Uber question: What would you do? (837 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.53 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ess2s2 (View user info) at 2004-02-23 01:00:30 EST
Bart, please can Ubersite have a Mayo icon?
Here are some either/or questions that have occurred to me at various random times.
What would you do given the following choices? And please, none is not an answer.
1. If you suddenly wake up as the opposite sex one morning, would you:
a) Hide out in your house all day and hope it goes away?
b) Tell only your family/closest friends and try to figure out a way to change back?
c) Play with yourself?
2. You are walking in front of the airport terminal, when you notice a $200,000 sports car next to the curb unattended with the door open and the engine idling, you:
a) Walk away, knowing full well it's owner will be back soon.
b) Jump in, grab the wheel and make car noises until the car's owner returns and glares at you.
c) Hop in, shut the door, and take off like a bat out of fucking hell, driving until you run out of gas.
3. Your friends drag you to a strip club. Your signifigant other is waiting at home under the assumption you are at the movies, would you:
a) Sit dejectedly in the back of the franchise with your drink, waiting for your friends to finish having their fun, and making up an excuse why the movie lasted four-and-a-half hours.
b) Sit with your friends and maybe stuff a dollar bill in the stripper's underwear.
c) Go buck wild and get up on stage and grind the stripper, get thrown out of the club, and try to explain why you have bruises on your hands and knees, no money left, and you smell like a stripper.
4. Your signifigant other catches you masturbating in the shower, you:
a) Jump and cover yourself like you've been shot in the ass with an air rifle.
b) Now that you're warmed up, invite them in for a little trot.
c) Yell 'Shut the Goddamned door!!' and finish yourself in peace.
5. The asskisser at your job has just gotten a promotion from your boss and has already started to gloat about it. Would you:
a) Congratulate him/her and go back home and beat up a pillow.
b) Congratulate him/her and go to the local bar where you drink yourself senseless.
c) Congratulate him/her by beating them senseless with the nearest object close at hand. (This includes TPS reports.)
6. God comes down to Earth and grants you one wish, you:
a) Wish for world peace everlasting and instantly reget your choice as soon as God disappears.
b) Wish for more wishes until you have a wish stockpile then use them all for personal and professional gain.
c) Wish you WERE God then smite all the people you've ever hated, starting with the asskisser from question five.
7. You're laying poolside at a tropical resort when an incredibly beautiful person approaches you and asks you out on a date, you realize they are a famous model or actor, would you:
a) Say yes, only they have to buy because you blew all your money on overpriced drinks and stupid souveniers.
b) Say maybe, because you've had your eye on the fat room attendant for the last few days.
c) Say not unless they give you their autograph to show to your friends and get you in the door in their particular industry.
8. You wake up one morning and find that the person you have trusted and abused for years has cut off your genitalia, they are nowhere to be found, neither is your guy/girl parts. You:
a) Go back to sleep, because it's all a horrible nightmare and everything will be okay in the morning.
b) Get up, bandage yourself up, call the police and paramedics, and start plotting your revenge.
c) Flip out.
9. Level 6 Goblins are attacking your caravan, your party consists of a Level 2 Mage, a Level 1 Warror, and a Level 2 Necromancer. You are outmatched. You:
a) Attempt a roll to flee.
b) Attempt a critical damage roll and yell at the DM for pitting you against such strong monsters.
c) Get beaten up by the group of people who hang out near the gym for the third time in one week.
10. The RIAA sends you a notice implicating you in a massive class-action lawsuit regarding the illegal download of digital music, would you:
a) Blame it on your 12-year-old little brother and tell him it's because he stole your parent's love away from you.
b) Cry like a little bitch and settle to the tune of $3,000 or more.
c) Show investigators your impressive computer porn collection and sneak out the back door while they are distracted.
My answers: 1:c, 2:b, 3:c, 4:b, 5:b, 6:c, 7:a, 8:c, 9:c, 10:c.
User Reviews
Submitted by ess2s2 (user info) at 2004-02-24 14:25:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think Hidden101 should post this under his name so it gets the hits it deserves.
Goddamnit, now I know I'm the most under the radar user.
Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2004-02-24 05:18:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
d to all, except 1 and 6 where c is the obvious answer
Submitted by SoxSexSax (user info) at 2004-02-23 14:22:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
cabcabcacc
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2004-02-23 13:43:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
1. honestly. who wouldn't play with themselves? c'mon. you'd have to be amish or something not to.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-02-23 05:41:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
1. If you suddenly wake up as the opposite sex one morning, would you:
c) Play with yourself?
2. You are walking in front of the airport terminal, when you notice a $200,000 sports car next to the curb unattended with the door open and the engine idling, you:
a) Walk away, knowing full well it's owner will be back soon.
3. Your friends drag you to a strip club. Your signifigant other is waiting at home under the assumption you are at the movies, would you:
b) Sit with your friends and maybe stuff a dollar bill in the stripper's underwear.
4. Your signifigant other catches you masturbating in the shower, you:
b) Now that you're warmed up, invite them in for a little trot.
5. The asskisser at your job has just gotten a promotion from your boss and has already started to gloat about it. Would you:
b) Congratulate him/her and go to the local bar where you drink yourself senseless.
6. God comes down to Earth and grants you one wish, you:
b) Wish for more wishes until you have a wish stockpile then use them all for personal and professional gain.
7. You're laying poolside at a tropical resort when an incredibly beautiful person approaches you and asks you out on a date, you realize they are a famous model or actor, would you:
a) Say yes, only they have to buy because you blew all your money on overpriced drinks and stupid souveniers.
8. You wake up one morning and find that the person you have trusted and abused for years has cut off your genitalia, they are nowhere to be found, neither is your guy/girl parts. You:
c) Flip out.
9. Level 6 Goblins are attacking your caravan, your party consists of a Level 2 Mage, a Level 1 Warror, and a Level 2 Necromancer. You are outmatched. You:
c) Get beaten up by the group of people who hang out near the gym for the third time in one week.
10. The RIAA sends you a notice implicating you in a massive class-action lawsuit regarding the illegal download of digital music, would you:
c) Show investigators your impressive computer porn collection and sneak out the back door while they are distracted.
Submitted by ScoutCJustice (user info) at 2004-02-23 01:43:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Uberuser, that's what apostraphes are for... like this
1. I
2. D
3. O
4. N
5. '
6. T
7. C
8. A
9. R
10.E
Submitted by ScoutCJustice (user info) at 2004-02-23 01:41:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
1. c
2. a
3. a
4. b
5. a
6. b
7. a
8. b
9. a (what can I say... I'm a pussy)
10. c
Submitted by MIll8178 (user info) at 2004-02-23 01:26:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
1. C
2. Whip it out and piss in his gas tank for having more money to blow on a fucking car than I have for a house, then offer to help him out when he has car won't start!
3. B
4. B...Happened just this afternoon actually!
5. Put gay child porn on his computer, then tip off management, saying I saw him viewing "something disturbing" when he thought nobody was looking.
6. B
7. None. Celebrities only date other celebrities. This is a stupid question.
8. How the hell did you know about that??
9. A D&D question? My answer would have to be.....Go fuck yourself!
10. B
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-02-23 01:24:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
1. If you suddenly wake up as the opposite sex one morning, would you:
a) Hide out in your house all day and hope it goes away?
b) Tell only your family/closest friends and try to figure out a way to change back?
c) Play with yourself?
C
2. You are walking in front of the airport terminal, when you notice a $200,000 sports car next to the curb unattended with the door open and the engine idling, you:
a) Walk away, knowing full well it's owner will be back soon.
b) Jump in, grab the wheel and make car noises until the car's owner returns and glares at you.
c) Hop in, shut the door, and take off like a bat out of fucking hell, driving until you run out of gas.
A
3. Your friends drag you to a strip club. Your signifigant other is waiting at home under the assumption you are at the movies, would you:
a) Sit dejectedly in the back of the franchise with your drink, waiting for your friends to finish having their fun, and making up an excuse why the movie lasted four-and-a-half hours.
b) Sit with your friends and maybe stuff a dollar bill in the stripper's underwear.
c) Go buck wild and get up on stage and grind the stripper, get thrown out of the club, and try to explain why you have bruises on your hands and knees, no money left, and you smell like a stripper.
B
4. Your signifigant other catches you masturbating in the shower, you:
a) Jump and cover yourself like you've been shot in the ass with an air rifle.
b) Now that you're warmed up, invite them in for a little trot.
c) Yell 'Shut the Goddamned door!!' and finish yourself in peace.
B
5. The asskisser at your job has just gotten a promotion from your boss and has already started to gloat about it. Would you:
a) Congratulate him/her and go back home and beat up a pillow.
b) Congratulate him/her and go to the local bar where you drink yourself senseless.
c) Congratulate him/her by beating them senseless with the nearest object close at hand. (This includes TPS reports.)
C
6. God comes down to Earth and grants you one wish, you:
a) Wish for world peace everlasting and instantly reget your choice as soon as God disappears.
b) Wish for more wishes until you have a wish stockpile then use them all for personal and professional gain.
c) Wish you WERE God then smite all the people you've ever hated, starting with the asskisser from question five.
B
7. You're laying poolside at a tropical resort when an incredibly beautiful person approaches you and asks you out on a date, you realize they are a famous model or actor, would you:
a) Say yes, only they have to buy because you blew all your money on overpriced drinks and stupid souveniers.
b) Say maybe, because you've had your eye on the fat room attendant for the last few days.
c) Say not unless they give you their autograph to show to your friends and get you in the door in their particular industry.
B
8. You wake up one morning and find that the person you have trusted and abused for years has cut off your genitalia, they are nowhere to be found, neither is your guy/girl parts. You:
a) Go back to sleep, because it's all a horrible nightmare and everything will be okay in the morning.
b) Get up, bandage yourself up, call the police and paramedics, and start plotting your revenge.
c) Flip out.
A
9. Level 6 Goblins are attacking your caravan, your party consists of a Level 2 Mage, a Level 1 Warror, and a Level 2 Necromancer. You are outmatched. You:
a) Attempt a roll to flee.
b) Attempt a critical damage roll and yell at the DM for pitting you against such strong monsters.
c) Get beaten up by the group of people who hang out near the gym for the third time in one week.
C
10. The RIAA sends you a notice implicating you in a massive class-action lawsuit regarding the illegal download of digital music, would you:
a) Blame it on your 12-year-old little brother and tell him it's because he stole your parent's love away from you.
b) Cry like a little bitch and settle to the tune of $3,000 or more.
c) Show investigators your impressive computer porn collection and sneak out the back door while they are distracted.
C
Submitted by ess2s2 (user info) at 2004-02-23 01:19:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey uberuser, the letters for choices only go as high as "C". Can't you read?
(Heavy sarcasm)
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-02-23 01:11:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Poor UberUser, 9 letters to fill 10 spots.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2004-02-23 01:07:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
c, b, b, c, c, b, a, c, a(I guess), c
Submitted by UberUser (user info) at 2004-02-23 01:07:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
10. beeyotch
Submitted by UberUser (user info) at 2004-02-23 01:06:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My awnsers:
1. I
2. d
3. o
4. n
5. t
6. C
7. A
8. R
9. E
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-02-23 01:06:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
1. If you suddenly wake up as the opposite sex one morning, would you:
a) Hide out in your house all day and hope it goes away?
b) Tell only your family/closest friends and try to figure out a way to change back?
c) Play with yourself?
C
2. You are walking in front of the airport terminal, when you notice a $200,000 sports car next to the curb unattended with the door open and the engine idling, you:
a) Walk away, knowing full well it's owner will be back soon.
b) Jump in, grab the wheel and make car noises until the car's owner returns and glares at you.
c) Hop in, shut the door, and take off like a bat out of fucking hell, driving until you run out of gas.
A
3. Your friends drag you to a strip club. Your signifigant other is waiting at home under the assumption you are at the movies, would you:
a) Sit dejectedly in the back of the franchise with your drink, waiting for your friends to finish having their fun, and making up an excuse why the movie lasted four-and-a-half hours.
b) Sit with your friends and maybe stuff a dollar bill in the stripper's underwear.
c) Go buck wild and get up on stage and grind the stripper, get thrown out of the club, and try to explain why you have bruises on your hands and knees, no money left, and you smell like a stripper.
A
4. Your signifigant other catches you masturbating in the shower, you:
a) Jump and cover yourself like you've been shot in the ass with an air rifle.
b) Now that you're warmed up, invite them in for a little trot.
c) Yell 'Shut the Goddamned door!!' and finish yourself in peace.
C
5. The asskisser at your job has just gotten a promotion from your boss and has already started to gloat about it. Would you:
a) Congratulate him/her and go back home and beat up a pillow.
b) Congratulate him/her and go to the local bar where you drink yourself senseless.
c) Congratulate him/her by beating them senseless with the nearest object close at hand. (This includes TPS reports.)
A
6. God comes down to Earth and grants you one wish, you:
a) Wish for world peace everlasting and instantly reget your choice as soon as God disappears.
b) Wish for more wishes until you have a wish stockpile then use them all for personal and professional gain.
c) Wish you WERE God then smite all the people you've ever hated, starting with the asskisser from question five.
B (I'd ask for more wishes so I could wish I had smiting powers, coz being god blowz)
7. You're laying poolside at a tropical resort when an incredibly beautiful person approaches you and asks you out on a date, you realize they are a famous model or actor, would you:
a) Say yes, only they have to buy because you blew all your money on overpriced drinks and stupid souveniers.
b) Say maybe, because you've had your eye on the fat room attendant for the last few days.
c) Say not unless they give you their autograph to show to your friends and get you in the door in their particular industry.
B
8. You wake up one morning and find that the person you have trusted and abused for years has cut off your genitalia, they are nowhere to be found, neither is your guy/girl parts. You:
a) Go back to sleep, because it's all a horrible nightmare and everything will be okay in the morning.
b) Get up, bandage yourself up, call the police and paramedics, and start plotting your revenge.
c) Flip out.
B & C
9. Level 6 Goblins are attacking your caravan, your party consists of a Level 2 Mage, a Level 1 Warror, and a Level 2 Necromancer. You are outmatched. You:
a) Attempt a roll to flee.
b) Attempt a critical damage roll and yell at the DM for pitting you against such strong monsters.
c) Get beaten up by the group of people who hang out near the gym for the third time in one week.
D: Wake up
10. The RIAA sends you a notice implicating you in a massive class-action lawsuit regarding the illegal download of digital music, would you:
a) Blame it on your 12-year-old little brother and tell him it's because he stole your parent's love away from you.
b) Cry like a little bitch and settle to the tune of $3,000 or more.
c) Show investigators your impressive computer porn collection and sneak out the back door while they are distracted.
C