The Children of Switzerland Never Had a Chance. (768 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.4 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Beau <Party03> (View user info) at 2004-02-02 13:44:33 EST
"Boom! Ka-powie! Blam! Blam!" George W. exclaimed as he moved is green army men toys over his world map. "It's high time we attack Switzerland. Those damn pussies are always ducking and dodging," He said to Dick Cheney, "Ooooh, look at us, we're Switzerland. We're neutral, you can't touch us." He mocked.
"Ok, I'll be Switzerland." Dick said.
"No stupid! I mean attack them for real. God you're such an idiot Cheney."
"Sorry, boss." Cheney answered.
"Send in my speech writer guy." Bush said.
Together they drew up a plan of how they would tell the American public that Switzerland deserved to be attacked. They made their case before congress, and blew more smoke up their ass than Keith Richards rimming Madonna.
Needless to say, congress approved, and war was declared. The American Military geared up with the plan set up by the commander in chief. Intel provided, the swiss would not be a challenge, after all, how butch is an army that has a wine opener on their knife? Training focused on avoiding attacks from plastic toothpicks cleverly hidden in the handle of said knifes.
Before long the military was ready to invade. When the day came, America took Swizterland in twelve hours. It would have taken less time, but they were bombarded with the terrible stench of nasty swiss cheese, and had to avoid wine cork projectiles.
In his triumphant speech, George W. (who had forgotten to take off his WW2 style helmet that he always wore when playing with his Army men) announced "The Children of Switzerland Never Had a Chance."
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The disclaimer that you have to include:
This post is an entry in UberPost2004. Understand that a review for this post counts as criteria for the judgment of the contest. Only ratings from registered users will be counted. Only the first rating from each user will be counted. Ratings will be accepted for the contest until Monday, February 9, at 11:59:59 pm.
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Author's note:
I don't expect to win, but I wanted to post, and you can't stop me.
User Reviews
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2004-02-09 12:58:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i love the Bush doll, gives us all a lifelike effigy to burn
Submitted by George W. Bushface at 2004-02-08 18:20:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
George Bush is an infected testical with the intelligence of a mentally retarded grain of sand. He is mentally inept and should be put through a meat grinder...
..oh, yeah, Switzerland would probably hurl cheese projectiles at oncoming infantry and tanks, causing little or no damage, until it got warmer and the cheese melted - causing the infantry and talks to be stuck and therefore able to eat. I imagine eating someone covered in cheese would be a tastey snack.
Uh, yes...good work!! Thumbs up, a gold star for you!! I enjoyed it. Oneday, hopefully, you will receive a box of meat...preferably in a tucker box.
Submitted by moxie (user info) at 2004-02-08 17:57:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The beginning was great, made me smile. but...
after all, how butch is an army that has a wine opener on their knife?
am I mistaken, or is that not a quote from Robin Williams Live on Broadway?!?
Submitted by LacyFace16 (user info) at 2004-02-04 12:56:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
you could have done sooo much more with this. but it definitely made me laugh.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-02-02 18:27:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this one is to cancel out koolmang and that other dude with the 4000+ user ID
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-02-02 18:27:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well dammit, i liked it!
Submitted by Natophelia (user info) at 2004-02-02 15:01:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"No stupid! I mean attack them for real. God you're such an idiot Cheney."
Pretending the President talks like that always makes me giggle.
Submitted by voodoocheese (user info) at 2004-02-02 14:52:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
how butch is an army that has a wine opener on their knife?-
nice.
Submitted by KingFreakingKong (user info) at 2004-02-02 14:23:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Zzzzzzzzzz.
Submitted by Party03 (user info) at 2004-02-02 14:03:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm runnin on empty here.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-02-02 13:51:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Didn't go anywhere.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-02-02 13:50:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
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