One Way Sign (710 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 2 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MOssiah (View user info) at 2004-02-20 05:11:17 EST
I escaped again. I was dancing alone. My eyes were closed. It was enjoyable at the time.
The sky is brightening as I walk away from the club. I am tired.
My mind is vainly attempting to think things through, but it is clouded by the flood of emotions surging through me. I breathe deeply, in the hope that the fresh air will clear my head. The alcohol that is still predominant in my system isn't helping matters, and I can't stop the rush of thoughts. They jump all over the place, like children playing "stacks on". The weaker ones are getting crushed at the bottom of the pile while the strong ones come back to plague me, asking me for answers I do not have.
It would be simpler if I could just forget. Forget everything that happened. Forget everything I felt. Forget that period of my life.
Simpler. Yes. But given the choice, I would still keep the memories. Some people hoard chocolate, others hoard old lottery tickets. My vice is memories.
The past. It no longer exists, but we still feel it. I still need it.
Nostalgia, I am your bitch.
My feet walk, oblivious of my mind's wanderings. Step by step, they dutifully take me to where they know I will be safe. My shoelaces are undone, and a small thought momentarily pops up in the mosh pit of my mind to tell me I will chafe my heels if I continue. It is soon overwhelmed by vast majority of other thoughts. It is pushed down and trodden on, while other musings crowd surf above it.
The feet stop when they reach the road, like a loyal dog that knows it's not supposed to cross without supervision. My mind pauses long enough to look around, and spots a one way sign.
I stare.
White sign. Black writing. Arrow pointed to the left.
I stand there for a full ten minutes. I calm my mind. It is like trying to close a popular pub for the night. Most of the clients are leaving, but there are a few die-hards that are almost impossible to kick out, and they won't shut up. Eventually these thoughts are dulled down.
One way.
It makes sense. Why go the other way? I'd be going against traffic. I will only be causing myself trouble going that direction. So I stand there, and tell myself I will go, one way. I will leave the other direction alone. I know I can't forget it, but I can at least choose not to travel down that path.
So I stand, looking at the sign, in the early hours of the morning. A passerby stops next to me and asks me if I'm ok. I realise how peculiar I must have appeared, just standing at the roadside, waiting to cross. There was no traffic.
She gives me a hug, and continues on her way. I steel myself and make a decision to not leave this spot. Not until I can agree with the sign, and go one way.
I finally leave, trying to convince myself that, yes, I have reached a conclusion.
It's hard to fool yourself.
I'm still standing there.
User Reviews
Submitted by MOssiah (user info) at 2004-06-10 07:07:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks Insanethemind. I haven't been here for a while now. It doesn't fulfill me the way it used to. I will occasionally have a look in and a scout around, post something up if I feel the desire, but for the most part, I am now a ghost.
You have been one of the few writers who have engaged my attention with your words. Wishing you the best for the future.
MOssiah.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-05-23 14:11:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like being able to go back and read your stuff that I've missed, from time to time when I am bored. It is always well-written and thought provoking.
Submitted by Miss_Sim (user info) at 2004-02-23 03:43:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-02-20 12:47:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice. I liked it.
Submitted by StrangeDos (user info) at 2004-02-20 12:38:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well written, and I absolutely agree with id here. For some reason well written pieces that aren't inflammatory or satirical don't get much recognition here, but this piece is one that deserves it.
Kudos to you...
Submitted by MOssiah (user info) at 2004-02-20 10:01:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you id.
That's ok. Attention and responses aren't things I crave too deeply. I've been writing lately more for my own sake than anyone elses. It's a release mechanism.
Nonetheless, I'm still glad you enjoyed it.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-02-20 09:40:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you arent going to get many responses to this, because its fairly abstract (read: i dont think i 'got' it entirely), but this is a nice piece of writing, and as such deserves more attention than it will get.
Submitted by drky (user info) at 2004-02-20 08:09:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can totally feel this at the moment
I'm kind of in a whole undecided point at the moment where i can walk left or right.
I too am still standing there...