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the great reducer (336 hits)

Category: None

Rating: -0.25 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by citizenabovesuspicion (View user info) at 2004-02-27 18:18:53 EST


I moved to NYC month ago and have been job hunting and gathering. Actually, no gathering yet, just a lot of interviews that have yet to produce. I've been reduced to menial data entry/ coding for the Enron cases through a fucking temp agency. Game over.
Its tough. Its those goddamn interviews; I get too nervous, talk too fast.
Everyone's got a way to deal with interview nerves. The most common is tactic is The Great Reducer. That is, every person on Earth, Bill Gates, Hillary Clinton, whoever, is reduced to the simplest animal function: shitting. So yea, that arrogant human resources dick asking you to roleplay how you would deal with broken protocol, he was sitting on the can for 30 minutes this morning reading People while his third wife was screaming at the new stepkids.
My roommate insists you must keep The Great Reducer in mind before any interview. Reduce them to the animals they are. Break it down.
It's especially important in NYC, where everyone is sizing you up. Walk around for half an hour and there they are: better looking, smarter, taller, richer, better educated. And there are those lower on the chain than you: homeless people, schizoids, cashiers, Starbucks employees. Its all relative, but there's always somebody better.
But remember, even for that gorgeous 5'10" blonde hardbody who you'll never have, it comes down to SHIT.
Fuck interviews, fuck data entry, keep playing your bass, painting, writing. It's the only way to survive.
LIVE FREE OR DIE.

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User Reviews


Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-02-27 20:09:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

peddle your pathetic white ass for quick cash . loser!

Submitted by RandytheHelpfulPineapple (user info) at 2004-02-27 19:46:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

I got confused, then I recognized the Great Reducer, then I got confused again.

I always imagine that at some point in that person's life they had really bad diharea.

Submitted by Thunderlips (user info) at 2004-02-27 18:54:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

No Comment

Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-02-27 18:42:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

get a little high before an interview... it'll keep you from talking too fast... yeah.


That's fine for you, Marge. But I used to rock and roll all night and
party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can
find half an hour a week in which to get funky. I've got to get out of
this rut and back into the groove!

-- Homer Simpson
Homerpalooza