McInspiration - A Veritable Grab Bag of Ideas (690 hits)
Category: GraphicsRating: 1.87 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DrStrangeDhruv <bigdhruv.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-01-20 12:04:04 EST
Welcome to my new weekly feature, where I've decided to give away brilliant ideas and seeds of inspiration to all you slack-jawed jabronnies completely free of charge.
The reason I have decided to include this trickle of the blushful Hippocrene amidst my usual portfolio of entertaining stories, witty screenplays and amusing artworks, is that I realized that there are a slutty cunt's worth of posts on Ubersite completely lacking in substance or any kind of inspiration at all. I've also noticed that several eminent posters such as Iddqd have complained at times of a stemmed influx of ideas and have resorted to not posting at all. That sucks, anyway, so what I did was to sit down for a straight five minutes and think up as many random, potentially usable but not actually used before ideas and throw them together in the following list.
Feel free to use these germs of genius as you wish, but if you do, give me some credit, cocksucker.
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* This is an idea for a picture, a cartoon, an MS Paint drawing, whatever. There's a roll, like a bread roll, and it's dipping a bunch of rolled up people into butter. The caption reads 'Roll Reversal'.
* This one's for a story. There's a woman, and she decides to have 'Handle With Care' sown across the front of a jacket she always wears, with the idea that it will prevent her from having her heart broken by men, because owing to some sort of neuro-linguistic programming they will imbibe the message and 'handle' her heart 'with care'. The twist or whatever is that they end up feeling her boobs up really well, but dumping her just the same.
* This one's for a story called 'Silent But Deadly'. The whole story never mentions what is intended to be 'silent but deadly', leading the reader to believe it is some sort of serial killer or generally dreaded murderer, but in the end it is revealed to be a fart, the silent kind that smells like hell.
* This one's for a borders-on-the-surreal comic strip, possibly the type you can instantaneously whip up in MS Paint. There's a teacher teaching her class. She asks her students what Neil Armstrong's first words on the moon were. The next frame a little boy's got his hand up, and the teacher says something like, "Yes, XYZ." And in the final frame the boy says, "Ba-na-na."
* This one is for the more skillful writers of Ubersite. This convoy of explorers has landed on an alien planet. They go around asking the aliens things about the planet, and they learn about several of the very backward-seeming practices of the populace. The aliens' calendar, for instance, is based completely around the life of a single creature of their species whom they have never met and are not even sure that he existed at all. They are also all superstitious, and their foremost concerns appear to be their appearances, with no room for intellectual curiousity or suchlike. Yet they all believe they are the ruling species of the universe, the best thing to trot round since - well, forever. Ultimately the explorers leave the planet, which is then revealed to be Earth.
* A cartoon, again. There are a bunch of people sitting around in those popular French Connection shirts, i.e. they all read 'FCUK'. This one guy in the middle is wearing one that says, 'SCUK MY DCIK'. Har har.
* Another cartoon. There's a guy lying down with those 'X' eyes denoting death and extreme agony, with blood spouting out of his neck, whilst a large executioner in a black ski mask hacks his head off with a huge, steel battle axe. The caption reads: The Axe Effect.
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Finally, for the sake of democracy and all, please footnote your replies with 'CONTINUE' or 'SHUT THE FUCK UP' to let me know if you think I should go on spewing these ideas week after week, or instead abstain from doing so and leave all of you buck-toothed pond-dwellers to remain in your sties of inconsequential, sterile mediocrity. Ha ha.
Meanwhile, thanks for reading, and I hope to see some worthwhile attempts at actualizing these mini-brainstorms.
User Reviews
Submitted by GreenRiver (user info) at 2004-01-20 17:08:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DrunkMonk (user info) at 2004-01-20 16:25:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Continue:
But the 5-legged elephant makes my head hurt.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2004-01-20 14:24:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
please continue.
Submitted by Forespin (user info) at 2004-01-20 13:25:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Doc, it's peener-drawer dude. When I keep creating different usernames, I'll just call myself peener. This fucker stole my abortionrules1 identity AGAIN! When will he go away...
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-01-20 13:11:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i change my vote to +2.
Submitted by Swik (user info) at 2004-01-20 12:56:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
eh, I was bored after finishing my exam early so I did the Silent but deadly one, I was bored and it isn't very long.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-01-20 12:18:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Please continue... I may just try one of these... the handle with care one sounds good... and surprisingly like me, minus the jacket, and the handle with care part.... and constantly having my heart broken.... ok not so much like me.... tired......
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-01-20 12:14:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
a) 'CONTINUE'
b) 'SHUT THE FUCK UP'
c) 'meh.'
i pick 'c'
not bad, not fantastic... meh.