casting call: suckers of SATANS COCK (653 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.8 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by citizenabovesuspicion (View user info) at 2004-02-26 22:21:39 EST
OPEN CASTING CALL (corner of 26/Broadway, Hellfire and Brownstone)
SATAN is looking for some new models/actors in NYC--ONE NIGHT ONLY. Accepting headshots, handjobs, and YOUR SOUL in exchange for careers in entertainment. Dress trendy! Drinks: $15. FREE METHAMPHETAMINE!
A few past clients: Jennifer Lopez, the cast of Friends, Carson Daly, Tony Danza, the Baldwins (minus Alec), Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, cast members of "The Apprentice", cast members of all "Survivor" seasons, cast members of all "Big Brother" seasons, cast members of all "Joe Millionaire" seasons, every individual involved with "Temptation Island", every cast member of MTV's "Real World"/"Road Rules" and subsequent challenge programs, Ben Affleck, Anna Nicole Smith, OJ Simpson, every individual involved in "Average Joe", Colin Farrell, Rosie O'Donnell...so many more.
We're located in the BASEMENT of CLUB BURNING INFERNO
LADIES: Be prepared to meet BEEZLEBUB himself where you can trade in your WalMart looks and saggy tits dumpy ass for a size -2; all it takes is a suck on the UNDERLORD'S RED HOT FIREPOKER and the forfeiture of YOUR SOUL.
GENTS: You can meet LUCIFUS also, but you still have to suck the DARK KING'S PITCHFORK. 70% of you guys are homos anyway. And of course, you must RELINQUISH YOUR SOUL. But think of the return: a full head of hair, a huge cock, and 'roid ripped abs. Dude!
BRING IT ON FUCKERS! NO MORE WAITING TABLES! NO MORE INDY FILMS OR JAPANESE FOOD ADS! YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO KISS ASS FOR A NO-PAYING GIG AS AN EXTRA ON THIRD WATCH! THIS IS THE LAST COCK YOU'LL EVER HAVE TO SUCK IN THIS LIFETIME!
ITS THE OPPORTUNITY OF MANY LIFETIMES OVER!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-02-27 09:49:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Good idea, poorly done.
U R SOFA KING WE TODD IT
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-02-27 01:32:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahahaha
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-02-26 23:19:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
oh dear
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-02-26 22:27:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Lucifus?
Why did I click this?
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-02-26 22:25:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This was such a great article, please, take this +2 and my newfound respect towards you.