Old Home Movies Part 1: Dad the Porno Guy (4198 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.65 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sideburns (View user info) at 2004-02-08 00:40:50 EST
I was going through some old home videos of me when I was a kid and I've come to the realization that I was one dumbass kid. I have many, many home movies to vouch for it too, because my dad was obsessed with recording almost any occassion. Not only that, but dad obviously thought he was filming a porn scene at certain times. Now, sit back, relax, and take a trip with me back to my childhood:
Now that I think about it, I don't think my dad was pulling out the camcorder just to see his two precious kids playing on the playground, oh no. He did very bad things with his cameraman capabilities, things that I shouldn't be at liberty to discuss because these sort of things can psychologically damage a kid. Every once in a while, he would zoom in on my mom. Not just dear ol' mother, but a certain part of her body. I'm shuddering as I type this... he would focus in on her butt and *cough* breasts. Did he NOT know that his kids watch these videos too?
It didn't end there, mom decided to be a camcorder whore. Whenever little Justin(me) was off in the distance innocently riding his bike, dad would take that opportunity to zoom in on mom. The scary thing is, I never noticed this until I was older.
"Debbie, I see you", says dad as he holds the camcorder zoomed in on her..uh..ewww
"Oh yea? You see this?".
Shirt comes up, dad has a quick glance, and innocently goes back to filming his two kids playing in the yard. The madness didn't stop there. The couples that lived on our street would bring over their kids to play and dad would whip out his.... ehh... camcorder. While the neighbor was sitting on the couch, dad took this opportunity to take advantage of the zoom feature. I guess the husbands of these women had no idea their wives' funbags were being documented into my dad's porn...er... home movies.
More to come...
-Sideburns
User Reviews
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-02-11 00:37:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Get the whole series!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/25125 Old Home Movies: Dad the Porno Guy
http://www.ubersite.com/m/25164 Old Home Movies: Dad the Porno Guy, Continued
http://www.ubersite.com/m/25239 Old Home Movies: Meet the Family Part 1- Aunt Tammie
http://www.ubersite.com/m/25316 Old Home Movies: Meet the Family Part 2- Drunk Mom
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-02-10 16:06:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-02-10 10:03:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
years ago my brother and i visited my dad for the christmas holidays. He boasted about getting this new cam-corder. So one night, we wanna look over what we've taped, and he says sure. So we rewind a while and press play, and up comes this naked woman (ugly as fucking hell) legs parted and him in between them. This godawful "UH!" fills the room, shortly followed by me and my brother's screams. We stopped it and threw the camera to my dad, who didn't even have the decency to look embarrassed. Even worse is that it wasn't his girlfriend (that he had been seeing, when he bought the camera, and was still seeing)
asshole fathers...
seb
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-02-10 01:03:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantastic
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-02-09 06:28:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That chick has nipple rings.
Funny story, man. I'm glad there's no mom-boob shots in our home videos.
Submitted by Mary <captain_smee.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-02-09 06:07:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
she has a nipple on. **grin**
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-02-08 23:26:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-02-08 22:45:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Ha a good ol red blooded man.
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-02-08 21:00:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
#1: That girls nipples are pointed insanely sideways. Yay for botched boob jobs!
#2: +2 because i'm sure you're read my posts before, and you see how crazy my parents are too.
Hooray for our childhood-related mental trauma!!
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-02-08 19:04:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll pay 10 bucks for them.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-02-08 10:22:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
tee hee
I have to agree with AnnabelLee... It's all about the spontaneous generation.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-02-08 08:27:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank God my parents never did any of that...
I distinctly remember one home video where my dad asked me, "Krissy, what did you learn in church today?" and myself saying, "That God loves us. And church is quiet. BUT I'M LOUD!" (shouting the last part.) I'm somewhat ashamed to admit I was wearing white tube socks with 2 pink stripes around the top of them, pulled all the way up to just below my kneecaps...and somewhere in the background, you can hear the song "La Bamba" playing.
Almost as horrifying, just in a different way.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-02-08 07:27:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Just makes you wonder who he traded your mom for on some nights
Submitted by Lucifer_Industries (user info) at 2004-02-08 03:21:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mmmmmph this post is making me hot under the collar!
Malone
Submitted by amusediniraq (user info) at 2004-02-08 03:15:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am eagerly awaiting part 2
Submitted by AnnabelLee (user info) at 2004-02-08 02:40:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Ewwwwww. Parents do NOT have reproductive organs. Parents do NOT have reproductive organs. Parents do NOT...
I contend that I was spontaneously generated within the womb and then c-sectioned out.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-02-08 01:38:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2004-02-08 01:34:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i like the shirt
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-02-08 01:11:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's two posts in a row that I didn't use the word 'fuck' on.
go me.
Submitted by Someone at 2004-02-08 00:54:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Only because I wanna know where all this is going.
Submitted by Acura_Man (user info) at 2004-02-08 00:52:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*fuckin
Submitted by Acura_Man (user info) at 2004-02-08 00:52:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your dad is fruckin awesome.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-02-08 00:51:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha.... Now I'm glad that we didn't have a video camera when I was growing up.