The quest to save our eyes (310 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.5 on 2 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <wellwoopidiedoo.at.msn.com> (View user info) at 2004-01-19 16:00:56 EST
Jerrick awoke with a sudden start, his heart racing from the sudden wave of fear running through him. His eyes were aching from he had just seen. He ran in terror, wishing he had not seen what he did. He had seen another shipost. He ran, with the shiposts in pursuit. He had been forced to flee from everything he knew.
He was the only living heir of his family. His ancestors were once the kings and queens of ubersite. Jerrick knew that he was in danger, as he had heard the tale of what would happen to any heir to the throne. The shiposts were trying and capture him, torture him with their rants of psychobabble, their worthless pictures of nothing, and their pointless opinions on everything. They would force him to read everything they ever thought of, whether it was whether or not to think, or if it was just to say "u r stupit for reeding dis." They knew who he was.
Nevertheless, Jerrick was in danger, and he knew what he must do. He must find their schizophrenic leader, the master of all of nothing: KoolMang. KoolMang was a treacherous hermaphrodite, hell bent on convincing the world he had an evil counterpart terrorizing the delicate eyes of the readers. Only few knew the truth, however.
Jerrick set off on his quest, armed with nothing but a -2. He must think of a way to put it to use. He raced forward, as fast as he could to the castle of filth. Upon reaching it, he almost wanted to cry, as his eyes were plagued with non-words. He looked upon the walls, and found a ticker running across the turret saying, "Jerrick, WTF LOLZZ!!!11 EYE NU U WERE CUMN 2 C ME!!111!"
His fears were renewed. He summoned up every ounce of will power he had in him, trying to push onward. He broke through the gate of incompetence, free of the blinding walls. He quietly snuck to the top floor of the castle. He knew exactly where it was he must go. There was a fresh track of shit leading up the stairs. These could only be the tracks of one person.
At last, he had reached the top of the staircase, his nose running, stomach rolling, and his mouth heaving. The smell had overcome him. He covered his face with his shirt (http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1069699624740514521) and charged into the room. KoolMang instantly stood up, aware he was in trouble. But Jerrick was too quick.
In a mad dash, Jerrick drew the -2, and thrust it into the heart of KoolMang. Then yelling "Eat shit and die." He then forced Mang to stand up, and dragged him to his own computer. He pulled up random posts of good, "If I cum now...," and "Badass Australian cows." His body then slumped over, dead.
And the world of Uber rejoiced, for the shiposts were gone, and all could live in peace once more.
Kind of gay but oh well. Bored at work.
User Reviews
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2004-01-19 17:38:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't bloody believe it, you take a post written in the last half hour or so, shamelessly rip it off, and then manage to make it so unbelieveably worse that I'd rather slide down a razor blade using my balls as brakes than read it again. This takes the term 'fuckwit' to a whole new level.
E.S.A.D
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-01-19 17:24:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
"Kind of gay but oh well." - Hmm. I thought that too.