Uberia: Chapter XII From the ashes (782 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.75 on 48 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Uber Scratch <lordofthepost.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-01-27 01:51:00 EST
Uberia Cover
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23462
Chapter I
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23306
Chapter II: Loki's Descent
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23314
Chapter III: The Post Wars
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23319
Chapter IV: The Discovery
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23357
Chapter V: Further down the spiral
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23461
Chapter VI: A Taste of Fury
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23468
Chapter VII: The Merciless Siren
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23576
Chapter VIII: Rise of the Triad
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23679
Chapter IX: Battle Rage
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23795
Chapter X: Goliath Strike
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23900
Chapter XI: Deadly Encounters
http://www.ubersite.com/m/24112
Comment and you could live the story
Uberia: Chapter XII From the ashes
The knights of Uberia moved up the trail that led to the upper plains. They made good time, knowing that their Lord's life depended on it. They all agreed that they would make haste to Boredatwork and return to their King as soon as possible. Riding on horseback is a lot easier than trudging through a riverbank on foot. As they moved from the upper plains to the dense forest, they felt a sigh of relief being so close to home. Another hour and they would be in Boredatwork. Many of the knights and citizens of Uberia lived in Boredatwork. It was close to the castle and presented an opportunity for more affordable real estate. Affordable yes, but the real estate was offered only to the most prestigious of Uberia. It was a trading ground for things of interest from all over Cyber, and many people had stands and shops to sell their wares. The traders would come in each morning and leave in the evening; they were not invited to stay, for this was living grounds only for the elite.
As they moved deeper into the darkness of the forest, they noticed wooden signs posted all over the trees. It was strange, because this place was pretty distant and not a place for heavy traffic. As they looked closer, they noticed the signs. All of the signs had zen33652 on them.
"Strange," said Razor, "these signs are all the same, are they coordinates for something?"
At that moment their deep thought was interrupted by a man humming off in the distance. As they followed the humming noise, they made way to a medium sized tree. Under the tree stood a short little man behind a table, with a sign above his head that read "TuesdayDelay is here!"
The short little man initiated the conversation, "Good day to you, I am Stanley Tuesday."
There was nothing more but a pause of uncomfortable silence.
"What is this place?" Said Lisa
"This is my Kingdom, I rule this tree" he stated in a proud tone.
McGinney held back a bout of laughter, "You rule this tree eh?"
"Yes, this is my tree"
"No, you are in Uberia, this is Lord Bart's tree" Lisa argued
"My tree" Tuesdaydelay repeated
"No, this is not your tree; this is Lord Bart's tree" Said McGinny in an unpleasant tone
"Screw the King, I do what I want" Said Tuesdaydelay
"Razor hand me your long sword" said Lisa in frustration
"No, it's not our place, let this chauncey be" answered Razor
"Your tree sucks and so do you, monkey boy" shouted Lisa, still frustrated at his antics.
They walked off to the sound of him yelling "My Tree My Tree My Tree"
"Ignore him; it's the worst punishment we could give someone like that" Said McGinny
They walked off, to leave the man who ruled a tree, but treated it as if it were a kingdom.
As the Paladins moved off into the billowing smoke, all that they could do was follow their General, as he led the pack in a moderate marching jog. As they passed by the ruins of the machine, every now and then they could catch a glimpse of the fallen giant when the wind blew the smoke to the side. Even in rubble, the machine was still expansive. They were dodging fallen debris lodged in the ground all around them, and it made travel tedious and difficult since they could not travel at full speed. They moved around the lake of SPAM and northeast towards the Silicon Valley. They were anxious to see why their fellow Paladins have been unresponsive to the King. Loren1 was leading them on a diplomatic mission with the boss. Boss Gates was a tyrant, but reasonable when his kingdom becomes threatened. He has been fighting the Mac's (Another large Kingdom) for several years now. Soon the brave paladins would all be standing before him, pleading for his help, or locked in chains under his feet. They had no idea of what they could expect in Microsoft.
Loki and the others moved out, at a medium pace, to allow time for Lord Bart to catch up with them. Loki walked abreast with Ed Dee, behind followed Mac with LaNa, and in the rear DarthAwesome with Madjestervince.
"How did you do that?" Asked Ed Dee
"Do what?" responded Loki
"The series of posts you launched at Newgirl, it seemed like three or four of them in a row"
"It's called flaming, a true master of the post can call it when they become enraged or really provoked. I don't do it often; there was just something about her that pissed me off"
"Well it was awesome; I've never seen anything like it"
Loki just chuckled at the up and coming newbie. He had potential, she thought, but a long way to go
"So is it true what they say about Giants?" Asked LaNa
Mac responded, "Yea, we are all pretty hairy"
"No, I meant about their....strength"
Mac's cheeks began to glow red, "Oh.. uh.... Yea.. we're pretty strong I guess. Actually, as you can see, I'm not a full-blooded giant, I'm a halfie. My mother was human my father was a giant. That's why I'm about as tall as an above average human, but stout like a Giant.
"And Hairy like a Giant" LaNa added, to endow upon his embarrassment. "What about the 'other' qualities?
Mac's head looked as if it would burst into flames of pure humiliation, "Um.. I...I... I gotta check on Ed, looks like he's struggling up there"
Darthawesome and Madjestervince fell a bit further from the larger group as they talked. "Why didn't you tell me about that note?" Asked Madjestervince
"I was ashamed; I had worked for McBain for a short while, something I'm not proud of"
"Well now everyone's got their eye on us"
"Good, would want them to miss me when I kick some post-killer ass"
They chuckled a bit at the comment.
They were all in good spirits, Loki was fully healed, Mac had finally gotten to eat, and Ed was talking to a walking legend. The king would be with them shortly, and they had the false sense of security that when he arrived, he would know what to do. Bart had been known throughout Uberia as a powerful leader, and always having the answers. They marched on, telling war stories, fables, and everyday occurrences. It was the first time the whole lot of them got a chance to really bond. All they needed now was the company of their King.
Lord Bart could hear voices as he faded in and out, but could not tell where he was, or who was addressing him. Slowly he came back from the realm of the dying, and as he opened his eyes, he could only see fire. At first, he thought HE was in the fire, which jolted him. After his intoxication from being so weak wore off, he started to move his head to take in his surroundings. Soon he saw, out of the corner of his eye, a friendly face. Relief fell over him as the figure approached.
"That beast almost had you milord, but he was no match for my war axe. I gave him a good beating for you, but he did get away."
Lord Bart could barely mumble the words of his savior's name, "Big Mike, good to see you"
"Damn good to see you too King, but I'd rather see you in better shape. You're pretty banged up, so we are gonna rest here for awhile." The concerned King quickly changed the subject to his other companion, "Jonukah?"
"He's not doing half as well as you, milord, I put some healing herbs on his wounds, but Christpunch sliced him up bad."
"How'd you make..."
"I survived, because I would not fail. Let me tell you, I thought I was doomed; I was surrounded by familiars and post-killers. Something got into me, I knew it wasn't my time, so I sliced and diced the lot of them. I was honestly knocked unconscious by one of them. I awoke as they were dragging me back to Ubersite like a trophy. I finished the rest of them off and would have gotten here sooner but got lost in the sewers. I made it here just in time to see you getting dragged off in the distance. After a surprise attack the creature was startled and ran off wounded. I diverted my attention to you and Jonukah rather than go after him. Now get some rest while I tend to Jonukah, I want you to heal quickly, because we are going to have to get out of here soon."
Mmmvag led his men out of the forest and into the fields. From a distance, he could see Boredatwork. He wanted this opportunity more than ever, he was better than Koolmang, and this was his chance to show McBain that he should be second in command. He was dressed in full plate mail amour, along with his prized possession, his "Helm of Darkness, a magical helm which gave him short bursts of power added in with his post-kills. He halted his army and turned towards his men. "By Nightfall, we will attack. By Dawn, we will own Boredatwork"
User Reviews
Submitted by Dlove (user info) at 2004-01-30 11:35:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mac - I only used you as the topping for my request because everyone knows that Italian librarians are motivated, smooth, savvy operators and can get whatever they want. They are similar to half-korean network administrators. The women, fame, idolation of the masses. You know what I'm talkin about here!
Submitted by Mac (user info) at 2004-01-30 10:55:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dlove,
serioulsy bro- "pretty please with Mac on top"? WTF? You just can't say things like that without people questioning your sexuality. And you wonder why your girlfriend cheats on you. Ha ha! Clownin.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-01-30 10:35:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Need... more... Uberia.....
Come on I've had a bad week, one of my best friends cancelled on me for movies (he is a prick. yessum.) I need this.
But seriously, want more? need ten... I mean Uberia....
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-01-30 09:08:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Guys, this weekend - I promise, aiming for some new character introductions shortly as well.
Question: Will I be in the story
Answer: Most likely
That's why I post in every chapter "Comment and you could live the story"
Submitted by Dlove (user info) at 2004-01-30 08:06:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're leaving us hanging waaay too long man. It's been 2 days. I've got the shakes and my support group no longer fills the void that Uberia fills.
Hey, pretty please with Mac on top will you put me in the story as a leader of a pack of whiny Uberians who pester someone about being part of something cool? Pretty please? I promise my life will have purpose if I have to ask and force myself into a story that doesn't need me. Please?
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-01-29 12:31:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
damnit. it was just a glitch. the shits back.
I am a moron.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-01-29 12:29:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit, Laney has been Deleted.
AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
its true, you suck. AHAHAHAHAH
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-01-29 12:24:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can be a mysterious person that no one knows..... A figure cloaked in black, occasionally giving help when needed... or something. Meh. Just make me pretty, please =P If I get a part that is =)
Submitted by LaNa (user info) at 2004-01-29 12:03:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Mac - your a giant, with gigantic proportions..."
====
Should I be scared? excited? a lil of both?
I think the real question here is who's hairier - Jonukah or Mac?
Enquiring Minds need to know!
~LaNa :)
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-01-29 08:44:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AAHAHAHAHAHAHA WOW Lameney you really showed him. He's never going to mess with you again.
makes note to stay on LOTP's good side - yiiii)
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-01-29 01:19:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
As for everyone else - Thank you for continuing to humor my little story. You guys are great!
Kaelic / QA / All others who requested a part in the story - you already had a part, I just hadn't written it yet. Please know you are not left out intentionally, keep reading...
Mac - your a giant, with gigantic proportions, but a shy giant
This story is, in my humble opinion, finally going to start getting good. Thanks all!
Scratch
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-01-29 01:10:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Layney, no, it's because you are lame, have no friends, and wipe your hands between your balls and your legs and you sniff it. Nobody likes that shit, so stay away from Ubersite and especially my posts if you are going to lash out at other people and use my post as an example.
I would bet my left nut that a gnat could flutter around the keyboard and top your material, let's bring it out
Lame Post #1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/24106
Gellieman taking over....watch out!! -
That just screams "I'm an asshole, look at me" nice job for your first post
Lame Post #2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/24214
Weird guys with penises on their faces......click here for more info...
After your tired rants about Gellieman, you pull this shit. It was right about now where everybody started hating you, mark the date you wrote this on your calendar
Lame Post #3
http://www.ubersite.com/m/24294
Click here to return to the list of messages.
how to write an essay, complete how to guide.....no bullshit
Ah hell, Tak said it best -
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-01-28 21:13:42 (#)
Ranking: 0
I hereby declare you fuckfodder, and vow to never click on another post with your name anywhere near its title.
Please Uber, rally with me.
You are a pitiful excuse for a 12 year old. Most 12 years look like Mensa compared to you.
Now you come into my post and fuck around like a kid who first discovered how to get off in a coke can, and you've pissed me off. I've ignored all the other fuckpots here who have blatently given me a negative comment because they can actually type something (Even if it does suck) with substance but you have nothing. You've got no juice, nobody likes you, you really should consider overdosing on that shit you've been taking right before attempting to write a post.
People would rather write their names on the wall with their own shit than read your posts, and judging from the comments you've recieved, they've tried to tell you that.
Get the hint, and go back to cuntbiscuit.com where you came from..
Good Posters -->Let's take this fucking site back. We are going to war.
Oh, and as far as your ALL CAPS Approach.. please refer to this...
http://maddox.xmission.com/hatemail.cgi?p=1#CAPSLOCK
Submitted by layney (user info) at 2004-01-28 22:40:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OH I GET IT NOW!!!!!YOU GUYS LIKE THIS TYPE OF SHIT!!!!! HA HA HAHAHA!!!!!!! NOW I SEE WHY YOU WERENT INTERESTED IN ANY OF MINE........
Submitted by booles (user info) at 2004-01-28 22:37:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
wow this is such an entertaining post! i read the whole thing! twice
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-01-28 22:35:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wanna be the Queen of something. That should make it easy to fit my name in.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2004-01-28 22:29:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Even Bart himself said I should be in this story. Why do you hate me? Strong jawed vigilante whose allegiance is always in question. Oh yeah.
Submitted by Mac (user info) at 2004-01-28 13:21:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
audjgirl,
"...whose dick do you have to suck to get a part around here? "
Mine. I promise.
Uberscratch,
What's the deal here, bro? Am I supposed to have a small wang or something? WTF? Either way, the tuesadaydelay thing was priceless.
Buttons,
Good to see you here. You better post something though.
Submitted by audjgirl (user info) at 2004-01-28 09:38:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
crap, i still haven't been mentioned...whose dick do you have to suck to get a part around here?
i already read jonukah's manual. i'm sure i can do it better this time :'(
Submitted by Confusion (user info) at 2004-01-28 00:34:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my lord.
Oh my lord.
Oh my lord.
Submitted by Buttons (user info) at 2004-01-28 00:21:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Going to Ubersite and having to read something? Weird. I'm going to www.metacrawler.com, but I hope I don't have to search for something again."
Haha, almost as good as these posts! Oh, and I think I know you, too! Keep up the great work.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-01-28 00:13:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hee hee hee
*runs away sniggering*
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-01-28 00:09:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Tak, it's a let down, I'm actually an Uber-nobody
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-01-27 22:16:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Whoa, loki you tried to email me? Apparently you tried to use tak.at.twistedfraggers.com right? That's been discontinued due to some unfortunate mishaps...My real email right now is, get this because it's pretty long and "plain" is misspelled...
theraininspainfallsmainlyontheplane.at.hotmail.com
Dammit, now I'm all intrigued. Who are you LOTP??
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-01-27 22:06:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome, keep it up.
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-01-27 21:50:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
When I was reading this, I was actually thinking "wheres Bigmike?"
And then wham!
There he is
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-01-27 18:03:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kristen, not my intention to leave you out... COMING SOON Kristen the .... uh.. let me work on it ok?
Tuesday Delay Quote
"Hm...I'm mentioned. God, I'll have to actually READ something now.
Hmmph."
Going to Ubersite and having to read something? Weird. I'm going to www.metacrawler.com, but I hope I don't have to search for something again
I'm giving myself a +2 because it doesn't make sense because I know It doesn't count.. kay?
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-01-27 17:11:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's probably based on standardized tests Phinch. After all, isn't an SAT score just a measure on your worth as a human?
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-01-27 16:52:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wanna get in on this action. C'mon...I'll do your laundry for a week...
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-01-27 16:49:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
loki- his lordship takes a while to reply to his emails. I suppose its because he's pretty busy RUNNING AROUND KICKING ALL KINDS OF ASS!
I still want to learn about smokey's test.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-01-27 16:35:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's because Phinch is Asian and therefore smarter than the rest of us. Hey, I'm just going on demographics here. I have been trying to taunt Tak with cries of "I know something you don't know" but he's not answering his e-mail.
As for newgirl, I thought I did us all a service there, but according to the East German judges, as always, I was p3ned. <shrug>
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-01-27 16:25:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hm...I'm mentioned. God, I'll have to actually READ something now.
Hmmph.
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-01-27 15:43:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks guys - as always, you are making the story. Wouldn't have any material that was half as good if this site wasn't as interesting as it was. Loki - I think you are right, I don't see her anywhere, nothing like ripping a girls legs and arms off and beating her to a pulp.
A PBS national annoucement: Don't mess with Loki kids
Loki, heard you and phinch figured out the mystery, great work!
Submitted by MadJesterVince (user info) at 2004-01-27 14:43:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your story only seems to get more interesting as times goes on. You are a consistantly excellent writer and you post a lot. This story rules, keep it up!
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-01-27 13:42:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I did in NewGirl, unless she had sense enough to change her username. I saw some camwhore post and thought it might be her, but decided to just let it go for now and that one seems to have vanished too. I lament for the loss uber has suffered over her departure - except not.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-01-27 12:19:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This just keeps getting better and better. I don't know how, but it does.
Almost makes me wish I was in the story...
(Very bad sublminal request to be in the story above).
Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2004-01-27 11:46:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kicker of all ass.
I can just see BigMike and his 300 pounds of UBER FURY kicking Christpunch's ass
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-01-27 11:44:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh shit the tuesday bit had me rolling. i wonder if he will have a role in the fate of uberia.
Only time and Lordofthepost will tell.
today's chapters have kicked all ass. completly.
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2004-01-27 11:11:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Always a great read, don't stop writing.
Submitted by Dlove (user info) at 2004-01-27 10:53:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got no power at my place, my girlfriend's place or my girlfriend's parents place. I came to work today just so I could get on Uber and see if you'd posted any more chapters.
Thanks for not letting me down!
Kick ass stories man, it's getting better and better.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-01-27 09:16:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I saved the day. At least for now. I was wondering if I would be back. Sounds like we have a lot more work to do though.
I knew those damn post killers couldn't defeat me that easily. LOL.
This has been very well written since post one. You have the whole of Uber waiting for the next installment.
Nice job.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-01-27 04:56:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh... what I would give for you to write in a love scene between me and Loren... ahhh
Submitted by UberWeiss (user info) at 2004-01-27 02:57:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Although the praise is slowly ripening in repetetive echoes and I'm just settling in nice and comfy to read and enjoy, the lego still kicks asse - I LIKE stories with picture's :)
Best thing is, the characters in the story are starting to take on more association than the RL handles of Ubersite. When BigMike stepped into the picture in my minds eye I saw one big mother of a knight cos I'd just read his 300pound post!
Nice imagery, great parallels, still rocking.
UW
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-01-27 02:47:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I would never hope that I myself was at one time a post killer. I define a post killer as a member of this site who voluntarily and intentionally attempts to divert attention from those who work hard and put thought in their posts with content such as "Koolmang's How I got my name" post and all the crap posts out there. I'll reveal myself in the story, but some have already figured it out (Honestly I'm not that anal about it but am having fun and it will be fun for those who don't know)
Really if you read into some of the chapters you can figure it out.
I really appreciate the support of you and the Uberians, I have a real appreciation for this site and it's members.
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-01-27 02:38:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know you will not reveal yourself until this saga is done. That is quite allright with me. But you mentioned sometime ago that you were in the story and that we (Uber) knew you...
Even if you are yourself a post-killer, I would still name this story "Kick-Ass".
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-01-27 02:33:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I could put up with four or more of these a day. The tuesdaydelay stuff had me laughing out loud right here at two thirty in the morning.
Not to be a prude...but LOTP, who are you? I may be just guessing here, but...would I be far off to say that you are more than one person?
Either way...BigMike kicks ass, Uberia kicks ass, and you my friend (or friends as it may be), kick ass.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-01-27 02:27:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn you are on a roll.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-01-27 02:09:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes! Big Mike saves the day!
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-01-27 02:08:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahaah I rule this tree... classic...
Damn you, this has become addictive. I need more.....