Animals that explode. (1080 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jo (View user info) at 2004-02-04 08:06:11 EST
Animals that explode.
I truly hate pigeons. It's not that I'm scared of them or anything... I just hate them. I mean what on earth are they here for? They don't look pretty like a canary, they can't talk like a parrot and you don't eat them like a.... Chicken!?! So far as I can see all they do is eat rubbish, shit all over the place and spread diseases.
So I have a plan!
All animals deserve a decent last meal, like you'd give a prisoner of war, and make no mistake this is a war!
Pigeons like bread, great, fine. I believe we should give them bread.... Bread with a bang!
~~~~ Timewarp back a few years ago with me ~~~~
Science class... Can't recall if it was the teacher or one of those brainy kids... Whoever it is they are telling me that if you were to soak some bread in bicarbonate of soda and then feed the bread to a small animal, some kind of chemical reaction will occur in their stomach and basically... hehehehehe... they will quite literally explode!
~~~~ Timewarp back to now ~~~~
...So I call on you all, help me in this task! Go to the store, find the corner shop, raid your gran's pantry! Take one loaf of bread and one tub of bicarbonate of soda. Soak the loaf in the bicarb and feed those pigeons!
Beware though. There could be casualties as with any war... many events have occurred since that science class, my brain has been alcoholically assaulted many times since then and I must confess that I cannot remember how quickly the chemical reaction takes. It would be a sad day if one of you brave soldiers was to take the full blast of an exploding pigeon. I mean... which stain remover works on pigeon guts?
**********The disclaimer**********
This post is an entry in UberPost2004. Understand that a review for this post counts as criteria for the judgement of the contest. Only ratings from registered users will be counted. Only the first rating from each user will be counted. Ratings will be accepted for the contest until Monday, February 9, at 11:59:59 pm.
User Reviews
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-02-06 02:21:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
My brother shot a rabbit with a .303 rifle some years ago. It exploded quite nicely.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2004-02-04 12:06:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I liked it better when these stories were about sea gulls... i hate sea gulls... grrrrr
Submitted by amusediniraq (user info) at 2004-02-04 11:01:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll give you a +1 because all it really does is rupture their stomachs, they don't actually explode like POOF! Feathers. Don't ask me how I know this, I was sworn to secrecy by Billy Siskle in the 9th grade.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-02-04 08:17:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good luck.