Senator Zell Miller and the Case of the Philosophical Spiderman (971 hits)
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Submitted by Gent (View user info) at 2004-02-24 14:14:25 EST
The notion that Washington and Hollywood make strange bedfellows was essentially destroyed back in 1980 when Ronald "Bedtime for Bonzo" Reagan took over the White House. Of course, this opened the door to a stream of entertainment politicians, from wrestling strongman Jesse "the Body" Ventura, to Sonny Bono to current California Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger. So strong has the push become to turn our stars into politician, that Sen. Orrin Hatch is trying to pass a Constitutional amendment that will allow Schwarzenegger and other foreign-born citizens to become President. This movement to put celebrities in public office has culminated in the FOX corporation's proposal to create a reality show in the likeness of 'American Idol' that would select a Presidential candidate, rather than a pop star. Although this idea was eventually abandoned, it would not be surprising to see it re-surface in time for the 2008 election, assuming reality shows are in vogue, and Ben Affleck has determined that he has conquered Hollywood, and wants to tackle the White House.
But what really hit home for me was an exchange I had with Georgia Senator Zell Miller. CBS had proposed a reality show that would send an Appalachian family to live in Beverly Hills... a real life "Beverley Hillbillies". Miller issued a statement condemning CBS, saying the show is, "bigotry for big bucks," and that it will reinforce the negative view that this country has for hillbillies. He is, after all, in his own words, "a United States Senator who happens to be a hillbilly."
So Sen. Miller chose his battle, focusing his attentions on CBS and reality television rather than focusing on an exploding deficit, the war in Iraq, or any of the myriad problems that threaten our economy or national security. In a letter to the Senator, I expressed this very sentiment:
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Senator Miller:
As a citizen that adheres himself to the principles of the Democratic Party, I take exception to your recent efforts to quell production of a television program being proposed by CBS. Despite the personal interest you may have in the matter, as an elected representative of the state of Georgia, it seems in the best interests of your constituents to focus on matters of greater importance. This is truly a crucial time in our nation's history, and it is imperative that our elected officials fight for the principles of our party. I do not believe a television program is a cause worth fighting for.
Respectfully yours,
Gent
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I expected the correspondence to end there; but the next day, I was pleasantly surprised to receive Senator Miller's response:
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Dear Gent:
Thank you for taking an interest in my efforts regarding CBS and their proposed television program. As an elected representative of the people of Georgia, I have been charged to defend the best interests of my constituents. This television show threatens to cast many of these people in a degrading light, which certainly does not represent their best interests. I am responsible for upholding the dignity of the people I represent. As Socrates once said, "With great power comes great responsibility." This is a notion that I hold dear in my heart as I continue to challenge issues that threaten to damage the reputation of the people of Georgia.
Best regards,
Senator Zell Miller
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Although it had the appearance of a satisfactory response to my concerns, something bothered me about the letter. As a student of philosophy, I could not remember Socrates uttering the line, "With great power comes great responsibility." But, since the matter of Sen. Miller and CBS was quickly escaping my conscience, I didn't think much more about it.
A few weeks passed, and I was at a friend's house watching television. HBO was showing 'Spiderman' on television, and because of Kirsten Dunst in the rain, we were watching it for the 12th time. As I watched Uncle Parker give Peter advice in the car, something familiar was said: "With great power comes great responsibility." Suddenly, I leapt from my chair and start screaming at the television. "That fucker... that wasn't Socrates, it was Uncle Fucking Parker." I realized that Sen. Miller had a bit of an infatuation with all things Hollywood, and I immediately began penning another letter addressing this new concern:
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Senator Miller:
I appreciate you taking the time to answer my initial letter; I realize that you are a busy man. However, certain things have come to light that damage the credibility of your response. I believe that you know as well as me that Socrates did not write the quote that you attributed to him, but rather it came from the film 'Spiderman'. With all due respect, I believe that you have a small infatuation with the world of entertainment. Assuming the rest of your letter reflected your true feelings, I do not believe that your devotion to Hollywood represents the best interests of the people of Georgia.
Respectfully,
Gent
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Three days pass, and a letter arrives from the office of the Senator.
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Dear Gent,
Thank you for your letter and for calling attention to the error I made in misattributing the quote. Regardless of whom the author of the wisdom was, it does not change the fact that it is an ideal that I strongly believe in. There is great responsibility in holding public office, and I refuse to take this responsibility lightly. I do not, as you have indicated, have a, "small infatuation with the world of entertainment." While it is true that I do keep abreast of the world of entertainment, the main purpose for this is to remain aware of the interests of the people I represent. Popular culture is important to the public, and if I lose track of this, I risk becoming out of touch with my constituents. Now with all due respect, I feel as if I have invested far too much time and energy in this correspondence. As you indicated in your first letter, this truly is a trivial matter. And as we have a habit of saying here in Georgia, "Get busy living, or get busy dying." And now I must busy myself with my commitment to the people of Georgia.
Best regards,
Senator Zell Miller
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This time, it didn't take me a few weeks, I recognized instantly that the ol' Georgia quote was actually spoken by Red, in the movie 'The Shawshank Redemption'. I was tempted to write the Senator again, and point out this second error, but I realized that it was best to let the issue die. And I just know that his response would've contained the line, "We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests," that he would've most definitely attributed to Winston Churchill instead of President Whitmore from 'Independence Day'.
Initially, this story ended with the last paragraph. But as I was writing this, another disturbing story came to light that essentially validated this entire piece. Today a Presidential caucus is taking place in Hawaii. Although Hawaii has never been known as a hotbed for political thought (this is evidenced by the fact that Dennis Kucinich is ahead in the polls), it is comforting to assume that they have at least a passing interest in who will represent the Democratic party in the upcoming national election. But early reports are indicating that voter turnout is going to be historically low this year, because Maui resident Camile Velasco is appearing as a contestant on 'American Idol' this evening. It is in this story that I arrive at the crux of my argument... it is no longer appropriate to assume that politics and entertainment don't mix... in fact, they mix all too well. It's just now, entertainment dictates our politics. President Affleck? It no longer seems out of the question.
User Reviews
Submitted by Gent (user info) at 2004-05-17 16:47:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Senator Zell Miller: "The two times I think I have been most humiliated in my life was standing in a big room, naked as a jaybird with about fifty others and they were checking us out, now that was humiliating. It was humiliating showering with sixty others in a public shower. It didn't kill us did it? No one ever died from humiliation."
There is a lot that can be said about this stupid comment, but I think it's safe to say that Senator Miller has a small dick.
This just reinforces my hypothesis... Zell Miller is an asshole.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-04-05 16:23:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I missed this before! Good work, funny as hell.
Submitted by Gent (user info) at 2004-03-23 20:59:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, a second review. And this is one of my favorite things I've written too. And it's only partly fiction. But don't feel bad for Zell Miller... the man's an asshole.
Submitted by smokymtcsw (user info) at 2004-03-23 19:07:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well written fiction
Submitted by Bob_Bank (user info) at 2004-02-24 14:56:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm surprised, your representative seems to actually care about his constituancy. The quotes you misinterpreted were borrowed for the movies in which you saw them. Perhaps a letter of encouragement for the issues you would like addressed would be more appropriate than a chastisement over who said what. Politics and celebrity mix and match as you have noticed, and your rep might just have been looking for publicity, but honestly, georgia? One of my least favorite states.