She had it comming (543 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.75 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <daswk.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-01-22 13:43:12 EST
Ah... on my way to class to take my very last exam, it was freezing cold outside and I very much didn't want to leave the warm sanctum that was my car. I step out into the cold morning air, I shiver as I brace myself for the long walk to the building.
Shit is it cold. Backpack slung over my shoulder, I put my head down and charge into the unknown. Slowly in my mind I count down my progres. Two minutes to the door, a minute and half to the door. One minute to the do---OH SHIT! I stumbled. Tripped, probably over this "Air" thing I've been hearing so much about.
Fuck, I didn't fall or anything just lost my balance and wobbled like an idiot. Quickly I glanced around, damage control. Who saw me? How much did they see. I scan the area and come up with nothing, maybe I got lucky this time...wait! Out of the corner of my eye I see something.
It's an old, old lady with a dog. When I say old, I mean OLD. Wrinkled ass and everything. All bundled up from the morning cold, holding a leash leading to a dog who is as big as she is. She is staring at me with a stupid look on her face, as if to say "Way to go Fucker."
No one calls me a fucker. NO ONE sees me lose my grace for even a second and lives to tell about it. No one. My eyes narrow in on her. I smirk. What's this! She matches my stare of death with one of her own. Let me tell you folks, you have never seen a stare of death until you have seen it from someone with one foot in the grave. I could see the reaper following her boney, old ass.
I can see this can only end in one way, one of us will wind up dead. Staring at eachother, we each wait for the other to make the first move. I can see that I have the advantage of youth, but she has a furry companion that is flashing me its pearly whites.
She blinks.
In an instant I take off, jumping well over 15 feet into the air, I push off the trunk of a nearbye tree and dive towards her. She sees this and takes off after me. Her trajectory matching mine. She however makes a strategic mistake, she forgot to let go of the leash. Her pooch gets the suprise of its short life as they each pass a branch on different side.
YELP!!! The dog screached as their momentum was used against them and they smacked into eachother. Thinking fast I changed my direction midair and dove towards them. I wrapped the leash around boney bitch's neck and pushed her off the tree. She and her dog were literally choking themselves to death as I sat back and watched.
Eventually the twitching ceased and I was once again on my way. It's amazing how a little morning murder really gets the blood flowing, I was no longer cold. Bitch deserved it, no one sees me at anything less than gracefull and lives to tell the tale. She had it comming.
User Reviews
Submitted by Swik (user info) at 2004-01-22 15:21:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ah, austin powers flashbacks....yeah baby yeaaah!
Shagadellic Bay-bee
oh...sorry...-2 myself hehe
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-01-22 14:48:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"""Submitted by Swik (user info) at 2004-01-22 14:47:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
No, not the British teeth of mustard yellow doom!!!!
now you all have it coMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMing...
<flies away> """
heheheheh. funny.
Submitted by Swik (user info) at 2004-01-22 14:47:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No, not the British teeth of mustard yellow doom!!!!
now you all have it coMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMing...
<flies away>
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2004-01-22 14:46:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
really not that impressed.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-01-22 14:43:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<ducks and uses special British secret move - the smile of death! Yellow jagged teeth shall blind you. You are now my biatch>
Submitted by Swik (user info) at 2004-01-22 14:40:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
waiting for someone to say that...now you have it comming
heeeeeeeeeeyaaaaaaah!!!!!!!
<kills apollo>
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-01-22 14:35:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Cool.
Coming not comming.
I know I am anal.
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2004-01-22 14:30:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Disturbing, yet bizarrely compelling.
Submitted by someguy (user info) at 2004-01-22 14:20:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Good twisted story...
Submitted by elmcityduke (user info) at 2004-01-22 14:07:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Good shit FUCKER! =)
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-01-22 13:50:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"you have never seen a stare of death until you have seen it from someone with one foot in the grave"
Ahahahaha. That made me smile.