Gettin jumped by blacks guys in a minivan (752 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.28 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Cass Harper <AllThat'sLeft56.at.yahoo.co.uk> (View user info) at 2004-01-19 23:08:02 EST
Now I've seen everything, and by that, I mean jumped by some random black guys driving their moms minivan.
I shit you not... Without further adieu (is that how you spell it?)... my story
So, one night me and my friend Mark decided to get drunk, and when I say drunk, what I mean is... drunkkkkk. Anyways, back to the story. So me and mark are pretty drunk, and when we got drunk, we got restless. I don't remember much after that till about an hour or 2 later when we start to sober up... 2 miles from my appartment in the parking lot of a Mormon church and me holding some sort of metal stick (I must have started sobering up). It would only take a chimp to realize what we did next, you guessed it, we started busting lights and windows, basically, whatever we could get our hands (or sticks in this case) on.
Blah Blah Blah, fast forward an hour or two. We go back to my appt to get our skateboards, because who doesn't want to skateboard drunk (I can happily say that I no longer skateboard). So we're skateboarding down a hill going pretty fast, and I try to jump from my skateboard to Mark's. This winds up in me lying in a pool of my own blood, after freaking out, I realize that it was only a false alarm because it was just my leg bleeding profusely (hey, we were drunk, and like they say, drinking impairs your judgement).
We're walking around and we come upon the house where our friend Roland and his brother Marshall live. After banging on all the windows, they finally emerge. I'm sitting on the curb nursing my wound and my broken skate board while mark, roland, and marshall are all skateboarding. The next thing that happened is what happens to everyone, a minivan pulls up. At this point we're thinking we're screwed because it's probably undercover cops, but when a black guy emerges, we're relieved. When another black guy emerges, we get nervous. And when a REALLY big black guy gets out, we get scared as hell (and I thought only mexicans packed into cars). So these black guys start talking trash, and seeing how I'm still a tad bit drunk (impaired judgement, remember?) I start talking trash back. The sober guys think they can handle it, and they get me piped down, but not before they all here me say "What kind of gangsters drive around in their moms minivan" (big mistake). So I really got this black guy going. After some persuading, they get them all settled down, and when I think the big guy is trying to give me some form of handshake to make ammends... BAM, he knocks the crap out of me (with a help from 3 or 4 rings).
After that I don't remember much until the hospital where I was getting stitches, but apparently marshall pulled a knife, and these guys didn't want trouble, just to pick on some innocent white people.
The moral of this story? If you're white, it's not safe.
Which brings me to my final question... why did those guys every stop in the first place?
User Reviews
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-02-09 18:57:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for the story.
-1 for promoting a negative racial stereotype.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-01-20 15:49:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Redneck piece of shit. Go give yourself alcohol poisening and die.
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2004-01-20 15:38:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Gee I dunno, maybe when you were walking around SMASHING SHIT, some black family happened to be in their own house watching you destroy something that was theirs? Call me crazy but......
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2004-01-20 01:30:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i thought this was fuckin hallarious...
THE BEST LINE IS:
The moral of this story? If you're white, it's not safe.
hahahaha.. that's fuckin funny
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2004-01-20 01:17:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It's amazing how close you came to being interesting, without actually getting there. Don't let us slow your search for someone who cares.
Submitted by CDizzle (user info) at 2004-01-19 23:54:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA, that guy just said that the minivan is the new gang vehicle of choice... that's the greatest.
Submitted by Rage at 2004-01-19 23:51:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Something similar happened to me, i was driving in my car when i stopped at a red light and noticed a minivan standing at the light next to me. This was at night and in my strain of thought i looked over at the side window of the van (which was tinted). The guy in the front passenger seat looks back at me and asks "Y are u looking at him?" and i said looking at who?, the side door of minivan opens to reveal three (what looked to me like pakistani guys). I said i wasn't staring at him but at the car (as if i could really see through his tinted windows at night). The guy said ok and turned back around (As if they woulda got an inch out their door before i slam the gas). From what i could see there were at least 5 of them which leads me to believe the minivan is the new gang vehicle of choice.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-01-19 23:36:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"ado" is spelled "a", "d", "o".
Three fucking letters, tard.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-01-19 23:33:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
4116.
i never would have known.
Quiz:
this story was:
a) funny
b) morally enlightening
c) fun to read
d) well written
e) none of the above