i'm not gay - or - why I like to pull down my pants, wait for my dick to get hard, shove it up another man's anus, thrust in and out until I explode between his meaty cheeks then suck it all out with a spoon and spit it into his mouth (2519 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.06 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by squattail (View user info) at 2004-02-24 20:12:50 EST
I'm not gay. This is the simple truth of the matter. For example, the other night I was at a popular heterosexual bar, and this real hot chick was sitting at the bar a couple seats away from me. She came over and we started talking, and she started hinting that we might hook up at her place. Being the model straight-man that I am, I said no. I mean, I am straight as any skyscraper excluding world trade centre, but I had to explain that she was just not what I was looking for at this particular time, so instead I opted for the greasy looking homosexual gigolo I had seen hanging around the bar's toilets earlier that night. How manly was that of me? How heterosexual of me, to have such firm male pride as to turn down even that hot chick.
The other thing I am sick of is all these judgemental religious types who classify me as gay just by my actions. I mean, just because I jack off in front of my male friends, that is just what regular guys do, you know? It doesn't make me less of a man. Plenty of straight guys do it, just because it is perfectly normal and a good way for males to bond.
Even worse are the actual queers. I go to a gay bar and not five minutes pass before some dirty, sub-human faggot tries to solicit my man-juice. Jesus christ, hello? Just because I go to a gay bar wearing only my handle-bar mustache and hot-pink g-string, you think that makes me queer? You think I am putting myself on the man-train express to Brown Town? Not everyone has their minds in the gutter like you filthy homos.
You filthy queers, you bible bashers, you are too quick to judge. You classify me just by the way I dress. Just by the way I walk, talk and act. Well excuthe me, thomebody hath thome waking up to do, we aren't living in the middle ageth anymore, for Pete'th thake.
User Reviews
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-07-17 20:42:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by konohasaiyajin (user info) at 2007-01-01 19:39:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for the title being so funny.
-1 because the ending was kinda lame.
Submitted by kybernetikum (user info) at 2006-06-01 20:39:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty on the point
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-01 12:41:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nominated for best ever
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88623
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-24 17:13:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-03-03 21:18:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This was pure shit.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-03-03 21:15:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is top shelf.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-07-09 16:00:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm not gay - or - why I like to pull down my pants, wait for my dick to get hard, shove it up another man's anus, thrust in and out until I explode between his meaty cheeks then suck it all out with a spoon and spit it into his mouth (666 hits)
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2004-10-29 00:42:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Classic title.
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-07-08 07:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
86621
Submitted by DraconianKing (user info) at 2004-03-31 00:06:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This was actually funny.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-03-30 23:59:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-02-25 11:44:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by fatflaver (user info) at 2004-02-25 11:42:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i have a boner and it needs sucking
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-02-25 11:28:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry, I'd give this -2 to my own mother. Especially if she had the handle-bar mustache.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2004-02-25 09:41:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm not sure if this is meant to be satire, simple humour or a pained rant. What it defintely is, though, is a load of crap. Next, please.
Submitted by cabbageking (user info) at 2004-02-25 09:22:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i dint read this, but i liked the title!
Submitted by cigar (user info) at 2004-02-25 03:55:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
you SUCK
Submitted by Zeccs (user info) at 2004-02-24 20:31:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I didn't think it was as bad as all the other shitty stuff you've written, so i'll give you -1
Submitted by enraged_baboon (user info) at 2004-02-24 20:30:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-02-24 20:28:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You called?
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-02-24 20:14:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This post was ghey.