Will Zone: 111 Foot Tall Metallic French Woman. (1830 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.8 on 46 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Will Zone <dianoga101.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-03-03 11:39:26 EST
I people watch constantly. Sometimes I'm lucky enough to find a human being, John Q. Citizen, that looks like another person, most of the time a celebrity of some sort. For example, there is this guy at my work that looks like a slightly more decrepit John Voight. Every time I look at him...all I can think of is Midnight Cowboy and Anaconda.
Everyone sort of looks like someone famous. Sort of.
So I tried to figure out who I look like. One time while drunk, someone said I looked like the Statue of Liberty...it was probably the crown and torch that I usually wear. I took it to heart. Then randomly, weeks later...someone completely different said I looked like Lady Liberty. I decided to dig deeper.
Am I, Will Zone, a walking talking Lady Liberty? (That is one hell of a thesis sentence.)
Note to reader: Bear with me...this'll be a stretch. So please, suspend all disbelief.
Comparison of Facts:
Statue of Liberty v. Will Zone
Date Construction of the Statue began in France: 1875
Year my Parents were married and tried to have kids: 1975 (born in 1979)
Sculptor: Auguste Bartholdi
Creators: Buddy and Janice Zone
Method of Fabrication: Repousse Process
Method of Conception: Drunken Fucking
Statue presented to America by the people of France: July 4, 1884
First Born Son finally first presented to rest of family: July, 1984 (for fear I was retarded)
Date the cornerstone was laid on Bedloe's Island in New York Harbor: August 1884
I have gotten laid on Long Island.
Heel to top of head: 111' 1"
Heel to top of head: 006' 0"
Head thickness from ear to ear: 10' 0"
I too am rather thick headed.
Thickness of waist: 35' 0"
Thickness of waist: 35' 0" identical!
Total weight of Statue: 225 tons
Total Weight of Will Zone: 225 Lbs
Steps to crown: 354 steps
Steps to recovery: 12 steps
Lady Liberty Operating Hours:
Open daily: 9:30AM - 5:00PM
Open for extended hours during Summer
Closed on December 25th.
Will Zone Operating Hours:
Works daily: 8AM- 4:00PM (at least)
Sweats and sleeps a lot during Summer
Drunk on December 25th.
Average Annual Visitation to Liberty: 4.2 million people.
Average Annual Visitation to Will Zone's apartment: 4.2 people
Statue of Liberty Renovation Activities 1984-1986:
A team of French and American craftsmen worked in and around the statue, repairing popped rivets and replacing the corroded iron ribs with stainless steel. They strengthened the arm, incorrectly installed in 1886. French metal crafters replaced the old flame, lit from inside, with a gold-plated copper flame lit by reflection, in keeping with the sculptor's original conception.
Will Zone Renovation Activities 2002-2006:
A team of American Doctors worked in Will Zone to remove a defective gallbladder, causing popped blood vessels and replacing gross gall stones. He has been working his arm with a the one-armed junk-rustle ever since injuring it during an errant hi-five after the Mets won the World Series in 1986. Will Zone longs for a new flame.
Well from my perspective, it's as clear as Peter Jackson is smelly.
Oh Uber, I can only hope the photo shoppers take advantage of this and help me prove the theory!
Will Zone is Lady Liberty
User Reviews
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-05-27 11:30:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
silly fun
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-05-27 10:28:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Zone:
I finally got around to it:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1085668000131016878
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-05-27 09:39:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus Will, you two do have similar features.
"Steps to crown: 354 steps
Steps to recovery: 12 steps"
That made me laugh out loud.
WZ, you should come to Boston this weekend.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-05-27 09:29:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Creators: Buddy and Janice Zone
Too funny
Submitted by Loper (user info) at 2004-03-08 12:44:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very entertaining. I don't think you mentioned color similarities, though. Not that you're green normally, but I'm sure at some point in life you must have been "green with envy". Just a thought.
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2004-03-05 12:36:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautifuckingful
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2004-03-05 12:32:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by audjgirl (user info) at 2004-03-05 12:26:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
will, you are pretty hot.
mmmhmmm ...
Submitted by THEillONE (user info) at 2004-03-05 12:18:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ha
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-03-05 08:00:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.bridgend.gov.uk/english/tourism/arts/images/Joe%20Pasquale%201.jpg
I assume this will work.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-03-05 07:58:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You look like shit British "comedian", Joe Pasquale. I will summon a link in a min. Erm...be right back.
Submitted by BonesForBucks (user info) at 2004-03-05 07:42:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah, I see it: the nose. You have the same nose.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-03-04 15:50:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
and I love you.
Submitted by jonukah (user info) at 2004-03-04 12:38:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love you, Spartacus
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2004-03-04 11:19:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/26937
Submitted by THEillONE (user info) at 2004-03-04 10:27:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heres another good one:
You Sons of Bitches!!! You Blew It All To Hell!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/26937
Submitted by THEillONE (user info) at 2004-03-04 10:05:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
barts post was awesome
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-03-04 09:42:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-03-04 09:04:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
See barts awesome companion post:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/26924
Submitted by lush (user info) at 2004-03-04 02:53:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I see the resemblence Lady Willberty
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-03-04 02:50:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Will Zone does indeed rock.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-03-04 02:47:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like Will.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-03-04 02:37:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Will Zone rocks and so does this post.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-03-03 18:00:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
funee sheet.
you do kinda look like her. im sorry.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2004-03-03 16:59:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Only 4.2 visitors to your apartment each year?
I'm sorry.
Submitted by jcricket (user info) at 2004-03-03 16:19:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Method of Fabrication: Repousse Process
Method of Conception: Drunken Fucking
Well I don't know exactly what's involved with "Repousse Process"...
but I also don't know what's involved with "Drunken Fucking" either...
woe is me.
*sigh
You're both symbols of everything that's great about this damnable country of ours. How about them apples?
Submitted by ScoutCJustice (user info) at 2004-03-03 16:00:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Will Zone is my hero...
Submitted by THEillONE (user info) at 2004-03-03 14:12:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BAM! if I had any photoshop skills whatsoever i'd make a swwet pic of you as lady libs.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-03-03 13:40:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
then you got one hot ass.
I actually hate that picture, i'm half talking out the side of my mouth...but its the only one I had handy.
Submitted by fingerbang (user info) at 2004-03-03 13:28:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think you look more like my ass
Submitted by theWELLofZION (user info) at 2004-03-03 13:16:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well both of you certainly are ugly
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-03-03 13:14:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Phinch thinks I look like Brendan Frasier. Works for me.
Submitted by deb_u_taunt (user info) at 2004-03-03 13:13:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd climb him too. Show him why freedom really rocks.
Submitted by Mac (user info) at 2004-03-03 12:42:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The statue of Liberty? Well, I always thought it was the statue of Zone and, uh, I learned something new today.
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-03-03 12:40:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your skin is green too. But that's because you haven't showered in ages.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-03-03 12:29:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Id climb Will Zone anyday.
eh?
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-03-03 12:10:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Big copper-skined lady: Is a symbol of liberty to incomming immigrants inspiring them to live the american dream.
That Italian Zone guy: Is a symbol of freedom to the MTV viewers inspiring them to get their comeuppance against Mr. Peterson by voting.
I was gonna say something about the noses, but then i saw you had written it on the pic. call me the master of observation.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2004-03-03 12:07:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good job.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-03-03 12:05:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Date the cornerstone was laid on Bedloe's Island in New York Harbor: August 1884
I have gotten laid on Long Island.
That got you the plus two alone.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-03-03 12:03:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Made me laugh, good post. Why did it take your parents 3 years to have sex?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-03-03 11:59:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i love you.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-03-03 11:55:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Method of Conception: Drunken Fucking
That's how far I got when I decided to give this a +2... Damn, Zone, that's good shit.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-03-03 11:47:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Gary.
Statue of Liberty: Wears a dress.
The Whiz: Remember that one time...?
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-03-03 11:46:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fascinating
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-03-03 11:46:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yea, feel free to add your own observations!
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-03-03 11:44:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Lady Liberty: Green in appearance
Will Zone: One time, after this wild fling with a stripper, certain parts turned green.