The WoMan (722 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.83 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DrStrangeDhruv <bigdhruv.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-01-18 16:27:25 EST
"Did you heard about the lab's latest discovery? The University's been going mad over it."
"No, what?"
"Well, a team of students, with the help of some medical faculty, discovered that it was possible to take a dead man's brain and implant it into a female body, then cut off certain nervous and endocrine connections so that the feminine hormones have no effect over thinking pattern."
"Sounds cool, I guess. What did they do with that?"
"That's actually the most interesting bit. They undertook a large assessment of male bodies left to science, and after some long and hard decision-making they picked one - an ex-scientist and doctor. It was a brilliant find, really. They took his brain out surgically - via the Reusden method, of course, where they incise the skull and slice the edges of the meninges and strategic durae - and isolated it in a specially-prepared vault of cerebrospinal and preservatory Dabbenstein fluid. Then they took a live woman with similar cranial size (who had volunteered very generously), performed a similar Reusden operation upon her cranium, whereby they removed her brain, subtracted the man's brain from the isolation chamber, and, connecting certain essential nervous tissues which they fused with a mixture of Dabbenstein and barophlite fluid, placed it in the woman's head."
"Sounds spectacular."
"It is, it is. They then revived the woman from a state of total unconsciousness. When she came to, well, you can imagine she was for a while silent, then incoherent, and when she got her tongue back, extremely disconcerted. The fact is, she was now a man. Or rather, the man having the upper hand by being in control of the brain, he was now a woman. After some time he got used to it and was quite marveled by the whole prospect. Imagine the change at having the exact same thought patterns but being in a woman's body! As a matter of fact, the team initially found that having the endocrine systems aborted at strategic places was making it so that blood vessels too were halted, resulting in a erratic deposition of pallor spots. However, by an artificial dissemination of erythrocytic fluid via a pacemaker, this problem was soon cured. When blood plasma and leucocytic levels were found to be subaverage, these too were cured by way of a synthetic regulator. All in all, the experiment was successful to the letter."
"Wow!! When can I meet this man?"
"Meet him? No, I'm afraid you can't. He died three days after the surgery."
"What?? How?"
"He went insane. He had to jerk off."
User Reviews
Submitted by Jericho (user info) at 2004-01-19 04:59:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Crappy joke.
Besides I heard that a woman gets more from 'double clicking the mouse' than a man gets from beating his meat.
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-01-18 21:29:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Did you hear the one about the the guy whos brain they transplanted into a womans body?
He died after three days because he couldn't jerk off!
Yep that still sucks.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-01-18 18:10:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
too long, not even remotely funny, AND your second post today
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-01-18 17:11:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Too long/technical for such a medioker punch line.
Submitted by El_Guapo (user info) at 2004-01-18 16:44:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Twenty of the suckiest minutes of my life.
-- Homer Simpson
Burns, Baby Burns
ok maybe not suckiest........i;m a slow reader though, so it probably was 20 minutes....
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-01-18 16:34:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This sucked - via the Reusden method.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2004-01-18 16:33:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking hilarious dude. This rocks. I actually laughed... then got all of my coworkers to read it. Moo-tastic.
Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2004-01-18 16:31:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -1