Uberia: Chapter XVII Impossible Odds (780 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.9 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Uber Scratch <lordofthepost.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-03-02 03:46:53 EST
Mystery and Adventure in the world of Cyber and the lands of Uberia as war strikes without warning and sometimes good does not always rule over evil. Journey to a land where the internet meets the dark ages meets Ubersite. A struggle between those that work hard to uphold the post, and those that work hard to destroy the post. Welcome to Uberia. Read the post that started it all here...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23306
Comment and you could live the story...
Uberia: Chapter XVII Impossible Odds
The pounding rain showed no mercy upon the paladins as they marched through the thick mud to finally reach the metropolis of Microsoft. The undisputed largest city in all of Cyber, reaching the outer walls to the city meant nothing; they would still have several days of travel before they could reach the Castle XP. They were weary, tired and hungry. As they reached the gates to the outer city, two large men with eight arms stood in their way. Multi-taskers. Citizens and guardians of Microsoft, and very dangerous opponents in battle. Clad in iron armor and armed to the teeth with an impressive arsenal, each multi-tasker is a one-man-army. "No one passes without a certificate of authenticity" commanded one of the large guards out to the crowd of warriors.
"Oh really, well we all left ours at home" William Q. Percy said in a light tone
"Then I'm sorry to say you will have to go back home and get it" answered the multi-tasker.
General TaK stepped in, glaring at the ever-provoking Percy "Here is mine, we are here to represent Uberia.
"Then I hope you have a good explanation for what was done at Hotmail, you're credentials are fine, enter" Without removing his pure white eyes from General TaK, one of the guards reached back with one of his eight hands and pulled a lever behind him, summoning the gates to open. As the large metal gates swung open with a screechy rumble, the city was unveiled in all of its wonder and glory. Even though the Castle XP was miles away, it was the visible center of an endless city. The outskirts of the city were aptly named Dos. In Microsoft, there were five rings signifying status. Dos was where the poorest of its people lived. 95 and 98 ran into each other but signified the working class. 2000 held the aristocrats, and XP was the castle in which Boss Gates and his Lords inhabited. These rings encompassed over 400,000 square kilometers of land, amassing to one of the largest organized kingdoms in all of Cyber. The city was circular, and gradually sloped to XP, giving an entering onlooker a majestic view of a major portion of Microsoft from above. Dos was by far the most populated, but had a dark and gloomy look of death to it. A swarm of tents pitched side by side for hundreds of miles in a muddy land that yielded very little. The people were parasites, looking for anyone with a money purse to steal and pillage. Nonetheless, it also allowed some of those who were stronger in Dos to work as escorts to visitors and returning citizens passing through the dangerous lands to return home. The Paladins could hold their own, but still treaded carefully through the muddy streets as they made way further down the slope to 95. A skinny rat-like man stepped in front of General TaK. "You, your Uberian?" General TaK looked down at the man and replied "Why do you ask?"
"Your Uberian, Uberians are here in Microsoft? He started raising his voice, causing passer-bys to take notice of the new arrivals as well. "What, Hotmail wasn't enough for ya, so you came here to try and take over Microsoft too?" The conversation grew quite uncomfortable as Bob started to notice other people approach. Whispers in the crowd amounted to the fact that the people of Dos were pretty sour at Uberians in light of recent events. "You and your careless posting, calling the post without taking note of future consequences and with wreckless disorder" A taller and obese barefooted man added. Chatter spread throughout the ever-growing crowd as the mob began to circle around the Paladins.
"This could get ugly General" Phinch said as he slowly moved his hand to the hilt of his sword, "real ugly".
"Over here" yelled Big Mike, waiving his arms over his head to signal Reallybored and his companions to his hidden camp. Although Reallybored, Mac and LaNa had been searching for a good part of the day for their missing king, it was Big Mike who found them. Their encampment was far off from the beaten path to hide from both Christpunch and any patrolling post-killers, but Big Mike kept his eyes open for searching friends. As they raced over to Big Mike, his smile gave way to relief as he knew help was on the way for Jonukah and his sovereign. Big Mike led them to their small nook in the forest, and LaNa wasted no time as she worked on Lord Bart. Both Jonukah and Lord Bart were covered in mud from the torrential downpour that had started last night as they lay on the ground weak from their recent attack. Big Mike frowned, "I had tried to keep them dry, but after a long morning of hard rain, it had become impossible. LaNa wiped the mud from the king's brow as her hands began to give off a soft glow. "He's in bad shape, but mostly from the virus, it's keeping him from healing". Her hands slowly hovered inches above Lord Bart's body as the warmth of the glow began to transfer to his body. Big Mike, Mac and Reallybored tended to Jonukah as LaNa continued to work on her King.
"It's really good to see you Big Mike" Reallybored said as he lifted Jonukah's head out of the muddy slush below.
"Yes, under normal circumstances, we'd go to the local pub and talk about times past, unfortunately, we have to act quickly. This place is swarming with post-killers, and if you haven't already heard, the Triad is loose.
"It's scary, you know, they haven't been free in ages, only Uber knows what they are up to now"
"Christpunch is obviously after Lord Bart, it's why he's in this condition now"
"The Warrior-King" Reallybored muttered under his breath, he looked over in LaNa's direction, "We must get the king to safety, Christpunch cannot find him again"
LaNa nodded as she pushed light into the king's chest, he awoke, coughing up a bit of blood, and then gasping for clean air. He got a mouthful of water from the rain. He coughed a bit more then looked at LaNa, he repaid her with a hug. "Thank you LaNa, I was ebbing away, I didn't know how much longer I could have held out. Bart said as he started to push himself up.
"Easy milord, I could heal your external wounds, but please accept my apologies, I cannot clean the virus" LaNa said sadly.
"I expected no less, this virus is a new strain, it drains me but I am far from dead" He rose to his feet, "LaNa, please tend to Jonukah, everyone else, get your belongings ready, I'm going to pull in any allies that are close by and get them to meet us"
"Milord, why are we closing ranks so soon?"
"When we gather all the help we can get, we are going to Boredatwork and we are going to take back the city, we cannot afford to lose anymore footing"
Big Mike looked at the king, "How did you know... what... Boredatwork?"
"It's been sacked, at this time Koolmang approaches to take over the reigns, Queen Ashlee is alive and well and has escaped capture, along with her council and some of our warriors." The King responded. He chose not to answer how he found out this information while injured, only to address the situation at hand. LaNa let out only a sigh in objection as she worked on Jonukah. She wondered how a handful of soliders would recapture the city of boredatwork, and why they would even bother to battle for a city so close to McBain's army, but she knew not to question her Lord. Lord Bart was king for a reason, he had an excellent sense of leadership and direction, and he has not let his people down yet, even in the face of adversity. She slowly worked to magically stitch Jonukah's wounds together while she wondered, and hoped that focusing on Boredatwork was the right move.
The adventurers, led by Rizzo, entered the dark pub in search of Maddox. As they moved through the crowd, people were merry, singing and dancing and moving throughout the pub with tankards of ale. People sang songs of cheer, and laughed as they exchanged old battle tales and spoke of fighting. Loki thought to herself that this would be the last place she would expect Maddox. She has met him on several occasions, and this did not seem the type of place that the man she knew would frequent. Rizzo led them through the drunken crowd right to the bar, to a hooded figure. On the bar in front of the figure was a plate full of crispy biscuits. The figure was pouring a thick sausage gravy all over the biscuits when they approached.
"Maddox", Rizzo said as he interrupted the man's lunch, "These are the Uberians you have been expecting"
Darthawesome excitedly stepped forward, "You're the great Maddox?" he leaned in closer, almost to the bar, "You're the great war hero I've heard so much about?
The figure did not turn around, "I am Maddox, no more, no less"
DarthAwesome looked over in Madjestervince's direction, who was now pushing his way to the front. "NOW!" Darthawesome screamed as a beam of yellow light emitted from his hand. Madjestervince quickly followed as he forged a brownish light into the shape of a blade from his hand. Loki and the others had no time to register what was happening as the cloaked man who identified himself as Maddox spun around and drove a double palm strike into both chests of the plotting assassins, knocking them both back about five feet and dropping them to the ground. In a flash of wonder the hooded man was on Madjestervince, pulling him to his feet and planting a knee in his stomach. His hands were like strikes of lightning as he unleashed a fury of deadly punches and kicks on the dazed assassin, dealing a final open-handed fingertip strike, impaling Madjestervince just below his ribcage. The assassin had no time to answer any of the attacks, as blood trickled from his mouth while he slowly descending to his knees. The hooded man pulled his hand out in just enough time to deflect an oncoming attack from DarthAwesome. DarthAwesome had forged a post-kill into the form of a sword which he was violently swinging at the mysterious figure. "A post-sabre" the dark figure said, "very creative"
DarthAwesome lunged at him "Admiring it will be the last thought you have wretch!" A deadly array of attacks and parries were launched on both ends, and what would have taken a normal warrior minutes, took these two professional warriors seconds, their hands and arms were a blur of perfect harmonious combat. The figure finally parried a desperate lunge from DarthAwesome, moving to the vulnerable assassin's side. The figure grabbed his hand, held outward from the lunge, and turned Darthawesome's post-sabre on himself, driving it deep through his heart. Darthawesome fell silent to the floor. The entire bar was quiet; all eyes were on the hooded figure. He turned towards the mystified Loki, "Is there anyone else who wishes to fight me?"
Loki snapped out of her trance and responded "Lord Maddox, these men joined us during our journeys, we had no way of...." The man interrupted, pushing his hood back to display his face, "I know" he said as he moved closer, "I am not Maddox, I am Dlove. I am a follower of Maddox, and we setup this test to be sure there were no assassins in your party. There are many people that want Maddox dead, I had to be sure that you weren't unintentionally harboring any of those people in your party. He held out his hand to Loki, Loki answered with her own hand in fellowship, "All of my other party members are safe, I can vouch for them."
"Good" Said Dlove, "Now I can take you to Maddox, follow me"
To be continued...
User Reviews
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-03-03 02:45:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-03-02 23:05:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great job. Nicely done.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-03-02 17:37:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-03-02 16:21:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
w00t... yes, i have w00ted.
Submitted by Heimdallsman (user info) at 2004-03-02 16:07:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, holy hell.
I have been avoiding this series since its beginning.
Now, I have spent a good solid hour going back and reading each chapter in detail.
This is great! I knew I'd get hooked...
And, I wanna play! Please, please, please!!!!!
--HeimdallsMan
Submitted by Mac (user info) at 2004-03-02 15:09:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2004-03-02 15:00:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Brawl at the pub was missing a bar stool...the one flaw. This is still as kick ass as ever.
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ugaly raised a good point there. I also feel like Dlove should paused to take a bite of the gravybiscuits just before killing DarthAwesome. That would have been sweet. Eitherway, it was still a good chapter, one of my favorites so far.
Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2004-03-02 15:00:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Brawl at the pub was missing a bar stool...the one flaw. This is still as kick ass as ever.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-03-02 14:47:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Q, I'm still hurt that yuo called me a shite writer. I'm crying right now.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-03-02 14:39:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Eee Hee hee!
I am giddy with glee over my first words! I am a little shit, aren't I?
Thanks Ed!
This story is getting to be like a great blowjob... the pressure is building, climax is imminent....I'm LOVING THIS!
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-03-02 14:28:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is getting better and better... I'm on the edge of my seat.
Submitted by Buttons (user info) at 2004-03-02 13:55:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"The outskirts of the city were aptly named Dos. In Microsoft, there were five rings signifying status. Dos was where the poorest of its people lived. 95 and 98 ran into each other but signified the working class. 2000 held the aristocrats, and XP was the castle in which Boss Gates and his Lords inhabited. "
Like the +2 says: kicker of all ass.
Congrats on the baby, man!
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-03-02 12:45:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck is up with that redpants guy? How can you -2 a post when you yourself can't even string together coherent sentences?
Awesome as always.
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-03-02 12:28:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks once again guys. Don't know what Red Pants' problem is, I would only hope the next time he doesn't write his review when taking 30 doses of acid. WTF man? Did you shoot up and then just start typing, it's an almost comical mixture of words and phrases that just want to be a paragraph, but not.
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-03-02 12:12:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-03-02 12:02:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As wonderful as ever.
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2004-03-02 12:01:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a crazy mofo Loki. But now my wayward soul is one with post.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-03-02 11:10:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome chapter LotP.
It's funny, this is the only series post that I read and I can never wait for the next installment. Keep rocking the post world.
Submitted by LaNa (user info) at 2004-03-02 10:40:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great...Great....and still Great.
All hail the arrival of Dlove.
Loki - we all knew that "you were true" :)
~LaNa :)
Submitted by Dlove (user info) at 2004-03-02 10:32:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy biscuits LOTP, thanks man. I really didn't expect you to throw me in there! This story is too awesome, keep it up. When this is done it's goin on the Biscuit, that's for sure. We'll have to see about getting you set up as a writer for The Biscuit as well.
CONGRATS ON THE BABY!
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-03-02 09:19:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I remember DOS, it definitely had a dark and gloomy look of death about it.
Damn that sneaky little bastard DarthAwesome. Madjestervince I would expect this of, but not Darth.
Submitted by Mac (user info) at 2004-03-02 09:10:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Another +2 because it's that good.
Submitted by Mac (user info) at 2004-03-02 09:07:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love the touch about the gravybiscuits. That was awesome. It's the small details like that in this story that I love. This was great.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-03-02 08:56:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn good.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-03-02 07:46:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Another great chapter.
However, I feel like I suck because badly very red pants positive rating give me he did.
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2004-03-02 07:40:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I even got my own lego, heh.
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2004-03-02 07:40:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I even got my own lego, heh.
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2004-03-02 07:39:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I even got my own lego, heh.
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2004-03-02 07:37:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A Post Sabre, hahaha!
Thanks for the cool battle, keep up the great work.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-03-02 05:55:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wooooooo!
Ole!
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2004-03-02 04:46:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Screw Red_Pants in the goat ass. this is a really good series. Can't wait for the battle.
-Black Ninja
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-03-02 04:35:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What's the deal with red pants? He/she writes posts that blow then find it in him or herself to be critical with other magnificent work.
In a nutshell, why does Red Pants continue to rim everyone on ubersite yet treat them so poorly afterward?
Submitted by Red_Pants (user info) at 2004-03-02 04:33:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Ampere-hour, I plainly see that this is one another history of the stupid donkey on the users in this place. Well, I do not give an excrement! He leaves to say me to it something, it is a thing to affix on something terrible and is completely another to write this type of crap here. That is intended entertain only those that are inside in the interior.
You think of thus cool? You is not.
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-03-02 03:55:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Am I first?!?!! AM I??!!?!?!?
Yay for bringing TaK into the story!
SpikeGoddess