Unrequited Love (753 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.25 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ciaran <ciaran_flanagan.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-01-22 08:16:52 EST
I was sitting in class rubbing the end of my hard on softly under the desk. The object of my fantasy was the girl sitting 2 rows up and 3 people across to the left. Man, she was stunning. She had long red hair that curled in ringlets all the way down to her perfectly formed ass. Her tits were pert and well rounded, I wanted to suck them. I wanted to have her naked. I wanted to see her with her beautiful red hair covering her breasts. I wanted to bend her over and fuck her up the ass. I wanted to do so much to her. I wanted to marry her. I wanted to live with her and take care of her and protect her from all that is evil in this world. I wanted to protect her from that wanker of a Jock fucker who thinks he is her boyfriend.
Who the fuck does he think he was, bringing her to school with him in his expensive car? NO, she did not love him. It was all fake. Sure, she laughed at his Jokes and outwardly seemed happy when he was around. Ahhh, but I'd observed her at night through her window, I knew she would have been happier with me.
I had come to the conclusion that she was like all the other women in the world. I didn't hate her for it, It seemed to be a inherent disorder in the female species. I gave her loads and loads of opportunities to ask me out, hundreds of them. I would start idle conversation with her whenever I could but she never saw the opening, Never seized the moment.
Today was the final straw. I saw her get out of that wankers car. She walked past me as if I wasn't even there. Her cheeks were a bit flush and her hair was a bit of a mess. Normally she was so perfect. Then I saw it, I fucking saw it. Just on the back of her skirt. It looked like a watermark but I had seen this to many times on socks and old teeshirts crumpled up down the side of my bed. That bitch had been doing the dirty on me with that asshole. Fucking tainted bitch. Wipe that fucking smile off your face.
So I sat there in class rubbing my chubby. She was so gonna get it. The bell rang. The teacher was Just about to tell everyone they were dismissed when I stood up and told everyone to wait. Everyone looked at me angrily. I walked up to the top of the class and told everyone what a skank that bitch was, how she had betrayed me and had broken my heart. The fuckers booed and hissed at me and called me names. That Jock fucker thought he was Oh-so-tough. I pulled out one of the semi automatic pistols I had tucked in my belt and shot the fucker square in the face, dead bang. You would have thaught she would have been gratefull? But no, She wouldn't shut the fuck up. She started wailing and screaming and shouting at me. Everyone was shouting at me as If I wwa steh fucking bad guy. None of them would just shut the fuck up and listen to me. I shot them. I shot them all. The whole fucking class. I shot her the most. She was lying there bleeding, looking up at me. I asked her a very simple question "Do you love me?" She looked at me, beautiful even though her cheeks were streaked in blood and her teardrops made her makeup run, and simply said "No, No I don't love you, what ever made you think that I did?" Prick teasing bitch. I put a bullet straight into her brain. She won't be teasing nobody no more.
User Reviews
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-04-28 22:30:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't know if this was supposed to be funny... or angry... or picturesque...
It was to gross to be funny,
It was too stupid to be angry,
And it was too poorly written to be picturesque.
Only -1 because maybe I just didnt get it.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-04-20 22:02:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Not really feeling it. God, I need a smoke.
Submitted by Drew <secret_one.at.nowhere.com> at 2004-04-20 21:46:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, besides the obvious (grammar errors) this story really struck home with me. Although I would have killed myself instead of all those people. The really sad thing is that she would never have known how freaking cool I was. Sucks for her.
Submitted by Nora Leigh at 2004-03-26 12:14:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ciaran:
I have read several of your entries, and quite frankly, besides the glaring errors in grammar and spelling, you are a pitiful little being.
Submitted by Nora Leigh at 2004-03-26 12:14:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ciaran:
I have read several of your entries, and quite frankly, besides the glaring errors in grammar and spelling, you are pitiful little being.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-01-22 09:47:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad. A little lacking toward the end, but has a lot of twisted morbidity potential. I dig that about it.
Submitted by Fleadh (user info) at 2004-01-22 09:11:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh yea...I actually Just wrote this in response to another post today regarding a killing spree. I just decided to delve a bit into a nutcases mind and see his reasoning for his actions.
C
Submitted by Fleadh (user info) at 2004-01-22 09:08:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanx for the critique apollo, I was trying to go for a sort of delusional loner mindset that ends in a tradgedy where he still believes he is right. I was gonna at teh end have it that he is in a questioning room or in a physcharitrists off or something, but didnt :-)
C
Submitted by Fleadh (user info) at 2004-01-22 09:05:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Trout, Simply put you are a total and utter shithead. Ive seen your reviews. You are the type of fucker who will bash a entire piece because of one typo. There is no worse asshole on the internet then your type of asshole. I dont do this "your a dick, DIE" shite I see here. I state that you are a complete dickwad because I actually mean it. Please dont ever read or rate my posts again you pathetic excuse for a human being. To be honnest If I had a load of kids like squattail writing their dumb comments or just dumb random insults hurled at me, I can take that, Its par of the course. But I cannot abide the anally retentive scourge of the internet who is that are the spelling and grammer nazis. If I were to meet you in real life I would not hesitate to give you the kicking your so deserve. So in uber fashion I say "Go a away and DIE, fucker". I await the shithead who will now invariably state that my registation number has some relevence to how I post...Yes dickhead, you know who you are as well.
Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2004-01-22 09:04:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
yeah i remember when i was in highschool and had sex with my boyfriend too. wait... what?
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-01-22 09:01:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Defo got potential in a crazy self deprecating way.
I suggest a rewrite.
Good in parts though.
^
If the above seems patronising, sorry. It's just I am fucking amazing.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-01-22 09:01:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Defo got potential in a crazy self deprecating way.
I suggest a rewrite.
Good in parts though.
^
If the above seems patronising, sorry. It's just I am fucking amazing.
Submitted by Trout (user info) at 2004-01-22 08:25:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Not bad start but tailed off and then this:
"as If I wwa steh fucking bad guy"
Sheesh.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-01-22 08:22:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
At first it sounded crazy, in a not bad or good kind of way, then it got stupid.