Uberia: Chapter V Further down the spiral (753 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.66 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Uber Scratch <lordofthepost.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-01-20 00:20:07 EST
Chapter Guide
Chapter I (sorry for the paragraphs, or lack thereof)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23306
Chapter II: Loki's Descent
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23314
Chapter III: The Post Wars
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23319
Chapter IV: The Discovery
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23357
Comment and you could live the story
Uberia
Chapter V: Further down the spiral
Lord Bart led his knights along the interconnecting maze of sewage tunnels. He was lucky that he knew his lands from the inside out, every nook and cranny. Even his followers started to show signs of doubt with the occasional "Are we sure we know where we are going?" or "Where are we". Bart ignored them. He knew exactly where they were, and they were close to an exit. He didn't bring up that the footsteps they had been hearing were getting louder and it sounded like a lot more than their last encounter. "Come on people, let's keep moving" he said as they huffed and puffed down the hallways.
The man dressed all in black stroked his long stringy black hair as he stood in bewilderment of the mighty mass before him. He was a long, skinny man. He was textbook deceitful and every bit evil-looking. He was McBaine, Lord of the Post-Killers. Years ago he led an unsuccessful revolt on Ubersite, and failed. However, it was not a total failure, because although he was banned, it was the first time that the post-killers were united with one common goal, the destruction of Uberia. He stood on a cliff in sheer amazement as he looked out towards the castle of Ubersite. It was his at last. From here, he would lead his army to finish Uberia once and for all. It did not come without pain and patience. He was, after all, banned at one time from Lord Bart himself. He remained for years in the land of 404. He wandered aimlessly and constantly looking for a way out. No one could escape, but he somehow found a way to achieve the impossible. He shared this with no one, but earned a mountain of respect from becoming the first to ever escape the powerful ban.
He came back to his army and shouted "Ubersite is ours, next we take Uberia!" The crowd of thousands cheered and chanted as they jumped up and down with overwhelming excitement. The majority of his army were young, fresh, and as green as they come. There was one thing they could accomplish and accomplish well, bad posts by the masses. He walked down and to the left where the path to Ubersite was paved. He was about a half days march away, a half day away from his first entry to Ubersite as the King.
Koolmang could hear McBain's army chanting, since they were practically in a canyon surrounded by mountains, the cheers echoed off of the walls of rock and bounced towards the castle. This presented the castle with a unique defense opportunity, since the clanking of armor, the casual conversation of men, and the war chanting could be heard from a much greater distance than normal. He stood in the tower awaiting his soldiers to return. Eventually, they came up the stairs, dragging a man dressed in light leather mail armor, his hands and feed bound, and his mouth gagged.
"So nice of you to join us, Daking".
The soldiers removed his gag so he could speak, "Shove it Koolmang, you and your pathetic worthless posts, die"
"It's not me, that is going to die today Daking"
"Find somebody who isn't bound to take you out to the town hall and flog you, for being such a waste" mumbled the bound and beaten man."
"You always were a proud one, Daking, you always were....outspoken"
"You know my answer to that Koolmang, go out somewhere and get killed"
"Daking, I have a new gag for you." His hands meticulously started spinning a post, dark yellow in color.
"No, Koolmang, even you could not be so heartless"
"Yes Daking, you're time has come" He began to move towards Daking, the guards who accompanied the prisoner walked right outside, closing the door behind them. Daking quivered as he ultimately knew his fate. "I have a special post for you" pronounced Koolmang, "Have I ever told you about *how I got my Name*?"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The scream echoed throughout the valley, even McBain heard it, and he knew it was Koolmang's doing. The thought that it could have been the former king brought a half smile to his face.
Chills ran down one of the soldier's spine as he guarded the door to the tower where Koolmang resided, his eerie feeling was abruptly disturbed by a loud knocking on the door.
"Who goes there" the guard proclaimed as a safety measure
"Daking"
"Daking? Daking who?" They were at loss for words, how could he have gotten...
"DakingisDead"
Koolmang burst through the door, wiping the blood from his chin and arms. He said nothing to the guards who were still in astonishment, as he walked further down the spiral staircase.
After he had left, one of the guards whispered to the other, "He's lost his mind".
"What was that?" Ed Dee's head darted towards the blood curtailing scream he had just heard. "It's the sound of a man being tortured to death with a post" Said Reallybored. The adventurers moved, following the lead of Loki as they moved upstream alongside the river. They were headed towards the Ocean, and if they kept their pace, they would be there in two days. They were exposed, but had no choice. They had nowhere to run if they were ambushed; the walls on both sides of them from the ravine they fell in were far too high to climb, so if they were trapped they would have to fight for their lives.
"So where are you from Darthawesome?" Asked Reallybored
"Here and there", he proclaimed, "I generally keep to myself, I am a student of the post but I do not bind myself by the strict rules of Uberia"
"You can call the post elsewhere?" Asked Mac
"Of course you can, you can call post almost anywhere, but Uberia is a place where many post masters come about, hence the strict rules, which makes this land a pretty unique place."
Loki interrupted, "Let's stop here and camp for a bit, I want to try to contact Lord Bart by using IRC". IRC, lifeblood of communication between posters, is a way to communicate via the minds of people in Cyber. It's a power that many can use in short distances, but to communicate to anyone out of sight, takes a master. Loki immediately, in her tired state, floated to the ground in an Indian stance, and began to fall into a trance.
"Looks like we'll be here awhile, let's unpack" Said Ed Dee
"And Eat" Added Mac.
"Wait! Stop!" Lord Bart said as he quickly fell into an Indian stance. He immediately went into a trance. "I'm picking up an IRC from Loki, she's ok". Sighs of relief came from throughout the halls; they were after all, her comrades. "She needs help, we have to get to her, and I know where she is" His eyes popped open, and he scanned the room as if plotting his next move.
"She is with friends, but in need of a healer. Lisacat, take LaNa and Hidden with you, take this corridor to the left, take it all the way outside. It will take you to the outer rim of Uberia, you will be about a half day ahead of Loki, wait for her there. Protect LaNa at all costs. It was difficult understanding her in her weakened condition, but she mentioned a disturbance in hotmail, we need to move out, let's go!"
They immediately moved towards the corrider to follow their King's wishes when Jonukah grabbed Lisacat. "Wait" He said, "Take this". His fingers carefully crafted a beautiful white post; it slowly began to get bigger and bigger, until it was the size of a closed fist.
"Jonukah, no. This is your *Orgasm Face* post, this is your best post. I can't accept this."
"Take it, really, I have plenty more, use it when you need it the most, it's all I can give you" His hand passed over her open palm and with a flash, the post flickered and then transferred to her hand, and then disappeared into her hand with a warm glow. She leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you and Uberspeed". Lisacat turned to find Hidden and Lisa locked in a binding kiss of forever love. "C'mon Hidden, save it for later, we've got to move out"
"Dammit"
The three moved off to the corridor, lightly treading their feet across the filth as they ran off into the darkness to find and help Loki.
"Do you think they will make it to Loki? "Said Lisa, as she wiped her mouth from the sweet juices of Hidden's lips.
"We can only hope so, child, we can only hope so..."
To be continued ...
uberiamovieposter.psd (583 kB) [application/octet-stream]
User Reviews
Submitted by Dlove (user info) at 2004-01-27 10:57:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Miggetymizac, you're just pissed because you don't have the intelligence to write a complete sentence, much less a kick ass story.
Go fuck yourself.
This story is awesome.
Submitted by Miggetymizac (user info) at 2004-01-26 19:50:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
awww poor baby lost your perfect rating
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-01-23 21:53:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Audjgirl - There is still plenty of room in Uberia for you!
Submitted by audjgirl (user info) at 2004-01-21 10:40:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this awesome...i wish i was in it :(
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-01-21 10:29:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the land of 404
AHAHAHA
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-01-20 11:49:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
on par with excellence.
Submitted by Mac (user info) at 2004-01-20 11:46:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome again!
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-01-20 11:39:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ugh, I missed this one before. Kick-ass as per the norm.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2004-01-20 11:36:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gross. I hate hidden101.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-01-20 11:15:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantastic
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-01-20 01:42:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, all caught up. Good stuff. I hope there's more ass kicking in the near future.
Submitted by MadJesterVince (user info) at 2004-01-20 01:03:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
excellent, loved the koolmang gag, I somehow knew it was coming. Come on man, you gotta make T-shirts!
Beware my Banana Cream pies
-MadJester
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-01-20 00:56:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-01-20 00:35:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, got carried away and attached the photoshop version of the movie poster, of course, everybody here has photoshop right ;)
I attached the jpeg here, I'm happy with it, who wants a t-shirt? kidding...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23462