Roommate Prequel #1 - Clogged Shower Drains, Disney, and Betas (1942 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.83 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Phoenix <volklcess.at.aol.com> (View user info) at 2004-02-23 14:25:02 EST
Everyone seemed to like my roommate posts pretty well, so I decided to make a prequel for roommates I had prior to the three loons I've had in the house I'm currently living in.
Here's my "roommate series" if you missed it:
Roommate #1: http://www.ubersite.com/m/22586
Roommate #2: http://www.ubersite.com/m/23228
Roommate #3: http://www.ubersite.com/m/23741
* * * * *
Anxiously I wrung my fingers in anticipation. Here I was, 17, starting college, living without my parents for the first time, and waiting to meet my first roommate who I'd share a dorm room with for 9 months. I'd talked to her on the phone a few times before and other than being extremely mechanically inclined for a girl, she seemed to fit the general definition of "norm."
What I'd gathered from talking to her was that she loved cars - every time we were on the phone there was the clank of tools, and she claimed proudly that she was working on her 'Stang - and she was a biology major. What she looked like, I had no idea. What her quirks were as far as being a roommate, I had yet to find out.
When I arrived at the small little abode we'd be sharing for the next 2 semesters, my roommate had already moved most of her stuff in and had left me a note to tell me she'd gone to lunch with her grandma, but was looking forward to meeting me later; I started unloading my boxes, hanging up my posters, and adding little knick knacks to make the uniform furniture and consistent white walls feel a little more like home.
I'd already met a few other people who lived across the hall from us when my roommate strolled in with what I assumed were her mom and her grandmother. She was short - barely even just 5 feet with ivory white skin, a nose dappled with freckles, and the thickest, longest head of dark brown hair you could imagine.
"Hi! I'm Jasmine," she said as she thrust her hand out toward me. I obediently shook it. "It's so nice to finally meet you!"
She was effervescent, outgoing, fun-loving, and a complete pain in the ass to live with. The first couple weeks went by without a hitch - I thought I'd been lucky, that the University had actually gone through those silly personality tests they make you fill out to "accordingly match you with your best roommate" and found the most compatible roommate for me. We always went to the Dining Commons together, shared juicy gossip with one another, walked downtown together to get away from the campus for a while; yup, a month into the first semester of college I was convinced that Jasmine and I were going to be the best of friends.
Things didn't go haywire all at once - they got progressively worse as the school year dragged on. It started with the fish. We weren't allowed to have pets in the dorm with the exception of fish in a tank that didn't exceed 30 gallons. Jasmine had a beta. But one just wasn't enough, I guess because she got another beta, and since betas are Chinese fighting fish and will kill each other if kept in a tank together, she got a second little tank along with the second beta. Then two wasn't enough, so she went and got a third beta with a third tank. She loved her three stupid fish in their three separate tanks - in fact, she loved them so much, she decided that they were perfectly content to keep the same water in their tanks forever.
Then she started borrowing my clothes. It didn't matter at first, she was always nice about it, always asked if it was okay if she wore one of my shirts, but then she'd just take. I'd run into her on campus and she'd be wearing one of my shirts, and I was able to shrug it off - after all, I did have far more than one shirt in my wardrobe, and it never happened that she was wearing the particular shirt *I* wanted to wear that day; however, it did pose a problem when she'd toss my shirts in her dirty laundry pile only to hang them back up in my closet, soiled and wrinkled, a week later.
The obsession with Disney movies was in a league all its own - I could never expect to come home after a grueling day of classes and relax in my room watching some TV; I'd always be forced to lay on uncomfortable couches in the student lounge unless I wanted to watch "Milan" or "Pocahontas" or "The Little Mermaid" or "The Lion King" or "Pinocchio," etc. for the umpteenth-billion time.
Her thick head of hair relentlessly clogged our shower drain (yes, I was lucky enough to live in a dorm where every room had its own bathroom), and for some reason, I was always the one who got stuck cleaning the bathroom, pulling out long, slimy clumps of dark brunette strands. Nauseating wasn't quite the right word for it....
She had a handful of trinkets that were unique to her persona: Hawaiian sarongs, a deck of cards with naked men on them, a slew of candles and incense, a set of Tarot cards, and a chant music CD that she'd always listen to full volume regardless of my requests for her to please turn it down or at least let's pop in a CD that we can both agree on.
Her boyfriend was her polar opposite - about 6' 2 and easily pushing 250 lbs, if not more. We had a "system" worked out where if ever there was a rubber band wrapped around the door handle, we'd know to buy some time elsewhere while waiting for the elastic to disappear from the door knob (this works much better than putting a big "X" on the white board outside your room - from personal experience, most people know what it means and find it funny to erase it). From the day we discovered this practically no-fail system, I was but hardly ever allowed admittance into our dorm room again. Pffftt, who needs to get into their room to get books for class or studying or just to kick back and relax when Jasmine and her boyfriend were knocking boots? Ew.
When the semester ended and I helped Jasmine load all of her boxes into her boyfriend's truck, our goodbye consisted of a curt handshake and a, "Well, I guess I'll see you around campus next year." I went from my initial thoughts that we'd be great friends to pure relief at bidding her adieu when the semester finally came to a close. I haven't spoken to her since, not even a friendly e-mail or a phone call to say we should meet up for coffee and catch up just for old time's sake.
Good riddance.
User Reviews
Submitted by canuckistan (user info) at 2004-02-27 23:24:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ewew the skanky roomies gotta hurt YUK
Submitted by smokymtcsw (user info) at 2004-02-27 15:07:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, I enjoyed coming back from a brief uber hiatus and having several nice posts from you to read. Cleaning other peoples hair from the drain is disgusting. I am so glad I have a maid now.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-02-23 19:20:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
At least she wasn't Bulgarian.
I'll explain someday...
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-02-23 16:04:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My first roommate freshman year of college...dear lord.
Thank God he never came back second semester, or i'd be in jail right now.
Mooch, Lazy, Zero Hygiene...nuff' said.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-02-23 15:53:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I had a ghey roommate for a while. To this day I become violent when I so much as see the dvd box for a musical.
I'm singing in the rain
Just singing in the rain
What a glorious feeling
I'm happy again
I'm laughing at clouds
So dark up above
'Cause the sun's in my heart
And I'm ready for love
Let the stormy clouds chase
Everyone from the place
Come on with the rain
I've a smile on my face
I'll walk down the lane
With a happy refrain
'Cause I'm singing
Just singing in the rain.
Is it stuck in anyone's head now?
I hope so FEEL MY PAIN.
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2004-02-23 15:52:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm sorry to ruin your ratings, but is that it? I was expecting something better or a least more of a story, not just a tally of her peculiarities, which weren't that peculiar.
Submitted by Goldneyes (user info) at 2004-02-23 15:47:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're scaring me with all these roommate posts. I'm moving in with 2 new girls I dont really know next month. I'll have my own bathroom and stuff, but you're still scaring me!
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-02-23 15:26:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
RB - Where's my hate post?
---------------------------------------------------------
I got sunburned yesterday and im cranky so i couldnt conjour up the necessary drive to make a post today. It would have involved you, kristen, and sideburns.
The major themes consisted of:
A) Comparing you three to AOL 14 year old chatters.
B) The fact that sideburns, will never, have sex with either of you. Ever.
C) Sideburns is that guy that hangs out with the two pretty chicks but never hooks up with them. Ever.
D) Probably a mention of you living in Nevada and therefore are a prostitute.
E) Kristen's entire surrogate mother shit. Involving but not limited to, The kids name sounds like a bottled water company, she must live in white trash world for a friend to ask you to watch their kid while they go to jail, and the fact that nobody cares about her kid story.
If somebody wants to run with those ideas. Its all yours.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2004-02-23 15:24:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good read,
not so much of a horror as current one....
I still feel for ya though babe..
-Turtle
Submitted by LacyFace16 (user info) at 2004-02-23 15:24:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
maybe i'll make reno my next stop. i already booked my auto train to florida! but there's always summer time!
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-02-23 15:19:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Then dammit, Michelle! Move to Reno! I need girlfriends in this forlorn town anyway...
:-)
Submitted by LacyFace16 (user info) at 2004-02-23 15:16:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you have no idea how many memories this brings back of my freshmen year roommate from hell...who later turned out not to be so bad...
i love these trips down memory lane.
see, Erika, I told you. You need me to move out to Reno. you won't have to write bad roommate posts ever again!
-Michelle
Submitted by Bob_Bank (user info) at 2004-02-23 15:06:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
having roomates sucks. "music we can both agree on" always means their crap. when they don't pay up I usually have to fight the urge to crack their skull. I learned to drive courtesy of a roomate. he had a broken beer bottle. he said drive, I drove. so yeah, roomates suck.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-02-23 15:04:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
can you post again with some more pictures!?!?
please. i need it.
Submitted by SpecialKR4 (user info) at 2004-02-23 14:56:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was great!!! My senior year I had a roomate who wore my clothes without asking and then put them into my laundry basket to be washed. She wore my expensive perfume so much that all my friends thought I had borrowed some of hers. Eventually she even slept with my boyfriend, on my futon with my blankets and pillows....
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-02-23 14:55:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd say I feel badly for you... but I can't. Having a crappy roommate in University is an experience that everyone should go through.
Your experience doesn't even sound all too terrible. My freshman year, I was unlucky enough to live in a triple room about the size of your average linen closet. My two roommates were seemingly normal, except for a few terrible quirks. One of them, figured himself quite the heavyweight drinker, and so he'd go out and polish off a whole bottle of beer by himself and then proceed to vomit all over the room. It was especially fun to clean that up after he passed out in a pool of it.
The other guy liked to watch TV loudly while others were trying to sleep. He was 6'8 so I learned to fall asleep with TV on in the background.
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-02-23 14:52:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
RB - Where's my hate post?
:-)
Phoenix
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-02-23 14:48:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
One of my roommates had a huge fishtank. Orinally we just had an Gar in it. (It looks like a mini-barricuda) Then we thought he was lonely so we got some pirana. Oh boy. Fun shit. We use to put betas in there and see how long they last.
32 seconds was the quickest.
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-02-23 14:44:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I used to have a beta named Felix, but I gave him to my neighbor when I moved in with my boyfriend, so I don't know how he is anymore.
I wanna know the *one* reason you got a beta, Kwisten! You can e-mail me in secret if you don't wan anyone else to know...
:-)
Phoenix
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-02-23 14:43:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My freshman year roommate was short too! Weird.
I change my beta's - Tipsy - water every week, on Sunday, at the same time that I water my plants. He is frisky.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-02-23 14:36:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My roomie now does the clothes thing. She'll borrow a top and then give it back to me, in need of a dry-cleaning.
But LORD would the fish thing have pissed me off. You HAVE to change their water, and you HAVE to make sure the water is a constant temperature. I love my beta fish. I only bought it for one reason, and I'm too ashamed to share that reason with anyone, but I do like the thing now.
You and I shoulda been roomies! How normal and considerate and awesoem would that have been?!