Brothers Must Torture Each Other. It's a Law. (2020 hits)
Category: RomanceLabels: Childhood
Rating: 1.85 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jimbo (View user info) at 2004-02-17 09:12:48 EST
I am the second oldest of four boys. I mention this by way of explaining that we tortured each other mercilessly as children. My older brother broke my wrist, I shot him with a homemade bow-and-arrow. My youngest brother busted my lip open with a swivel chair, I bashed his head in on a brick chimney. Good times all around. Of course, not all torture is physical in nature. Emotional torture is even more fun, if done properly.
My Dad is retired from the Navy, and as a retired veteran, is entitled to base priviledges, such as commisary shopping (much cheaper groceries than Kroger). When we were kids (I guess I was 14), my Mom took us to the base to get groceries. She left us at the playground out in front of the commisary, with me in charge. Mistake. My two younger brothers (ages 10 and 8 at the time) looked positively horrified that I would be put in such a position of authority.
Things started out innocently enough, with my brothers and I playing on the swings, in the sandbox, and in the trees. Then I noticed the transformer station about 30 yards away. It was a fairly small station, maybe 10 feet on a side. It was surrounded by a chain link fence, topped with barbed wire (to keep the kids out, I suppose). On the fence, on big bold yellow signs, it read "DANGER - HIGH VOLTAGE - EXTREMELY DANGEROUS". Oh, hell yes. Out popped my devil horns.
Now, I knew that the fence itself wasn't actually electrified. I mean, who would electrify a fence next to a fucking playground? Fortunately, my 10-year old brother didn't have the mental acuity that I did at the time. I said, "Hey Dave. Come check this electrified fence out."
His ears pricked up like an antelope sensing a lion on the Serengeti. His eyes narrowed. "Why do you want me to check that out?"
WHAM!! I tackled him into the sand, put him in a headlock and dragged his sorry ass over to the fence. He started crying, "What are you doing? Let me go!"
I said, "You know that if you touch an electrified fence while you're standing on the ground, you'll be electrocuted. But if you jump up in the air and touch it, your body isn't grounded, so it won't hurt." Christ, how did I keep from laughing?
"Don't make me touch it!" He was crying hysterically at this point.
"Stop crying, Goddamnit!" I must have sounded just like our Dad. I pushed him, hard, towards the fence. There was no way for him to avoid it. He was either going to hit it head first, or he was going to have to do what he did: jump onto the fence and cling for dear life. SCORE!
"Wow, Dave, that was quick thinking. You can just jump down now."
"NO!! The electricity will jump across and get me!"
"Oh my God, it will not! Just get down, you fucking retard."
"NO!!"
"Dave if you don't jump down by the count of three, I'm gonna yank your ass down! One, two.....three!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" And I screamed like I was being electrocuted.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"
There we were, me with a grip on his arm, and he screaming like a little girl. Man, that boy had a fucking death grip on that fence. I wasn't sure I'd ever get him off that bitch. Finally, he let go, and I was laughing so hard I almost threw up.
He had pissed himself.
User Reviews
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-08-09 12:10:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-10 17:56:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yup it's good
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-02-17 15:41:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You've been away too long, Jimbo. Another great post.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2004-02-17 15:20:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I grew up with younger sisters... who were twins...
I never got to torment them like I would have just a single sib or younger brothers.
I would have gotten younger brothers into a LOT of shit...
maybe that's hwy I was given sisters..
-=turtle=-
Submitted by Heimdallsman (user info) at 2004-02-17 15:07:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Another great story!
Thank god I don't had brothers...
--HeimdallsMan
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-02-17 13:24:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck, thats great
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-02-17 13:06:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are an evil evil man.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-02-17 11:51:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha! Great story. I would have left him on there.
-Sideburns
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-02-17 11:46:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh man, thats a dirty trick, i feel for him, being gullible myself.
some friends of mine once convinced me that paper doesnt exist, that
it was all a figment of my imagination. the sad part was i was in 7th
grade.
Submitted by alchemist (user info) at 2004-02-17 11:41:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As an older brother who did his fair share of nasty things, I wholeheartedly approve.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-02-17 10:39:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm the third of four and indeed, my brother (also the second of four like you) was one sick fuck.
He once force my face against a stair edge with a knee against my neck and made me eat a fuckin' huge and horribly slimmy forrest mushroom. He then made me believe that my death was imminent.
The anger of my life being taking away by my idiot brother made me rush against him for vengeance.
Since his cruelty had no limit whatsoever, he proceeded to kick my ass.
I feel your pain Dave.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2004-02-17 10:31:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this is why I hate kids.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2004-02-17 10:25:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome! I wouldn't have made it without laughing.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2004-02-17 09:38:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As eldest of 5 I can relate!