of smoke, so we went to take out the battery out of the smoke detector before it went off, but it feel apart when I opened it up. We eventually put the stove in the shower, turned on the exhaust fan and closed the door.
The worse thing we did all Spring Break, was not going to Florida where the sand was warm and the girls were hot. Amateurs, that's what we were, but live and learn, and that's what we did.
User Reviews
Submitted by Trout (user info) at 2004-01-18 11:16:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Fucking students.
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-01-18 00:39:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
IM GOING TO CANCUN FOR SPRING BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by BRICKHOUSE (user info) at 2004-01-17 20:28:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Should have put more thought into this one