Uberia: Chapter VI A Taste of Fury (795 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.77 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Uber Scratch <lordofthepost.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-01-20 02:20:56 EST
Uberia Cover
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23462
Chapter I (sorry for the paragraphs, or lack thereof)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23306
Chapter II: Loki's Descent
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23314
Chapter III: The Post Wars
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23319
Chapter IV: The Discovery
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23357
Chapter V: Further down the spiral
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23461
Comment and you could live the story
Uberia: Chapter VI A Taste of Fury
McBain held his hand up with a closed fist, signaling his army to stop. His massive battalion stopped with a knife-sharp accuracy. He then raised his hand higher, towards the gate tower, and the newly repaired iron gates rose. He led his army through the gates and into Ubersite. The soldiers quickly dispersed among those who have already found a trade at the castle, and like worker bees, quickly made their way to find a task to complete. The castle was nearly repaired, a fortress stronghold from which McBain would rule all of Uberia. He made his way atop the grand staircase and through the main hall, to the throne room. There, KoolMang stood ready to greet his master.
"Welcome home, my King"
"Very nice work, KoolMang, I almost doubted your ability to sack this castle, you proved me wrong, and I'm glad that you did"
"It was not without loss, but our army is growing according to plan"
"So the machine is working, churning out soldiers each day?"
"Yes, 50-75 Post-killers per day, it's all going so smoothly"
"Those fools in hotmail don't even care what they churn out, it's beautiful"
McBain paused, turning slowly around, taking in every detail. "You did good things to this castle, have you explored it all?"
"No my lord, I saved the best for last" replied Koolmang
"You haven't released him yet?"
"I wanted you to have the honors, let us set him free"
McBain smiled at the thought, as they walked abreast to the east corridor, down along the walls, and descended down a long stairway. They walked into the darkness, each grabbing a torch from the wall, and moved further downward towards the dungeon.
"Our King is sending help" Loki said as she rose from her meditation. We have to move on; they will meet us at the babbling brook. As Darthawesome arose, a small slip of paper fell out of his bag. Reallybored picked it up and before he handed it over he noted the title "Plans to seize power over Uberia".
"What the hell is this?"
Darthawesome looked extremely nervous, "It's not what you think, please..." Before he could get out the rest Mac threw him in a choke hold dropping him to his knees. "Please understand, I used to fight with McBain..." Mac closed his air tunnel even tighter, Reallybored drew his sword and pointed it at his forehead, "WHAT? You planned to kill us didn't you?"
"No, I USED to work for McBain...Didn't trust...him....please....let....me go."
Reallybored signaled to Mac to release him. Reallybored then cut his eyes at a dumbfounded Madjestervince.
"Don't look at me, I had nothing to do with this, I met this clown about a month ago and he didn't have any affiliation with McBain" Reallybored pointed his attention back to DarthAwesome, "Is this true?"
"Yes, I swear it, I had nothing to do with McBain's invasion, I left his side years ago, it's why I can help, I am the only one who knows how he escaped the Ban. Please you have to believe me."
Reallybored turned to Loki, who only looked at him and shrugged, he then looked back at Darthawesome. "I will let you live, but if I even think you are planning something, I'm going to carve your eyes out with Mac's spoon and feed them to you"
Darthawesome nodded in uncomfortable silence.
"This will be mentioned no more, unless you force us to bring it up, now tell me what you know about McBain's escape from the Ban"
As Darthawesome began to speak of McBain, they moved on to meet their Calvary.
"Milord why are we running?" echoed throughout the sewer walls as the King and his knights trudged through the sewer tunnels, dodging large debris and residue along their way. "There are too many of them, and besides, we are close to an exit now, once we get outside, we will have more room to fight"
They ran as fast as they could, post-killers teased them from the darkness only a few feet away. They were closing in and fast. Lord Bart could see the light coming from the end of the tunnel. As he made his way, he started to realize there was going to be trouble.
"This tunnel ends at a fifty foot drop, I just remembered" He said in frustration. They slowed down right towards the end of the tunnel, and watched as the nasty waste poured from the pipe out of the side of a mountain and down into a large pool of water. "What are we going to do, fight or flight? Said Jonukah
"You all are going for a nice flight, I'll stay and fight" Said Big Mike as he pushed from the rear, pushing everyone but himself out of the pipe. They all toppled out of the pipe and fell to the pond below. Razor, the last to go, grabbed the pipe edge as he hung from the thin carved rock frame. "Big Mike no, you'll die, run with us".
"We've been kicked out of our castle, chased while running through shit and Uber knows what else, and it hasn't stopped since they've waged the post wars. I'm tired of this; it's time to post some serious ass. Now go!" Mike gave his speech, and then lightly pushed Razor's fingers over the edge, causing him to fall towards the others. As he fell, he saw four men grab Big Mike and drop him to the ground. As he continued to fall, he saw more men pile on top of him. "Why did he give up?" Razor thought as he plummeted towards the pool below, "Why Big Mike?"
KoolMang waived his torch in front of McBain, "After you milord" he said with a smile. McBain placed his fingertips in a large circular lock, and slowly turned the circle counter-clockwise. The door began to shake as it slowly moved to the side, revealing a dank and dark room in which a frail looking man was chained to the wall.
"Christpunch" Said McBain, "It's time for you to go"
The man had his head locked in a metal cage; his clothes were tattered and torn. From a distance a frail man, when they got closer, a ravenous beast. He leapt at KoolMang, trying with great effort to claw at him. His razor-sharp nails managed to slice a precision cut line across KoolMang's red leather vest, his growl exposed his black sharpened teeth. He was evil incarnate, Chaotic and powerful. He was Christpunch. McBain raised his large broadsword over his head and stated, "I am your master, and you shall obey me. Go, find your former captor, Lord Bart, and kill him and all those who protect him" Within an instant his blade sliced through the chain, freeing him from the wall. He moved right towards McBain, and bowed his head, then ran off in a blinding fury towards the throne, through the soldiers in the main hall, and out the gate.
McBain cracked a mischievous smile as he thought to himself, "No one has ever survived Christpunch, soon I'll be rid of them all".
User Reviews
Submitted by Miggetymizac (user info) at 2004-01-26 19:49:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
awww poor baby lost your perfect rating
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-01-21 10:59:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is great. I think I'm almost caught up now.
Submitted by Mac (user info) at 2004-01-20 13:43:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"This is cool in that really nerdy sort of way"
No shit. I've been sitting here all morning at work, reading each chapter, one after the other. I keep finding myself getting more and more into it. I can see it in my head perfectly. For some odd reason, I think it would be a better cartoon than anything else. I'm a nerd and I need help. But seriously, this is great.
Submitted by drstrangedhruv (user info) at 2004-01-20 12:12:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is cool in that really nerdy sort of way.
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-01-20 12:04:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome milord. I love it!
If only a war like this could be waged for real and the post killers banished forever.
Keep it coming friend!
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-01-20 11:57:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think its awesome that you didn't throw in a ton of characters at peoples request and sacrifice the story.
that said, where am i?
just kidding.
sorta...
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2004-01-20 11:26:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But keep writing please.
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2004-01-20 11:23:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would slaughter ReallyBored.
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-01-20 10:29:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Guys, thanks for the encouragement. Jonuakah, I love the idea, however I want to follow that general philosophy without actually coming out and saying it
If you notice now, The brighter the posts, the better. Size has something to do with it too (Yes size does matter) That's why I always give the correlation (Or try to) as to the size and color of the luminous ball they are about to launch. If you notice, and if I've been consistent (I Hope) post kills and weak posts typically have a yellowish or other discoloration. This taint if it all works out will play a part later.
I'm building a world as I go, now the challenge is working it out geographically. There is a lot of logic I have to leave out for the sake of keeping the story reasonable (Last night was a long one) that way you can enjoy them in bits and pieces.
mmmvag - I'm trying to capture the fact that these people just got beat out of their own castle, the heroes are a bit worried and everything is a bit melodramtic for them, but I could be overdoing it. Good feedback
bargled - I wouldn't leave you out my friend, but I'm spacing between telling a story and just throwing a whole bunch of characters in one chapter just to give shout outs. If it works the way I want it, everyone who participates and take the time to read will be included... and if I happen to leave people out it's not intentional, keep speaking up! You are helping to write this story, and your feedback is not taken lightly when I sit to write the next chapter.
Thanks guys -
LOTP
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-01-20 09:34:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, that chapter kicked some serious ass. When I was reading the piece yesterday I was actually wondering about how (and if) CP made his way into the story the fashion in which he would be represented. I think your idea for him is great.
Kepp up the fantastic work.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-01-20 09:07:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
'Tis a good post you posted here my friend. Now go forth and.... ah skrew it, I'm tired and pissed off tonight. But good job.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2004-01-20 05:02:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You have way too much spare time.
Submitted by jonukah (user info) at 2004-01-20 02:57:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As for my "o" face......I have no idea what the equivalent of that would be.
It seems that you made me the equivalent of a paladin: strong fighter with some white magic.
What could it be?
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-01-20 02:55:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where the fuck am I in this story?
Submitted by jonukah (user info) at 2004-01-20 02:54:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm really enjoying the story, but I think you could hone it a bit by creating a specific model for how things are working in this world of yours.
Make specific relationships between different types of posts and their fantasy equivalents.
For example:
Love post=healing spell
Hate post=powerful black magic against single opponent
Retaliation post=counter magic
-2 review=general attack
It doesn't really matter what specific relationships you make, just as long as they have some sort of logic and you stick to that structure once it is set.
Just trying to make some constructive criticism. When I'm trying to immerse myself in a fantasy world, I like to feel that world with its ins and outs. I don't know if I made any sense, I'm quite sleepy.
Keep it up
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-01-20 02:43:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, it doesn't actually say that I died.....maybe there's still hope.
Good chapter.
Submitted by MmmVag (user info) at 2004-01-20 02:43:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mildly interesting. I give it a 2 cause I read the whole damn thing which is more than I can say i've done for most posts. And ya, good characterization for such a short story. Though... the good guys, the best posters, seemed a little, melodramatic.
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-01-20 02:41:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok guys, sorry for two posts, I'm getting carried away. I honestly deeply hope you guys are having as much fun reading as I am writing
Bart - It's good to hear attaboy's from the king
Loki - You took an asswhooping in the first few chaps, but your time for redemption is near
Reallybored - you just don't know how kickass you really are
Jonukah the strong - You've got the power of the orgasm post, will it be enough?
Big Mike - Why'd you do it man? Why? You could have just jumped... a sad day in Uberia
Lisacat and Hidden - you are getting some action soon
Lisa and Hidden Makeout scene - Had to have it in there since I've seen it posted everywhere
LaNa, Mac, Ed Dee, big parts coming your way
Whew.. oh and...
Maddox is coming...
You guys are great, this is a great site and I've really enjoyed reading your posts thus far.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-01-20 02:38:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MadJesterVince (user info) at 2004-01-20 02:31:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahhh, the plot thickens, btw I love the way you have christpunch characterized, kinda like an animal, or Hannibal Lector