Old Home Movies Part 1: Dad The Porno Guy, Continued (4305 hits)
Category: Movies & TVRating: 1.96 on 59 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sideburns (View user info) at 2004-02-08 23:19:52 EST
Part 1 http://www.ubersite.com/m/25125
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Just last week, I was going through some old home movies, paying close attention to each one. I discovered that my father was prone to taking advantage of the zoom feature when there was someone of the opposite sex around.
This disgusts me. Why? Because these women were butt-ugly.
As I rummaged through each box, I found one tape that I had never seen before. Written, in pen, on the label was a description of each event that was videotaped. The last one caught my eye:
October 1995- Kids playing on playground
March 6, 1996- Justin's birthday party
May 1996- Kathie gets drunk
Now, this was interesting. Kathie was our neighbor when we lived on the military base. She was the mother of two daughters who I often played with. She was a devoted Christian, always went to church, and seemed like an all-around good person. I thought it'd be funny to watch her get drunk, not to mention I had never seen the tape of my birthday that year. I should have never put that tape into the VCR. I should have known that, since my dad was behind the camera, that bad stuff would be happening. I fast-fowarded through the birthday party and watched the events that took place that summer night...
It started out innocent enough, Kathie was sitting on a couch with a glass of what I presumed to be wine. You could tell that it was my dad behind the camera because within the first 30 seconds, he zoomed in on her boobs. This was wrong. Where was mom? Isn't this cheating?? Hasn't she seen this tape?! As the tape progressed, so did the alcohol. My dad said something long the lines of "I've only got 15 minutes left on this battery, do something."
Peter Gabriel's 'Sledehammer' played in the background as Kathie stood up and started dancing. She just danced around for a good 5 minutes, which I soon got tired of, so I stopped the tape and fast-fowarded a little bit. My finger pressed the 'play' button on the remote, and what I saw next completely shocked me. Kathie was sitting on the couch, completely naked, legs open, drinking wine as she flirted with the camera. I was so shocked, that I kept watching... okay okay, Kathie was incredibly hot. This was wrong, where is mom? They WERE married at the time. Not to mention these actions might have had something to do with their divorce. I can't believe my own father would stoop to going over to the neighbor's house, get her drunk and proceed to film her naked. All while my mom was at home taking care of us.
The camera then panned over to the chair about 5 feet from my drunken naked neighbor. There was my mom, covering her mouth, trying to contain her laughter.
My parents were swingers.
User Reviews
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-11-06 15:51:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There's always one guy who gives it a +1.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2004-11-06 15:25:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why am I always the last person to ever review anything?
Submitted by GhostWriter (user info) at 2004-09-01 19:20:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Swingers yay! Awesome story.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-05-29 10:51:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MoonLover (user info) at 2004-03-03 03:58:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Infriggincredible. I love it!!!
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2004-02-29 19:14:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wow someone drank their haterade this morning.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-02-11 00:37:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Get the whole series!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/25125 Old Home Movies: Dad the Porno Guy
http://www.ubersite.com/m/25164 Old Home Movies: Dad the Porno Guy, Continued
http://www.ubersite.com/m/25239 Old Home Movies: Meet the Family Part 1- Aunt Tammie
http://www.ubersite.com/m/25316 Old Home Movies: Meet the Family Part 2- Drunk Mom
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-02-10 16:08:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-02-10 10:00:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
mine is JustinFromTR on AIM
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-02-10 09:57:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Steve- I have no idea how much.... it can't be all THAT expensive... but then again.. ah well
Oh, downloaded AIM, what are your screen names?
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-02-10 09:50:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
major trauma
Submitted by russizm (user info) at 2004-02-09 23:44:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesomenesity
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-02-09 22:43:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is hilarious.
Please tell me you have more stories of your parents.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-02-09 22:27:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ubernewbie, antiluvdog, skibble, acuraman, and zod...
Thanks for the BAW nominations, although I have a feeling they will go unheard.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-02-09 22:18:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was great. The punchline made me laugh out loud
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-02-09 16:29:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wait, forget it Bec. Now I understand.
How much is a call from the US to Austraulia? If its not insane, then I will give you a call, just to hear your accent. Lemme know.
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-02-09 16:09:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bec, I honestly have no idea what you're talking about. But in your next post, we'll chat it up. You need to get AIM!! If you want, i'll tell you how to get it.
Then you can chat with me and Justin for hours on end...hours!!!
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-02-09 12:29:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This absolutely deserves to be on Bored at Work.
When Rizzo nominates it, it's set in stone.
Submitted by ubernewbie (user info) at 2004-02-09 10:42:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
bored at work. that makes 4 nominations.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-02-09 10:16:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Steve- Bec wants to bone you as well as Kristen.
Take advantage of it. I smell a threesome.
You, Kristen and...
ME!
Wait, you might want to leave me out. You don't want Kristen getting pissed off again.
-Sideburns
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-02-09 09:50:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It all happened during the magical summer of 1985. A maturing Joe
Piscopo left `Saturday Night Live' to conquer Hollywood; People
Express introduced a generation of hicks to plane travel; and I was
in a barbershop quartet.
-- Homer Simpson
Homer's Barbershop Quartet
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-02-09 09:28:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hunny, you have a odd family... If I saw something like that I think I'd be moderately freaked out. I feel for you.
And Steve, how come I haven't got my cheque yet? I've been talking to you old school. Ok I'm done.... Call me!
I'm tired. Forgive me.
Submitted by Acura_Man (user info) at 2004-02-09 05:30:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
make it two nights
Submitted by Acura_Man (user info) at 2004-02-09 05:30:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ok fine... 20 bucks and i'll lend you my body for one night.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-02-09 04:55:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-02-08 23:29:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
You have some weird parents man.
I love your posts, these last two have had me cracking up.
----------------
Thanks, someone. You're not so bad yourself, skippy. *wink wink*
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-02-09 04:51:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-02-08 07:27:36 (#)
Ranking: 1
Just makes you wonder who he traded your mom for on some nights
------------------
Indeed you did. I guess you win the infamous video.
-Sideburns
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-02-09 04:41:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha! I called it!
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-02-09 03:54:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Skibble wins the bidding.
I don't need a kid right now.
Submitted by Acura_Man (user info) at 2004-02-09 03:53:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want that video too!
15 bucks and my son.
Submitted by skibble (user info) at 2004-02-09 03:51:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
and a bottle of bacardi
Submitted by skibble (user info) at 2004-02-09 03:50:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
All I've got is 12 bucks. I'll throw in ''NOW that's what i call music'' cd.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-02-09 03:49:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
$50 and a 12 pack of Heineken.
-Sideburns
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-02-09 03:48:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What the hell? You're a very sick fuck.
Submitted by skibble (user info) at 2004-02-09 03:47:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
so eh.... you've seen a video of your naked neighbor AND seen your parents have sex? ON VIDEO nonetheless?
How much do you want for it?
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-02-09 03:19:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha, I think this reply should be on BAW. You're crazy man.
Oh and, you know, sorry about all that. You can always stay at my house...but only if you bring the camera.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-02-09 03:05:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Amused- To be honest, I'm completely fine. I asked my mom about the video and she, unfortunately, told me about everything that caused the divorce. And I must say, I have some very messed up parents. Basically, my dad's perverted antics caused them alot of arguments. He would also go to Mardi Gras parades and come back with tons of pictures of nude women. Then one day, he cheated on my mother while he was on TDY(he's in the military). She found out about it, and instead of talking to him about it, she cheated on him. Who did she cheat on him with, you ask?
My karate instructor.
I have so much to learn about my past.
-Sideburns
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-02-09 01:07:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is weird stuff. I like it.
Submitted by amusediniraq (user info) at 2004-02-09 01:06:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool, swingers!
How are you through this whole thing...I mean you are probably looking at years of therapy after this.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-02-09 00:14:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skibble (user info) at 2004-02-09 00:10:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah well at least you didn't find a video tape of your parents doing the dirty deed.
+2.
Oh.. and a third nomination for bored at work.
-------------------
skibble, that's a whole other post.
..dun dun dun.
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-02-09 00:11:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well bart, whaddya say?
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-02-09 00:10:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well bart, whaddya say?
Submitted by skibble (user info) at 2004-02-09 00:10:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah well at least you didn't find a video tape of your parents doing the dirty deed.
+2.
Oh.. and a third nomination for bored at work.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-02-09 00:08:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-02-09 00:07:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I second BAW!
Submitted by Acura_Man (user info) at 2004-02-09 00:02:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's funny. It's wrong. It's dirty.
This, my friend, belongs on BORED AT WORK.
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2004-02-08 23:58:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
TV Announcer:
The following is a public service announcement: Excessive
alcohol consumption can cause liver damage and cancer of the
rectum.
Homer: Mmm ... beer.
So It's Come To This: A Simpsons Clip Show
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-02-08 23:57:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Zod...
You did send ''those'' pictures right? The ones of you and I when I last came down?
I'd like to see what my ass looks like.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-02-08 23:51:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaha
these home movie posts are great. i remember watching one of my grandfather filming my dad and uncle as kids, making a snowman. then the camera pans to the side, and he starts filming these two dogs, fucking like crazy. i laughed so hard i cried. good times....
Submitted by AnnabelLee (user info) at 2004-02-08 23:51:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sick, sick, sick.
I loved it!
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-02-08 23:48:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit, sorry. My bad. I did remember to send those naked pics of, um, not me, though. Heehee, yeah.
Submitted by Confusion (user info) at 2004-02-08 23:46:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That is just great, just great.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-02-08 23:44:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"...Your check, along with your bonus, are in the mail... "
You better have included the extra 20 bucks that you said you would for me giving you "the best orgasm i've ever had over the phone".
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-02-08 23:41:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Justin, you're so right. I have the ears of Kristen, you, Phoenix, Ashlee, Loki and Ainkara. I am quite the pimp mack daddy. Thanks for the confidence boost, man.
...Your check, along with your bonus, are in the mail...
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-02-08 23:37:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Is there something abnormal about this?
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-02-08 23:35:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just
have to read the manual and press the right button.
-- Homer Simpson
Homer Defined
Obviously.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-02-08 23:34:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is great.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-02-08 23:31:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Steve.. shutup dude. Kristen calls you and TALKS to you.
Now, if phone-boning with Kristen isn't enough, then well...
I'm free tonight.
-Sideburns
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2004-02-08 23:29:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You have some weird parents man.
I love your posts, these last two have had me cracking up.
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-02-08 23:27:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, bitch! Your crazy ass parents make me sick with envy. If my mom and dad were cool enough to film themselves and others like that, then maybe I would have grown up cool enough to have some friends. Not the ugly loser I am now.
On a totally unrelated note, who would like to be paid to talk to me? Anyone?