Drunk dial, drunk post...same thing (635 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.6 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Beastie Girl (View user info) at 2004-03-04 02:49:38 EST
So what is it about being completely intoxicated that makes a woman want to call the man she desires within her loins? I don't know. But you're reading the post of one totally drunken such member right now.
I've already called him twice in my post-Johnny Walker influenced state...
Me: Hello?
Him: Hey.
Me: So what are you doing now?
Him: On our way home. What are you doing? Need some company?
Me: No...just calling to say hello.
CLICK.
I swear, I should've known that the slurred speech and untimely giggles were an obvious "HEY, FREE BLOWJOB HERE" hint...
So I call again, once I get home...
Me: "Hey."
Him: "Hey."
Me: "What are you doing now?"
Him: "Watching a movie...you coming over? We have ice cream."
(Attempt to lure the drunken whore with sugary and sweet temptations)
Me: "No. I'm too drunk to drive. I just wanted to see what you guys are doing..."
(READ: are you willing to drive over her and screw the hell outta me?)
Him: "Oh...well, we're just watching a movie...come over!"
(READ: NO..you come here. I want my blowjob!)
Me: "I'm going to bed. I'll talk to you later."
Him: "Did you have fun tonight with your friends and free drinks?"
CLICK.
Oh, lordy. I'm so done with drunk dialing in search of instant sexual gratification. If my drunk alter-ego can't score in all of it's easy sluttiness and glory, than it isn't meant to be.
Beware, girls. Stay sober. I imagine this is how a lovechild is conceived.
User Reviews
Submitted by Jocko_Johnson (user info) at 2004-03-04 11:11:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd drive over, get my blow job then rub your back till you fell asleep.
And when you were sleeping I'd pull out the video camera and tape myself putting various objects into your vagina...prolly end the whole thing off with a drunken anal sex scene where I came in your hair and leave moments afterward. It'd be funny. You waking up with your hair cummed to the pillow...now that's a girl to take home to mom.
But that's just me.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2004-03-04 10:56:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Insight into the female mind...is it a good thing?
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-03-04 09:17:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I can feel your pain. Sorta.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-03-04 03:23:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Free blowjobs??
Write down my number...
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-03-04 03:14:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MoonLover is randy.
Have fun now!