McGuddah Returns To Earth! (861 hits)
Category: GraphicsRating: 1.6 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by quack (View user info) at 2004-02-29 23:51:41 EST
previous chapter: http://www.ubersite.com/m/26638
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I was wandering around my home planet, where ducks roam the prairies eating ham sandwiches without a care in the world, when I came upon a brawl of sorts. A little bald guy with a bad attitude pitted in battle against a frightened young woman. The girl turned to flee in terror and ran smack into me.
The wee stone man was ruthless, I knew it from the moment I laid eyes on him. Beady, gleaming eyes. Unshaven, malevolent grimace. There was gonna be trouble, and I knew I had to get myself and the maiden in distress as far away from that little guy as possible. And fast! He was closing in on us, raving about redheads and dog dicks, admiring the girl's red locks all the while.
"Follow me, Firecrotch!" I quacked.
"MY NAME IS ASHLEE! AND IT'S ONLY HAIR DYE, STUPID FUCKING DUCK!" she snapped, while momentarily forgetting the impending doom waddling toward us.
"Ashlee, then. Quick, TO THE DUCKMOBILE!!" I bellowed, as best a duck could.
We took off for the Duckmobile, a truly awesome duck-shaped rocket fifty yards away. Up the stairs and inside, we slammed the hatch just in time. A loud thud gave us quite a scare, but the door held...barely. The little guy sure packed a punch for his size.
Initiating blast-off sequence and setting the autopilot for "Destination: Earth," we glanced out of one of the cartoonish bubble-shaped windows only to see what made us gasp.
The menacing, little buddha was toddling his way back to his rocket, cackling to himself.
Blast Off! QUAAAAAAAAAACCCKKKK!!!
The trip back to Earth was fraught with dangers, the little stone man's rocket firing lasers at us, and the Duckmobile barely avoiding them all the way. Finally, as we approached the atmosphere, we took a hit to the left wing. Feathers trailing behind us, we were headed directly for Chicago! Oh No! Anywhere but there!
Right before we would have ended up in a feathery, fiery mess in the middle of the windy city, I slammed the eject button. Ashlee and I flew, landing safely in none other than (OMG!) Bart Cilfone's spacious apartment. We relaxed, telling him of our adventure as I drank the V8 from his fridge and Ashlee enjoyed a glass of three-year-old wine. Good times were had, but the adventure of the McGuddah was not fated to cross paths with the Creator himself, at least not yet, for there was another Uberuser residing in the windy city...
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McGuddah landed his rocket neatly next to the fiery, feathery crash site, not having seen the two small ejecting figures. There he was, alone in the middle of one of Chicago's beautiful parks.
"MUAHAHA!! I AM TRIUMPHANT!!" he shouted to no one in particular, now longing for a brew.
From her perch in the woods, a small squirrel saw the fat little man and observed his antics curiously...
All yours, ohlookasquirrel... Link it on back.
User Reviews
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-03-01 14:32:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry mick, I'm afraid this is my doing. Don't worry I'm sure you'll end up back in my tea garden eventually.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-03-01 14:27:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good. I laughed, I cried, I wet my pants. Okay, I didn't really wet my pants. I would never do something like that.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-03-01 11:31:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this was a good chapter. fast paced.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-03-01 11:13:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/26661
The saga continues, apparently much to everyone's chagrin...
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-03-01 10:33:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Firecrotch"!!!!!!!
Priceless.
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-03-01 09:08:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-03-01 00:36:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
i dont mind being the butt of a joke if it makes good entertainment. but this is played out now. the first couple were funny, now it is getting old and lame.
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Hahahahaha...
+100000000000000000 for getting that response.
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-03-01 02:45:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-03-01 01:16:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think it should end on Mick. Seems only fair.
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2004-03-01 00:56:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i would think it should end on bart or mick, but i dunno.. if he is so tired of it... meh.. ::shrug::
well i thought they were fun.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-03-01 00:49:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
write yours and whoever wants to stop it will stop it
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-03-01 00:48:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bah, so should mine be closing it out? Are y'all okay with me writing one, passing it on, and having that be the last one?
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2004-03-01 00:36:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i dont mind being the butt of a joke if it makes good entertainment. but this is played out now. the first couple were funny, now it is getting old and lame.
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-03-01 00:21:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yessssss
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2004-03-01 00:13:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck is this McGuddah shit? I missed the memo, apparently.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-02-29 23:58:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Follow me, Firecrotch!" I quacked.
"MY NAME IS ASHLEE! AND IT'S ONLY HAIR DYE, STUPID FUCKING DUCK!" she snapped,
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Beautiful.
Y'all better have laid off the soy sauce in Bart's fridge-it's MINE!
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-02-29 23:56:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes quack you are awesome! This shall be fun.
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2004-02-29 23:52:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
there are a few previous post references in there... sorry if you dont get them.
and that pic was made with paint. heh.