Battle of Fire Extinguishers or what not to use a fire extinguisher for (796 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.66 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Brickhouse (View user info) at 2004-01-30 18:34:23 EST
The supplies
Group of college drinkers
2 fire extinguishers
Nothing-interesting taking place
Now the Story
Back again to my joyful college career, living next to two of my hometown friends. The night started like any other night, drinking and cooking out. When Brad came up with one of his trademark ideas. And that's where we begin.
"Hey James, lets light a match and put it by the balcony door, and when Kyle comes out spray some lighter fluid on it."
"Shit man, I don't know. How we going to get it out?"
"Just use the fire extinguisher. After he freaks out, extinguish it."
"Okay, sounds like a good time."
There we are, three or four of us out on the deck waiting for Kyle to come out. As he slides open the door, Brad lights a match and throws it down. Immediately following the fallen match, the lighter fluid sprays down upon it. Nothing.
Again, the fluid is sprayed upon the still burning match. Again nothing.
"Fuck this" Is all Brad says as he lights another match and places it in the middle of a growing potential liquid fire puddle.
"Holy fucking shit, put that out" The flames burst into the darkening sky as I began to fumble with the red can that will save the apartment complex and us.
"James, put that shit out man, come on dude!"
After several minutes (elapsed time 30 seconds) my hands and mind begin to work together as the safety pin (pin of death) is finally removed allowing the white mist of freedom to surround us, removing the death red streaks of stupidity.
Now for most people the fire extinguisher would have been placed somewhere of high regard, in case our acts of stupidity showed themselves again. That was our second mistake, not stopping when things were at a happy medium.
We all go back inside, myself still carrying around the can of life when the demon strikes up a conversation with my less than strong willed side. Slowly I left the once life saving can into position. Kyle's eyes grow wide as he realizes the potential danger of what is about to happen. He tries to turn away, but is frozen in anticipation the act to follow. Then...
"POOOOOFFFFFFFF" The fire extinguisher laughs as Kyle is bombarded with the cloud of white smoke. I'm almost afraid to look, as half expecting to see a rabbit standing the place of the once shocked Kyle. But no such luck.
Laughs turned to ill-fated tempers; vengeance was on the mind of the assaulted. Not a punch not a kick, but true revenge, the kind you don't see till you see it. I was about to get a taste of retribution that I shall wish never to receive again.
About a half hour later I finally decide to go to my apartment and get a broom to clean up the mess that I had so willfully caused. Soon I would be graced with a sight that would cause a many maids to fall to their knees clutching their hearts, praying to God for a quick death.
The once helpful extinguisher had become piece to torment. Evenly layered throughout the house was the contains this menacing container. A look of Christmas had been joyfully sprayed though the inviting envelope slot of the now hated door. No time to think, just act.
My device of vengeance was easily accessible and equipped as the march of my own revenge started. The last remaining fire extinguisher in hand, I sought out their own backstabbing letter slot.
Knowing of the potential attack my enemies had taken seize behind the door as to prevent any invasion. But I was not to be detruded. Thrusting the end of the nozzle into the opening, I began a semi sexually circular motion, forcing my overpowering white substance into narrow crevice, where it too would expand as millions and millions particles sought out a final resting place.
Several close fights later, the laughter of what took place could be heard, as everything was moved outside into showers of the coming morning, while we attempted to clean the remains of the greatest fire extinguisher battle ever.
Kids, don't try this at home.
User Reviews
Submitted by GreaterThanBest (user info) at 2004-02-03 22:26:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That there is some funny ass shit
Submitted by amusediniraq (user info) at 2004-01-31 08:14:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"POOOOOFFFFFFFF" The fire extinguisher laughs"
and so did I
Submitted by opakapaka (user info) at 2004-01-30 22:48:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
great idea for my dorm on the weekend.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-01-30 19:45:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This post sucked.. I mean sucked.. I mean sucked... I mean sucked... I mean sucked... I mean sucked... I mean su--
...needs some work.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-01-30 19:39:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This could be compared to a 5 act play about taking a dump.
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-01-30 19:31:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, Brickhouse, are you drunk right now??
That was some very eloquent language you used to describe a very simple scene. I think I'll get drunk and have fun with a fire extinguisher here in a minute...
Submitted by BRICKHOUSE (user info) at 2004-01-30 19:19:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-01-30 18:42:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
By the way, why aren't you rating my stuff anymore? Your honest criticism was appreciated.
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First thank for the review, sorry about the lake of reviews lately, been busy with work, school, and doing the damned taxes.
But, I will be rating soon.
And looking forward to reading more of your post
later man
Submitted by skatastrophy (user info) at 2004-01-30 19:15:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Who else noticed alot of uber posts begin with boredom and alcohol... i think i need more alcohol.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-01-30 19:06:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bubba, you need to smoke your shit after you type, not before.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-01-30 18:42:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
By the way, why aren't you rating my stuff anymore? Your honest criticism was appreciated.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-01-30 18:41:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like how you use dramatic visual imagery to describe this. It's like reading a novel about something no one would write a novel about.
Submitted by Lucifer_Industries (user info) at 2004-01-30 18:38:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You spun a tale of madness not seen on this board since about 3pm.
Malone
Lucifer Industries LLC
http://www.luciferindustries.com
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-01-30 18:38:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
sounds liek ti might have been funny... but fucking painful to read... egad.