The Commonsense Manifesto (684 hits)
Category: Politics -> LibertariansRating: 1.2 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by K.M (View user info) at 2004-02-28 17:59:02 EST
The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles.
In the earlier epochs of history, we find almost everywhere a complicated arrangement of society into various orders, a manifold gradation of rank. However, in the past one hundred years, we see how society has more and more split into two increasingly hostile classes.
The intelligent, and the stupid.
Our epoch, the epoch of the stupid, shows, however, this distinctive feature: it is not only socially _accepted_ to be stupid, but wholeheartedly _encouraged_.
Superbowl Sensationalism. Dashboard Confessional. Suburbanite "Gangstas". Tricked out Honda Civics. "My milkshake is better then yours." Tricked out 12 year old girls. "Wemyn". "Metrosexuals". The New York City Mayors Office. "Iraq has weapons of mass destruction." "Reverse" Racism. People who sue after pissing on the third rail. People who sue after spilling coffee on themselves. People who sue after breaking into a house in the dead of night, robbing the place blind, and skinning a knee on the broken window on the way out. People who cash in on their children being sexually molested by superstars, when they deserve to be made the cell block sushi in jail.
....Ahem.
DoubleWide trailers with satellite dishes. "Air Farce Wonnnnnns". "ABORTION KILLS CHILDREN!" Al Sharpton. Grande Lattes. Mike Tyson. "NO FEAR!" Pseudo intellectual psychology majors. Pokemon. Bouncin', Off the (H....). For shizzle. chillaxin. Sup dawg? Rollin on dubs. Jennifer Lopez......... Ben Affleck...... Gigli. "HOW TO PLEASE YOUR MAN- ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND, SIX HUNDRED AND FORTY TWO _NEW_ SEXY TIPS!" The National Inquirer. "Bat Boy." "These are... The Days of Our Lives." "DO THE DEW!" "The Rock Says...." Paul Martin.
Sigh....
George W. Bush.
The intelligent person has been suppressed, repressed, oppressed.
Depressed.
The stupid have systematically latched their ignorant claws around every aspect of daily existence. The intelligent person is slowly smothered to a screaming, miserable, intellectual death. Each day is metaphorically more pressure to the pillow of ignorance over their sleeping face. Subsequently, they are left with two options.
1. Submit, and be assimilated into the veritable ocean of idiocy.
2. Revolution, Motherfuckers.
It is simple. Here is K.M's Ten Point Plan.
1) Abolition of property in land and application of all rents of land to intelligent purposes.
2) A heavy progressive or graduated fucking ass kicking for anyone who listens to Emo.
3) Abolition of all rights for Justin Timberlake to continue breathing.
4) Confiscation of the property of all complete fucking morons.
5) Centralization of every racist fuck in the world (___all__ colours and creeds) onto "ignorant cocksucker island", for the only reality television show worth watching.
6) Centralization of the Bush Administration into the deepest, darkest, abortion permitting, mixed race marriaging, same sex legalizing, anti gun legislating, conservative hell ever imagined.
7) Write a letter to Canada requesting the Bush administration be permanently incarcerated in the country.
8) Equal Liability for all corporate fraud masterminds. Kenneth Lay gets absorbed by a mass of jellyfish at Seaworld.
9) Gradual abolition of the distinction between, "Emo" and "Screamo" because everybody who listens to that shit will have received a heavy progressive or graduated fucking ass kicking.
10) Free education for all children in public schools. Real public schools. By real teachers. With real textbooks. Not pizza hut menus.
This is to be a fierce struggle, as the congenitally stupid will not relinquish the world from their clutches as easily as one might imagine. Join the commonsensist party nearest you, UNITE, and fucking FIGHT for your slowly dying braincells.
User Reviews
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-02-29 12:20:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the idea of having to pass a common sense test in order to reproduce. It would stop stupid people from breeding new stupid people.
But seeing as how the world's intelligent population is decreasing at an alarming rate, the above procedure might completely destroy the entire human race. Oops.
Submitted by Thanatos (user info) at 2004-02-29 11:30:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
1) Abolition of property in land and application of all rents of land to intelligent purposes.
What?
I'm still trying to figure out what the fuck you meant by this.
Submitted by arcane (user info) at 2004-02-29 02:21:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
HEY I LIKE EMO! Ok I know I'm alone on this one. But... You cant just... *Runs in corner and cradles emo CDs*
Submitted by Murphy1844 (user info) at 2004-02-28 20:07:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Sounds like you just finished reading a little Marx.
IMO, you're dissapointed because you're still somewhat optimistic (though you may deny this) and you're experiencing dissapointment. There's a way OUT, my friend. Chuck Palahniuk, author of Fight Club, says in one of his books:
He says, hope is just a phase.
I laughed when I read that. No wonder newspapers call him America's Favorite Nihilist.
Chin up and take care,
Murphy
Submitted by triliad (user info) at 2004-02-28 18:52:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot 'pot-smoking' when you were talking about Canada.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-02-28 18:32:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHAHA, for some reasons libertarians always make me laugh. Good pick of a category.
Submitted by Dragon (user info) at 2004-02-28 18:14:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Have another +2 since I myself am Socialist/(light)Communist, and loved the layout.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-02-28 18:06:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-02-28 18:06:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yer a modern day Che.
Submitted by Dragon (user info) at 2004-02-28 18:04:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A specter is haunting America, it is the specter of stupidity.