Home Schooled Kids And The Christian Youth Theater (1619 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.15 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Joe Modus <modusjoe.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-02-17 16:12:36 EST
I am in the theater. I'm not one of those werido drama freaks, mind you, but I like being in a play every now and then. So when I got an invitation to be in a show with the "Christian Youth Theater" I said ok. At first I was a little hesitant, because i'm usually not one of those hardcore ultra-religious people. But it would look good on my resume, so I signed up. Hey, it might even be fun.
It was not fun. As soon as I arrived I noticed some extremely creepy things. First of all, everyone was polite. Not just happy, making an effort, normal polite. I mean painfully, cringingly ultra-polite. Everyone smiled. They didn't laugh, really. Just smiled... politely.
The second thing was that everyone seemed like they were five year olds trapped in older bodies. All of the girls sat cross legged and played patti cake while drawing with crayons. The boys played hide and go seek and giggled in high pitched squeals, like women. When poked or shoved, they sat down and cried. Were talking like, thirteen and fourteen year old people, crying becuase someone shoved them.
I was seriously freaking out. I needed answers, and now, damnit. while I was watching this whole gruesome scene, I muttered the words "Holy Shit!" under my breath. A dead hush fell across the room. Everyone was looking at me, frozen in place with their puzzles or coloring books. Noone was smiling now. Instead, their faces were contorted into looks of deep disgust, and yes, rage.
What I didn't notice at the time was that I had inflicted not only the wrath of the home schooled kids, but the much more dreaded and diabolical home schooled kids' parents. One of them walked up to me. "How dare you utter a profanity in the lords house?" she demanded. (Just for the record we had our rehearsals in a rented warehouse.) I replied, "It's not like everyone doesn't already hear it everyday at school." She replied, in a digusted voice, "Most of these children don't go to public school. They are homeschooled." Suddenly everything started making a lot more sense.
The rehearsals continued. I guess in comparison to the other kids I messed around alot. Since I didn't have literally all day to work on memorizing my lines like the homeschooled kids did, I didn't have them memorized as fast as them. The directors weren't very pleased.
Another thing that I learned about CYT was that most of the people in it are crazy ultra conservative religious wackos. The charming director, Genna, gave a sermon about god and the theater every day at the end of rehearsal. She had a very pronounced, almost comical southern drawl, which only made these talks funnier. I literally burst out laughing during a couple of them. Here's some examples: "Noone is better than anyone else here. This production is like a football game, except there are no quarterbacks. Our quarterback is Jesus, and we all need to back him up, cause he's the best quarterback that there is." Or, my favorite: "This is called the Christian Youth Theater, not the Charles Darwin Youth Theater, becuase Charles Darwin was a loser." She even ventured so far as to suggest that "Satan" was making me forget my lines.
The worst part of these talks were that noone seemed even mildly offended. They simply sat there quietly and smiled politely. This led me to the conclusion that when you are only surrounded by one kind of idea or beleif, "in this case, far right religious fanaticism," then you will never learn how to cultivate your own ideas or opinions. And its just that kind of accepting placidity that makes America such a shitty country. Someday I hope that this tradition of opression ends. But until then, fuck you Christian Youth Theater. Fuck you.
PS: Im not trying to start some big Darwin debate here, that was just an example.
User Reviews
Submitted by Jo_of_the_golden_P (user info) at 2005-02-05 17:03:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
spooky.
Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2005-02-05 16:49:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I couldn't read all this. You bore me.
-2DIE N00B
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2005-01-31 02:34:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-01-30 19:42:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm giving you this +2 for 2 reasons... a) I liked the post, and b) the things you've said on Cancer's post.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-01-30 19:42:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm giving you this +2 for 2 reasons... a) I liked the post, and b) the things you've said on Cancer's post.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-25 16:04:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Continue ranting, my friend. It seems to be your strong point.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-03-25 18:23:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kids need to be kids, swear words and all. Damn, when I was 14 I was starting fights and looking to get laid. The brainwashed, unquestioning types you describe are sad, unfortunate relics of a bygone, idealised age. Shame, really. I bet underneath it all they're nice kids.
Submitted by Dr_Chaos (user info) at 2004-03-25 18:07:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Thanatos (user info) at 2004-02-17 22:48:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I read through this, laughed at the appropriate parts, and read the reviews mentioning how most home schooled/religious kids are just weird.
This got me thinking a little bit and wondered, "Is this really that bad?" I'm not religious, but isn't being insular somewhat better than having a baby at 12 years old like you see in middle schools and high schools across the country?
I'll admit people seem to take it to extremes, and most people that are that religious probably shouldn't be trying to teach a dog anything, much less children, but it is something to think about.
Is weird/religious/isolated worse than weird/goth/slutty, or weird/jock/date-rapist?
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-02-17 19:36:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Reminds me of my friend Jeremy. He is 16 now and I think he still likes pokemon. I once gave him a friendly jab in the arm,
"Daddy! It left a red-mark!"
Sad
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2004-02-17 18:39:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gobble gobble.
Submitted by Lucifer_Industries (user info) at 2004-02-17 18:32:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hooooray! You learned a valuable lesson, probably several while you were there. I don't need to tell you what they are, you've already figured them out. My wifes side of the family has one family that is Baptist and they homeschool thier kids. These poor children dress like businessmen at like 14, 17, and 19. They display the same sheltered behavior and talking to them gives me the creepy feeling that I'm talking to people from another planet. They don't identify with anything I have to say.
Malone
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-02-17 17:58:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
entertaining
well written too, especially if you're 14
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-02-17 17:40:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a friend who's Catholic and home-schooled. He's 22 and still in high school. Here, let me repeat that so everyone gets it: He's TWENTY-TWO (23 in May) and STILL in HIGH SCHOOL. Religion and homeschooling don't mix.
I'm glad we finally came to our senses and started worshipping a carpenter that lived 2000 years ago.
:-)
Phoenix
Submitted by Mister_Fahrenheit (user info) at 2004-02-17 17:40:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-02-17 16:49:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If you'd been with the Young Heathen Theater, they all would have been punching each other in the teeth drinking from horns
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The difference is that, that shit is fun.
GO YOUNG HEATHEN THEATRE!!!
Submitted by Heimdallsman (user info) at 2004-02-17 16:31:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, but any group is going to have it's own personality. If you'd been with the Young Heathen Theater, they all would have been punching each other in the teeth drinking from horns. You can't expect any group to go against it's instincts.
--HeimdallsMan
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2004-02-17 16:26:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-02-17 16:24:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is my worst fear.
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2004-02-17 16:21:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this. Whatever.
Submitted by russizm (user info) at 2004-02-17 16:13:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
FUCK