Ever go to a guitar center or music shop in general? (1688 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.37 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Poisonyourkids (View user info) at 2004-03-04 01:02:38 EST
if you are familiar with guitar centers, or any music store really, chances are you have encountered some of these people that can make or break the experience for you... ill start with the the most harmless...
1. the washed up 80s metal head: these guys look gross and play gross. typically belting out winger riffs and waiting for somone to come over and give em a "ROCK AND ROLL!!!!" yell... these guys are bad but they arent as bad as the next guy...
2. the showoff: this guy shows up, takes some kind of les paul or a kramer if they are a jerk. they plug into the biggest stack they can find and turn up loud enough to rattle all the windows in the place and start soloing horrible 80s metal. they never play stevie ray vaughn or anything... its always shitty 80s metal... never fails. cause as we know... thats just what i want to hear blaring while i try and plug in and play at a reasonable level to check out how a used head sounds... fuck face.
3. the kid who cant play anything but greenday: this kid is usually abusing power chords on an extremely expensive guitar while his parents stand behind him writing in their check book so the kid can get a fantastic guitar and then get bored with it a week later. i meanwhile im looking at mexican fenders.... god dammit.
4. the shitty punk band that hogs the accoustic room: if you have been to a guitar center you have no doubt checked out the accoustic room and if youre really lucky there is some group of asshole kids in there belting out smells like teen spirit way too loud on gibson guitars cause they just feel the need to play hard enough to break all the strings on the thing... meanwhile you cant hear yourself think. and you cant check out a gibson guitar with a deep rich tone cause some little fuck is one again using it to smash out power chords... rat bastards...
5. john mayer: he is in there, or some form of him playing sunny riffs and singing to himself... i usually want to smash that that stupid gretch (or whatever guitar he is playing) over his fat head...
6. disney channel kid. there is always a kid there who looks like he should be on the disney channel... its hard to describe but they have that certain something that makes me hate them...
thats a pretty acurate representation of who you will see at the guitar center... the key is to get there early... like, before school lets out. the washups are at work, the brats are in school and you can go there and conduct your business without hearing some terrible person play the first 2 bars of stairway to heaven and then stop cause they dont know the reast.... I HATE THAT...DAMMIT.
User Reviews
Submitted by Captain Foamy at 2004-03-05 00:50:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"as to your desire to "rock me under the table"...i think ill pass." (Poisonyourkids)
Once Again Captain Foamy has mentally out rocked somebody without even lifting a finger! Come on bro if you wanna be a rocker you gotta think like a rocker! Thats fucking life lesson number one. The fact is I will out rock you in every sence of the word but you still have to act like your gonna out rock me, even though its obviously not possible. Alright, Good debate I win. http://www.geocities.com/captain_foamy
Submitted by poisonyourkids (user info) at 2004-03-04 23:22:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
what the fuck is this captain foamy shit. i saw your website and im sorry to say that i hate it. thats just me.
as for your astounding 4 years of self taught guitar. la de fucking da... ive been playing for 4 years too... as to your desire to "rock me under the table"...i think ill pass...
Submitted by Dave3811 (user info) at 2004-03-04 22:42:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What about the "wonderful" employees at these stores?
The Asshole - when you walk in the store, this guy takes one look at you and goes back to shooting the shit with his friends, mostly because he A) has never seen you in his store before so you must suck and B) You don't look like a player because you just got off of work, and decided to go to the store before you drive 45 minute one way to change. Even if you buy something, he still acts like you're wasting his time.
The friend - He's all about kissing your ass, and no matter what kind of crap comes out of your amp, he asks what band your in, where you're playing, who your influences are, etc..., all in a lame attempt to make a sale
The Musician - He's been there, done that, knows everyone, and has played with the greats. Never mind that he has to ask why you want a guitar with humbuckers as opposed to single-coils, he knows his shit.
The Electronics Tech - He know everything you ever wanted to know about how guitars work, and will not hesitate to tell you. For people like me, it's just mildly annoying (in fairness, I learn something new occasionally), but he has the same speech for everyone, even small children.
The Electronics Tech Wannabe - Just like the E.T. above, but he only knows general, standard information. Ask him the difference between active and passive pickups, no problem. Ask him why the pickups use Faraday's law of inductive current, and he just looks at you, and proceeds to tell you that "This guitar has three pickups."
The Salesman - My favorite. When you ask why a DS-1 is listed for $80 at his store when you know you can get it somewhere else for $40, he jsut looks at you, and proceed to explain that that other place must be going out of business or some other bullshit excuse for selling it to you at half the retail price. HIS price is by far the best you will ever encounter, so you should just buy it now.
Submitted by Staci <cmpkllurslf.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-03-04 22:39:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, 'round here there are four decent shops to go to for strings ' things. Georges Music has a vast aray of beautifully crafted pieces hanging from swings on all the walls. Nice Music is good for trading used, and buying new tools. They also have the widest acoustic bass selection in town. Music Warehouse is good for wind instruments and accessories. And then there's Discount Music.
I'll have to admit that I've seen all of above in each of these stores. Weather it's the pampered Abercrombie and Fitch mama's boy who complains about a scuff on his brand new nikes, or the scrawny, greasy headed woe-is-me emo twat... Someone always manages to fuck up my day.
I once saw a boy wooing his disgustingly adorable girlfriend in an acoustic room. So, me being the bitch that I am, I suggested to the boy that he play different songs for each girl, because last week's flavour is getting old and I was ready for a new song along with each new girl.
I take comfort knowing that I can ruin someone elses day before they even get a chance to fuck up mine.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-03-04 22:34:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i just bought a new accoustic. i ran upstairs, grabbed it, and frantically walked over to the guy at the desk. he says "you want to try that o--" and i cut him off and say, "no thanks, i'd like to pick it up right now." i was in and out of that place in 5 minutes, i shit you not. the best part is, it's the best guitar i've ever purchased, and i didn't even have that particular guitar in mind before i came into the store.
Submitted by IronChef (user info) at 2004-03-04 22:15:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just don't go to Guitar Center, it sucks. The handmade guitars built by small businesses are much better than PRS and Fenders anyway. www.edroman.com has the best guitars in the world. You should read his rants too.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2004-03-04 21:43:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Whenever I go to guitar center or any music store I always get looked at funny when I start playing "Parallel Universe" on the drums. Its always the little 11 yearold fucks that go in so they look cool, playing the congas and trying their best to break a cymbal.
Little fucks.
Submitted by Captain Foamy at 2004-03-04 21:06:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Out rocked and out debated! Captain Foamy is the King! Rock and Cock and roll! Seriously, go to fashion bug maybe those old ladies looking at sun dresses will be inpressed by your guitar skills! Cause no one else is. I was self taught to and I only been playing for 4 years and I will rock you under a table! Hail to the King http://www.geocities.com/captain_foamy
Submitted by poisonyourkids (user info) at 2004-03-04 13:23:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
to everyone who knew where i was comming from. right on...
to everyone who had some shit to say... here is my resonse...
NO, im not a guitar god, but no i dont suck either. im self taught and can play some pretty advanced stuff for never taking a single lesson or read a book on how to play guitar. my problem isnt with people who can walk in and blast out a solo, the problem is the people who walk in and do it with a marshal stack turned up to 10. all the people who negative 2 me are probobly those people who dont want to accept that what they are doing is asshole, especially cause im playing around 2 on a combo and cant hear it when im right in front of it. the whole store doesnt need to fuckin hear it, go in, conduct your business, maybe daydream about the guitar you want for a bit, and get the fuck out... i dont need to listen to you for the duration of my stay while i try and buy a new pedal or a couple cables or something... turn the fuck down. thats all anyone in there wants to you to do. youre not steve vai and you probobly wont be... just turn down.
fuck you....
ALSO: to the fuck that told me to take a trip over to fashion bug... just tell me which one you work at and ill bend you over in a dressing room... jerk.
Submitted by Shirkinparkin (user info) at 2004-03-04 11:30:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah this is pretty accurate. I was at guitar center a couple weeks back and there was this dude playing scales over and over with his eyes closed and his head tilted back, like he was taking it up the ass. I thought, so fucking what? You can play a scale, let's throw a parade. It kinda pisses me off that people go to guitar center just to have endless jam sessions. If I worked there, I would probably end up smashing a few of those guitars over peoples heads.
Mexican Strats (Beanercasters) are not that bad. I personally love mine. I replaced the pickups (seymour duncan hot rail and texas specials) and it sounds great, even my clean tone. I have played the American's and they are overall better quality, but I wouldn't trade my wetback. I think every strat is different. Plus, real tone comes from one place, your fingers.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-03-04 11:04:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty much sums up everything I have experienced with music stores in my younger days.
I was that guy playing "Sanitarium" on the Marshall Stacks turned up to 11.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2004-03-04 09:01:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I remember walking into a music store once and seeing three guys sitting in the acoustic room off to the side playing Sober by Tool on some Gibsons. That was pretty sweet. I still think the 80's solo idiots are the very worst though; after about 10 minutes, it all just starts to sound the same and its such a pain in the ass. Makes me want to hit them with an Ibanez...
+2 for guitar love.
4152 wishes you a good day.
Submitted by BikerRob (user info) at 2004-03-04 06:55:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've dealt with all that, too. There's always someone trying to play "Stairway to Heaven", and very badly (it's not just in the movies, ex: Waynes World). The kids in the acoustic room usually leave when I ask them if they're done making all that fucking racket.
The biggest problem I have is: being left handed...The music world doesn't cater to me very well. I want a L/H Martin D-18 with a pick up, but I'll probably have to sell the farm to finance it, and I'll be crippled with arthiritis by the time it's delivered. I've since settled for a Dean, doesn't sound too bad at all thru my Marshall MG100 DFX.
I get a kick out of the guys who say the Fender Beanercasters are as good as the American ones. They're usually reluctant to demonstrate this (on a Marshall head, overdrive channel with no effects).
Then there's the salesman who's time you're wasting because you obviously can't afford what you're looking at (I'm a biker and I dress that way, we are very quickly stereotyped. People don't seem to make the connection that if you have a brand new Harley, you probably have a job). I usually ask for the store manager and ask if someone is available who would be interested in selling this to me as I have cash, and this jerk isn't getting the commission. Upon leaving, I remind him that I make twice what he does.
The kids in the acoustic room. I
Submitted by Guitar legend/ King of Rock ch at 2004-03-04 03:30:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Firstly, I am the metal dude that out rocks you and you get all pissy. Two, I suggest if your gonna bitch like a chick then go shop for guitars online or just say fuck it and shop at fashion bug because you have no business being around guitars and your a woman. Bitch about why your ass looks big in stretch pants, OK. Lastly, who gives a fuck! Mind your own business, who do you think you are. I'm sure everyone at the guitar store is so excited when you walk in, act like your gonna buy shit for 2 hours, then get a nylon pick and leave. Don't be a dick bro. Sincerly managment of http://www.geocities.com/captain_foamy
Submitted by antiLemming (user info) at 2004-03-04 03:15:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dammit, I cop that from the staff too. One guy inparticular...
"Hey, can I try out that acoustic electric bass?"
"Sure"
The guy plays it for about 10 minutes, while explaining to me how it feels. Uh, great, I could have gotten all that if you'd let me play it for a damn second. By the time I get the guitar in my hands I just want to leave.
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2004-03-04 03:06:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You're angry because you blow, right?
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2004-03-04 02:04:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
chill out, and focus on the music, man.
Submitted by Zeccs (user info) at 2004-03-04 01:59:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I once had an acoustic stevie ray vaughn jam session with a paraplegic, and his autistic son. (who was fucking good at guitar) Other than that, i havent really noticed these people you talk about. I guess my music store isnt big enough.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-03-04 01:42:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I normally sit and play jimi hendrix songs on acoustics. Then some dick with an amp starts playing some shit by Creed. Fuck Creed.
Submitted by CrushingJackolanterns (user info) at 2004-03-04 01:38:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
u should care less about how others play and more about.. writing better posts
people have freedom of playing whatever the fuck floats their boat without arogant fucks like you citisiing them
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-03-04 01:32:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
gretch?
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-03-04 01:17:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Then there is the whiny little snot who thinks he is better than all the others in the place. In actual fact however he is just a whiny little snot and even the sales guys hate his guts.