Wild nights, distinguished days. (374 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.71 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jonas Kinsburg (View user info) at 2004-01-19 21:18:43 EST
The smell of sex pervades the room. You can't escape it, you can't deny it.
Anal anal butt sex.
Poo stink.
And it's on your penis.
Some fat chick is laying on the couch across the room. What the hell did you do last night? The last thing you remember is a shot of vodka in your hand and one of your friends ranting about bear claws and not being able to kill some stupid bunny. You know this is his fault somehow. Always starting shit, that guy. Can't keep his damn mouth shut. Probably corraled a bunch of fat chicks last night. Whatever.
Uh-oh, she's waking up. Moving around like a beached whale on the Discovery Channel, blubber rippling pathetically as she tries to heave herself off the couch. She lands on the floor with a thud, and she opens her eyes. Bad eyeliner and mascara dominate her face. She grins at you. Missing teeth, those that are there are stained brown from too much coffee. No amount of semen could ever make that smile white.
So you kick her in the face and then jab a broken bottle into her temple. You just had unprotected anal sex with a fat hooker. Why not kill her, too? After all, nobody's gonna miss a hooker. If she's still there when you wake up, she probably doesn't have a pimp. He'd have made her get off her fat ass to do another job. Besides, killing is what you do. You can't even imagine how many people you've killed. So you put your clothes on, and you leave your room. You go to work. Your secretary is the first to greet you...
"Hello, Mr. President, how was your evening?"
Oops.
User Reviews
Submitted by GRiM_PeePeR (user info) at 2004-01-20 04:28:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love that movie. "Swingers".
YOU'RE LIKE A GIANT BEAR- AND SHE'S THIS LITTLE INNOCENT BUNNY AND YOU HAVE THESE HUGE FUCKING CLAWS MAN. BUT YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE EM, YOU GOTTA RIP INTO THE BUNNY MAN TEAR IT APART, MAN!
YOU GOT THESE HUGE FUCKING CLAWS AND THESE HUGE FUCKING TEETH, BUT YOU DONT WANT TO HURT THE BUNNY...
Best confusion prize, ever.
Submitted by Flacco (user info) at 2004-01-19 23:55:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
good god, the descriptions made me feel as if I was THERE...
and slightly aroused. presidency and all.
-1 for f*cking a fat hooker though.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-01-19 22:38:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahaha
good times....
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-01-19 22:15:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't know what to say.
Other than, negative fucking 2.
Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2004-01-19 21:27:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ummm
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-01-19 21:22:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I didn't like the oops at the end. The rest... interesting. Very very interesting.
Submitted by Magno (user info) at 2004-01-19 21:20:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Like it says, made me smile.
Really though, you could do better.