I Want To Be A Selfish and Jealous Bastard Too! (1118 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: 1.19 on 37 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by polyamorousaj <thexmangambit.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-02-29 21:09:48 EST
Well, I was debating with myself about whether I actually wanted to go through with this post, adn Justin talked me into it. That being said, if you want to take a look at the post that has spawned this one, here's the link (*Note, I'm not being a hit whore, it would just help put things into perspective). http://www.ubersite.com/m/26583
This post, like many others that I have written, was fun for me to write, and I didn't write it so much for my enjoyment as for other users' enjoyment. If clicking links contained in posts is against your Über-morals and/or religion then I will put it into context. This post had 30 reviews posted on it, all +2's. Then, we had this submission by a Random Joe...
Submitted by cabbageking at 2004-02-29 18:54:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
hahah, just to mess up ur "score"
Now, I'm not sure if this was just an ironic joke from a regular user trying to be a smartass, or just an idiot who didn't know how the site worked- whatever. The important thing was that the score didn't count. As the post got more and more reviews, it was creeping up the Best Ever list and into the fourth position on that list. Naturally, I was a little bit stoked. Having yourself immortalized on that page is one of the greatest honors, in my opinion, and is better than just making the most heated list (which I have fun trying to do, too).
At this point, I'm thinking to myself, "Wow, I only have to get 11 more reviews to take over the top spot on the list. Do I do anything about it?" I didn't. I'll be honest, looking at that list and seeing how close I was to the top made me feel like giving those posts ones. Did I do it? No. I have too much respect for someone who can get that many +2's in a row and I'm not petty. If I were, I would have given those a zero and pretended I forgot to rate or just replied to my own post enough times to take over the spot.
After a few 2's from Sideburns, I got this reply:
Submitted by Skware (user info) at 2004-02-29 19:07:28 (#)
Ranking: 1
makes sense to me
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Makes sense to you, huh? So if it makes so much sense for people being allowed to fuck and marry animals, why not give the person who posted a +2 for even thinking of it? Why not? Because people are petty. People want to be the one to ruin something. I don't know how many times I've been at the beach and thought to myself, "Look at that little kid's sand castle... it's so fragile, so beautiful, I would love to smash it to fucking pieces." Have I? Once or twice, but only with relatives and friends. But smashing something that is going to disintegrate into nothing in a day is different than shitting all over someone's hard work that could be recorded for weeks to come.
After seeing that +1 I wanted to kick something. I would have, but I wear a size 14 and if I did, that thing would break or go flying and break something else. My first thought was, "Fucking NEWBIES!" because the newbies are the easiest ones to blame when something goes wrong. So, I checked the user info, and this is what I came up with:
Everything you ever wanted to know about Skware
User id: 3495
Registered on or around: 2003-11-08 14:30:16
# Messages posted: 3
# Reviews written: 4
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 19
# Hits: 281
Average rating of all messages: -0.55
____________________________________________________
I know what you're thinking, "Who does this asshat think he is? Who cares about user id and all this shit? Fuck him, I'm dropping the -2 on him." Well, my problem is that this person is 2000 users older than me. They've only written four reviews? How the fuck do I get the unlucky pleasure of being one of those four? I don't care if someone doesn't post often or write very many reviews, but if you've only done four reviews, why would you let one of them ruin a perfect score?
Another example comes from Sidebuns' "It's Going to be a Long Night" post, which also had a perfect rating before this:
Submitted by pizzahut (user info) at 2004-02-29 05:38:13 (#)
Ranking: 1
Actually +2 but I will have to do this because Nator was too much of a pussy, and because I am a cunt
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Okay, if you want to be a cunt, do it in your posts, don't ruin something just to ruin it. I've been pondering what goes through the minds of these individuals for a while now, and I've narrowed it down to two things, a) they're jealous that they've never had a post get anywhere near that much acclaim, and b) it's just plain fun to ruin somebody's perfect score.
Well, I've decided that since I no longer have a perfect score, I'm jealous of those that do, and I'm going to go try and ruin everyone's shit and -2 everything ahead of me. For one thing, it will be fun to see the success of other people go down the shitter, and for another, it will move my post back up the list. It's win-win for me!
Honestly, if you don't feel that a post is worthy of a +2, don't give it one, but if you're just going to try and ruin perfect posts when you come across them, then you can cram it with walnuts, ugly. These are the same people that key peoples' cars just because they're nicer than theirs. People like this have no business living. I know I'm not the first person to get a post ruined and I know I won't be the last, but it doesn't excuse it from happening. I know I've probably lost all of you by now, so I'm just going to end it with a picture expressing how I feel right now.
User Reviews
Submitted by HawkeyesTheGAME (user info) at 2004-10-23 19:17:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by eIectrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2004-10-23 19:01:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're a habit I'd like to kick - with both feet.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-03-01 21:35:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, you said everything I thought in a hell of a lot less time.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-03-01 20:55:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it's shit like this that made me lose my Ubersite addiction. of course that's always been around, but it happens on almost every post now. there's nothing wrong with having an opinion, even if it is wrong (definition of a wrong opinion- anything that does not correspond with my beliefs). if someone writes a post that everyone gave a +2 except you because you just didn't like it, that's fine. but i've grown quite sick of the immaturity that grows at an exponential rate around here, and one thing that makes me shy away from Ubersite, probably the biggest reason besides the fact that i have more of a life lately, is the kids here just trying to be shit disturbers. it certainly has become quite a task to root through all the bullshit to find something entertaining and worth reading.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-03-01 20:24:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, if it wasn't for that one one and a -2 I got from Rufus out of spite I would have the best post ever. Meh, what are ya gonna do?
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-03-01 20:07:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel your pain, brutha.
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1071036430379210115
I was on a role until two users gave me +1s. Since one of them from dakingisdead - who is notoriously hard to please - I wasn't that pissed, but dammit, I thought it was the best thing I had ever written... plus, it was about my Granddad who kicks ass!
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-03-01 18:58:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, my sweet unused vagina.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-03-01 18:55:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
In defense of tony's vagina.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-03-01 14:51:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2, for taking my comment literally, even if it was as a joke...
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-03-01 13:10:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe I need to start being more gender specific, i.e. suck my cock you assholes. Something like that?
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-03-01 12:09:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha, tony we should switch places.
Everyone guesses you have a vagina, everyone guesses I have a dick.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-03-01 11:00:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't have a vagina.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-03-01 05:02:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think you have some sand in your vagina.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-03-01 03:53:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
" Very rarely do posts suck and who gives a shit if somebody thinks it sucks"
Very rarely?
Where've you been?
Submitted by headlight (user info) at 2004-03-01 03:18:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I won't say grow up because you're just pissed off, but that brings up a good point...Ubersite is about being pissed off. Why give a shit if someone is pissed off or doesn't like your post? That's the whole point of this site, to be pissed off or make people laugh or do both. Very rarely do posts suck and who gives a shit if somebody thinks it sucks.
You shall post again. Chill.
Submitted by amusediniraq (user info) at 2004-03-01 02:22:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2004-02-29 21:35:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
Stop whining...who gives a shit about being on the Best Ever list? It doesn't matter, you're not immortalized, because frankly, Ubersite will not be around until the end of time. If you really feel you need to be immortalized in some aspect of your life, do it in real life, not on some website.
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I concur. But at the same time I have watched some of my posts fall victim of this stuff and I have felt like "what the fuck was that for" then the feeling passes and I write something else.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-03-01 00:05:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You took the words right out of my mouth, quack.
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2004-02-29 23:59:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
there are a lot of posts i feel dont deserve a perfect two rating... take a look at the best ever list. occasionally, i will bring a newly released perfect scoring post down with a one, but only if i feel it isn't worthy of its current status. i REALLY don't like the pettiness you mentioned though. the whole "haha i fucked up your score" mentality is so childish. and it makes me feel petty caring about a score of mine, too. but what's there to do? honestly.
Submitted by Zeccs (user info) at 2004-02-29 23:40:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shit happens, but settle the fuck down... it's not the end of the world.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-02-29 23:23:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm afraid it wasn't so much stealing it as it was the first angry picture I came across... sorry if you're offended Justin.
Submitted by MistressSarah (user info) at 2004-02-29 23:23:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree, the kind of people who -2, ruin a perfect rating, etc. out of spite can go fly a kite.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-02-29 23:22:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You stole my cat picture idea.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-02-29 22:48:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I know not everyone is going to give +2's, but when there are people out there who give lower ratings just to ruin scores it pisses me off. I'm not talking just about my post, it happens to lots of people.
Submitted by Ace (user info) at 2004-02-29 22:43:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Man, I read your beastiality post when it only had a bunch of reviews and I didn't think it was that great.
I was gonna review it, but I said fuck it, people are gonna think I'm an asshole or something.
There is always gonna be someone on here that doesn't like your shit.
No one can make a post that will get +2'd or even -2'd by everybody. Its a combination of who looked at the post, who felt like reviewing it, and luck.
Ya damn skippy.
Submitted by triliad (user info) at 2004-02-29 22:21:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Riight...thanks...
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-02-29 22:19:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
On the main page you can sort the list by newest, best today, best this week, best ever and worst ever.
Submitted by triliad (user info) at 2004-02-29 22:05:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Maybe I'm just slow, but where's the Best Ever list?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-02-29 21:38:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Believe me Kracka, I was pissed when the black ninja posts were ruined. Fuckers. I noticed that judoka really likes to give 1's instead of 2's.
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2004-02-29 21:38:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
that should be Black Ninja sorry
-Black Ninja
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-02-29 21:37:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"smashing something that is going to disintegrate into nothing in a day is different than shitting all over someone's hard work that could be recorded for weeks to come. "
Read between the lines.
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2004-02-29 21:36:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23828
http://www.ubersite.com/m/15023
happens to just about everyone.
-Bkack Ninja
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-02-29 21:36:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, I had this great image of you and your family in a little sandcastle smashing gang, going around and ruining the dreams of aspiring young sculptors.
"Take that focker!! Isn't so pretty now IS IT??"
"Daddy! That man ruined our castle!"
"You sonofabitch, how dare you....oh shit... no... the entire polyamorousaj family is closing in on me... No! NO!!!!!!!"
Scene pans out, credits roll.
Sorry, I got a little carried away.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2004-02-29 21:35:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Stop whining...who gives a shit about being on the Best Ever list? It doesn't matter, you're not immortalized, because frankly, Ubersite will not be around until the end of time. If you really feel you need to be immortalized in some aspect of your life, do it in real life, not on some website.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-02-29 21:32:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It happens
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-02-29 21:30:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha, I meant smashing the sandcastles of friends and relatives, but that works too... everybody needs family bonding.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-02-29 21:28:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PUSSY!
What?
Yay tony! I could feel this one coming on when I was talking to you haha.
My personal favorite: somehow you're not as much of an ass for smashing a kid's sandcastle if you do it with friends and relatives?
Submitted by Dragon (user info) at 2004-02-29 21:19:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Up until now, I really didn't like your posts or reviews. But my mind has been changed.
"They've only written four reviews? How the fuck do I get the unlucky pleasure of being one of those four?"
Priceless.