Uberia: Chapter XX The Showdown (1272 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.6 on 47 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Uber Scratch <lordofthepost.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-03-04 05:44:49 EST
Mystery and Adventure await in the world of Cyber and the lands of Uberia as war strikes without warning and sometimes good does not always rule over evil. Journey to a land where the internet meets the dark ages meets Ubersite. A struggle between those that work hard to uphold the post, and those that work hard to destroy the post. Welcome to Uberia. Read the post that started it all here...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23306
Comment and you could live the story...
Uberia: Chapter XX The Showdown
Kristen's hair stood on end as she prepared to strike. MickGinny held his hand in the air, when the time was right, they would strike. Koolmang and his men marched nearly right beside them as they lay in the camouflage of the nearby brush. Just as MickGinny's hand dropped a twig snapped behind Queen Ashlee, causing her to spin on her back to see what was behind her. "Ambush!" Yelled one of the Post-Killing scouts who had spotted the predators who had now become the hunted. "Hamilton protect us!" SpikeGoddess commanded as they all turned quickly to meet the incoming onslaught from behind. In the confusion and the limited visibility in the woods, Koolmang could not see how many of them were waiting for him, so he ordered his men to flee. The brush and nearby bushes thrashed violently as their plans of ambush turned sour. QueenAshlee and the others did not care about Koolmang's escape at this point, the attackers to the rear of them were now the main point of their focus. MickGinny launched a liberal crushing post sweeping two of the post-destroyers away. Kristen ducked as a familiar swung his mace at her; she grabbed his swinging arm and pushed him back into a broken tree limb, impaling him. Anansie sliced a familiar's arm off, and after a quick flip maneuver, picked up the severed limb and proceeded to beat the familiar, who was now in shock, to death. Volkless and Audjgirl grabbed hands standing side by side, and with their other hands launched a linked post that burned a post-killer to cinders. Post-kills soared over their heads, as their camouflaged positions were misjudged and launched too far ahead, but still jolting the council members. SpikeGoddess dodged a post kill but was struck in the hand by another, causing her to lose focus on the post she planned to launch. She found the man who struck her. She recognized his face, but couldn't quite tell who it was, until he moved in closer. "UltraJesus4000, I thought somebody would have already killed you off!" The small and prune man came in closer, "I wrote a song for you, I worshipped you and you ignored me" he said, SpikeGoddess jumped up and grabbed a limb above UltraJesus4000's head, the pain in her hand from grabbing the limb almost blinded her, but she pushed out pain and regained focus as she wrapped her legs around UltraJesus4000's throat, pushing him further in the grasp of her strong thighs, "C'mon baby", She said, "I knew it wouldn't work out from the first time you tried to post-kill me" and with a crack, the man who was known as UltraJesus4000 was no more. "Queen Ashlee, you're time is up bitch" screamed an incoming post-killer. It was Shay Brown, who at one time, challenged the Queen for her throne and lost, forced into exile by the Queen herself. "I beat you once and now I'm really going to kick your ass Shay" She said while traipsing through the brush, and with one swoop, tackling Shay to the ground. Slaps were thrown in every direction in the cat fight of the century. Shay pulled part of Queen Ashlee's flowing gown off of her shoulder nearly exposing her breasts. Queen Ashlee responded by pulled her by her hair. She managed to get a good caveman grip on her hair and proceeded to drag her through a nearby briar patch. Her dress torn and muddied, she continued to drag Shay through the brush until she struggled no more. Ashlee then called the post and unleashed it into the back of the barely living postress, reducing Shay to nothing more than a pile of goo in the mud. The battle was over, but the opportunity to strike at Koolmang was lost.
Lord Bart awoke from meditation as the others built a fire for the night. The rain had let up, at least for now. He walked over to Jonukah, "Are you ok?"
"Yes, I'm fine, were you able to get in touch with anyone?"
"Potatomanjack and his troops are in, and I've located Catscradle as well, he is only two days away" Bart replied
"Good, how about any of the others?"
"I will continue to try Queen Ashlee, she's not answering my requests, and I'm getting worried about her"
"Now milord you know SHE can handle herself, keep trying"
Lord Bart turned towards his Knights, "Alright everyone, listen up, we have the Calvary coming in, I'm going to let us rest here for two days, after that, we strike with full force with whatever we have, is that understood?"
The team nodded as they continued setting up camp.
Maddox stood alone as he stared into the eyes of the statue that imprisoned DrinkDDT. "Soon friend, you and the others will be free again, to ride out and save the world"
"How touching" billowed a scratchy voice from the main entrance.
Maddox spun around, not recognizing the voice, but instantly recognizing the undead face. "I was wondering when you were going to show up Cole" Maddox said without emotion.
"I was waiting for a moment when we could be alone, and besides, I wanted your anticipation to heighten, knowing you are going to die is a feeling I will cherish for the rest of my undead life"
"You think that you can kill me Cole?"
"I know that I can, you are nothing now, an old shadowy husk of what you used to be"
Maddox threw his hands down by his sides, glowing white hot, "Then let's get it on"
Cole pushed his hands in the air above his head, closing his eyes and bringing his closed fists out in front of his chest. He then opened his hands, palms down as they began to turn black. "First there are some friends I would like you to meet Maddox" The ground began to rumble as Cole slowly circled his hands. The ground opened in various places, and the various furs on the ground began to come to life, rising up off the ground. "You can raise dead animals now Cole? Asked the cynical Maddox, "Impressive"
"Not animals you fool, but some friends from the underworld who were recently slain by the hands of your friends"
The furs were pulled aside to reveal a variety of undead post-killers, all recent kills during the war in Uberia. Booles(XIII), Fingerbang(III), John Worley(I), DakingisDead(V), DarthAwesome(IV), Madjestervince(IV), BattleRaper(XVI), UltraJesus4000(XX), Shay Brown(XX) and Newgirl(IX).
"Interesting spin Cole" Maddox acknowledged as he leapt into the air, dodging an onslaught if incoming posts from the newly resurrected post-killers. He descended in the middle of them. As he dropped to the ground with a thud, he held out his hand, calling a quarterstaff from the darkness that soared with grace into his hands, with a quick twist of the handle, short blades of pure post protruded from both ends of the platinum staff. He twirled the staff slashing Booles before the mob could even react, it all happened in mere seconds. Booles staggered back into fingerbang, Maddox twirled the staff again and focused it right into the mangled undead body of battleraper, then pulled out and stabbed John Worley behind him. Shay Brown launched a post, but not before Maddox twisted to dodge the incoming brown ball of light, swooshing past him, it tore a hole right through DakingisDead. DarthAwesome slashed at him with his postsabre, missing him by a hair's width, but a fatal mistake as Maddox flipped in the air over and behind DarthAwesome to pull his staff against the undead killer's throat, crushing his neck and eventually detaching Darthawesome's head from his body. Fingerbang came up from behind, but Maddox launched a mule kick into his chest, sending him back a few feet, he spun around with his staff in full swing, slashing the throat of the Fingerbang zombie. Maddox was in absolute control of this battle as he played the dance of dead. Leaping into the air once again into a backflip, he landed on his feet in a crouched position and used his staff to sweep the feet from underneath newgirl. She landed on her back and within seconds had the power of the post driven between her breasts. Madjestervince threw out a kick from behind but Maddox sensed the movement, laying flat on his stomach the kick was a complete miss, causing the post-killer to lose his balance and fall forward. Right on the tip of a quarterstaff Maddox had waiting for him. Maddox pushed him away, leapt to his feet and spun the quarterstaff in a fanning motion, finishing both Shay Brown and Ultrajesus4000. His eyes quickly tried to find Cole, when Cole's sword found him. Cole stabbed right through the back of Maddox, causing the sword to protrude from his chest. The sword sliced right through the center of his heart.
"You lose, Maddox!" Cole said as he twisted the sword, causing Maddox to flinch in agony. Maddox mustered all of the strength he could to speak, "Not.....totally....Cole" Cole ignored his ramblings, "Now your power will be mine!" Cole grabbed the back of his collar, pulling him to his feet and turning Maddox to face him. "See.....you....in..Hell" Maddox stuttered out his final words as his face went blank and his body went cold. Cole grabbed him by the head, both hands pressed firmly against the temples of Maddox, as the force of white light flowed into Cole's body. Cole shook uncontrollably as the energy of pure post rushed into him, "I am, now and forever, the Lord of the Post!" Light rushed throughout the room and the halls of Xmission, blowing the front gates clear off of the dungeon entrance where Dlove and his comrades were standing. They glanced at each other quickly, "Maddox!" Dlove shouted as they sprinted inside and down the stairs to aid their master.
It was too late.
To be continued...
User Reviews
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-04-30 20:45:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WHERE THE FUCK IS OUR UBERIA?!
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-04-19 01:44:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know I'm being a hypocrite because I haven't written anything in a while, but are you going to get back to this?
Submitted by The_Original_Mac_Daddy_Surge (user info) at 2004-04-06 02:07:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
macdaddysurge is back and ready to attack with sick stuff for you to ingest
http://www.ubersite.com/m/29542
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-03-29 22:10:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm still waiting for the next one
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2004-03-26 15:39:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
definitely still good stuff, and your grammar has improved. id give you a cookie, but i havent got one. so, i shall instead confine myself to saying simply "good luck with the offspring" and bid you farewell.
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-03-23 22:50:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i have been a slack ass.. much to my apology. There is that baby thing.. ha ha
I'm going to try and get some more stuff out this week... if the wind is right...
Submitted by LaNa (user info) at 2004-03-22 17:20:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*phew*
I've been away for a lil bit and I thought that I would've missed a shit ton of stories... thankfully, Lord of the Post has been just as slack ass as I have. Well - except for the fact that he has a kid, is busy as all hell, and writes these stories... but that's just a tecnicality.
Now on to the inevitable Mac n LaNa love story.
We've all seen Mac's choices... here's my critique of said choices:
==============
I would like my love story to start with the following foreplay:
a)Sweet kisses from Mac starting from LaNa's toes all the way to her neck
b)A tender hearted love song written by Mac
c)Sharing a cold 40 of schlitz with a full moon shining over the junkyard
...and Mac chose option C. That's fine with me - as long as we have straws. We all know you can't properly enjoy a 40 of Schlitz Malt Liquor without a straw!
==============
To be followed with:
a)A soft hand slipping up her shirt, teasing the forbidden
b)LaNa purring in Mac's ears
c)Finger in twat, roll it around a couple of times
...and Mac chose option B. Thats obvious because Mac doesn't have soft hands, so option a is out and well.. no comment on c.
==============
And then:
a) A light massaging of the legs, with curious hands floating upwards towards LaNa's erotic garden
b) LaNa's sweet lips caressing Mac's chest
c) Look over there LaNa, an albino squirrel - PLOP, In like flynn from behind
...and Mac chose option C. Awwwwwwwww! Albino squirrels are so damn cute!
==============
With a grand finale of:
a) two hearts and souls merge as one as the two lovers quiver together in orgasmic bliss
b) Heated sweaty moaning and growning, followed by a powerful orgasmic scream in unison
c) Mac saying, "See there, don't tell me I never made you anything, just look at that pretty pearl necklace
...Surprise! Mac chose C. He really is a sweet, caring and thoughtful guy. He barely touches me the whole time AND he gives me a pretty necklace. Now ladies, could you ask for anything better than that?
Here's the part where I write some witty and funny ending to this babble... except for the fact that I can't think of anything witty or funny so I'm left with "Bye".
~LaNa :)
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-03-15 23:00:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
great as ever.
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-03-15 22:30:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks guys, should have some more posts this weekend, maybe this week
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-03-09 13:31:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, this story is awesome...
Submitted by Mac (user info) at 2004-03-08 02:05:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
c
b
c
c
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-03-07 23:11:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How the fuck am I supposed to know? I'll let You and LaNa tell me. Why don't the both of you vote on the best answers, and the story will be written based on a combination of the following multiple choice
Write your own Uberian Love story:
I would like my love story to start with the following foreplay:
a)Sweet kisses from Mac starting from LaNa's toes all the way to her neck
b)A tender hearted love song written by Mac
c)Sharing a cold 40 of schlitz with a full moon shining over the junkyard
To be followed with:
a)A soft hand slipping up her shirt, teasing the forbidden
b)LaNa purring in Mac's ears
c)Finger in twat, roll it around a couple of times
And then:
a) A light massaging of the legs, with curious hands floating upwards towards LaNa's erotic garden
b) LaNa's sweet lips caressing Mac's chest
c) Look over there LaNa, an albino squirrel - PLOP, In like flynn from behind
With a grand finale of:
a) two hearts and souls merge as one as the two lovers quiver together in orgasmic bliss
b) Heated sweaty moaning and growning, followed by a powerful orgasmic scream in unison
c) Mac saying, "See there, don't tell me I never made you anything, just look at that pretty pearl necklace
You decide
Submitted by Mac (user info) at 2004-03-07 22:54:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"...Let's just hope Mac's not a two post chump..."
Bitch please. You know how daddy rolls.
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-03-07 22:49:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh God - That's great - We are having Uberia fantasies now aren't we? Let's just hope Mac's not a two post chump
Submitted by LaNa (user info) at 2004-03-07 21:42:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-03-05 01:03:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
LaNa you're a dirty, dirty girl.... Uberia will not be finished until I include the heated love scene between the giant and the healer
================
dirty? moi? Never! *smirk*
...just make sure to turn off my lil death kissing thing - I think that might ruin the giant's day, and if he's on top of me - mine too!
did I actually just go there?
yes I did...
Thats it! I'm cut off!
~LaNa :)
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-03-07 11:26:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Woo, I just caught up with the story. We just moved and my brother was lazy and bitchy about setting up the network.
Anyway, good work yet again.
Can I have a heated lovescene? Hehehe.... mmmmmm... heated.....
Ole to you my friend.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-03-07 06:17:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
it's impossible for me to read all 20 chapters of this.
would a one of two paragraph summary be possible? or at least an indication of the basic story?
such a summary might also be handy for other curious folks checking this out for the first due to your recent celebrity.
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-03-06 01:26:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Original Submissions
There were no items that matched your criteria
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Everything you ever wanted to know about BLITZKREIG_BOB
User id: 4584
Registered on or around: 2003-12-31 09:26:34
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 198
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 0
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 0.00
Well Jesus BB, I would have at least thought you'd have the balls to submit something before you punked up and said something. Quit being a used tampon and do something on this site, instead of being one of the many who decide all they will do is sit and watch.
Submitted by Fortune_Faded (user info) at 2004-03-05 02:19:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Neh! cant be bothered reading, but otha people rated good, so its good by me :D
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-03-05 02:06:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What about the heated love scene between General TaK and Anansie?
That's right TaK, I didn't forget.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-03-05 01:30:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Woo
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-03-05 01:20:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like it.
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-03-05 01:03:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
LaNa you're a dirty, dirty girl.... Uberia will not be finished until I include the heated love scene between the giant and the healer
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-03-05 01:02:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Breasts...mmmmmmm......
Why is it that when God decided to make the breasts the biggest (I.E. after childbirth) he also instilled the rule that you are forbidden to touch them?
I'm really glad you all are still enjoying (Well, most of you) my posts. Some people don't like the fantasy genre, some people think that my writing and grammer is bad (I agree, especially when I write at 3am/6am etc and only skim it once) but I will say this in my defense - Alot of this stuff is on the fly. I read posts and learn about people, and try to incorporate in the story, especially fresh stuff. God knows I had no idea what a McGuddah was when I began Uberia, and Razor's burst of energy will definately have to make it in the story (in fun).
For those of you who truly read the story and enjoy it, thank you. I honestly hope you guys believe the following:
I am most certainly NOT a hitwhore. Jesus, Mac said it best, my posts average under 500 hits per chapter.
Submitted by LaNa (user info) at 2004-03-04 17:41:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Did anyone else notice that he kept referring to breasts?
no?
uhm...yea...ok... neither did I.
*whistling*
~LaNa
Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2004-03-04 15:20:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice. Too bad the others below think differently. I think everyone is just taking sides with Razor, because he is more popular. They fail to see the badassishness that is this series.
Submitted by whataefag (user info) at 2004-03-04 14:43:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
These things obviously take a long time, so I'm not going to give this a negative rating. But I never feel like reading the whole thing. I doubt anyone really does ... I don't know, maybe I just don't jive with the whole "fantasy" genre thing, or maybe this is just really too metafictional for me. I really don't think these things take any talent and are too formulaic for my liking. Probably I just haven't been following it and really don't want to think about the people of ubersite warding off demons, building fires, and protecting themselves from evil forces. Now write about these people having sex, vandalizing, and living egocentric existences and I might find it a little more engaging.
But apparently a lot of people find seeing their name in HTML stimulating, and you have a little one who keeps you up all night, so whatever floats your boat ...
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-03-04 14:38:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
dat true Mac
I pointed this out on Razor's post about this, but seriously if the only purpose in this was to generate hits and end up on the big most viewed list, why would he have created a separate username just to post this series?
Submitted by Mac (user info) at 2004-03-04 12:50:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
BLITZKREIG_BOB and anyone else who thinks LOTP is hit whoring,
LOTP has posted 20 chapters, plus a "movie poster". That's 21 posts in all, gaining him a grand total of 6,018 hits as of 12:38pm today. That's less than 300 hits per post. Hell, none of his posts have even hit the 500 hit mark. Most of them are barely pulling in 200. These are not impressive numbers. He's never been on most heated or gotten much attention (until yesterday) so there's really no chance in hell that he'll ever make the most viewed authors list. That's not his intention. His intention is to write a kick ass creative story that people enjoy. All of his posts get good ratings, becuase the only people reviewing them are the ones who take the time to read them. And after they have read them, they love it, so they give the +2 it deserves. This isn't hit whoring. Hit whoring is posting things like "Fuck some damn liberal mexican fag niggers, they shouldn't be allowed in my country, which sucks anyhow." Posts like those get hits and heat. They are hit whoring, this is not. Not to mention that the majority of the people who have been fans weren't even mentioned in the story until recently. PMJ has been reading this saga since the beginning and always has good things to say, and just now (chapter 20) he gets mentioned in one sentence. So it's not like he's been chiming in with a "thanks for mentioning me because I'm cool, let's be friends +2". Him and everyone else have been giving this good reviews for one reason and one reason only- it kicks ass.
Submitted by jonukah (user info) at 2004-03-04 12:36:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, you know you are self centered when the first thing you do when reading a post is:
Click edit
Scroll down
Click Find (on this page)...CTRL+F
Find what: "Jonukah"
+ 2 in good faith.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-03-04 12:29:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YEEHAW
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-03-04 12:15:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet ass fight scene, my man.
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-03-04 12:09:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i only got a spot mention...
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2004-03-04 12:03:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-03-04 11:55:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oooh a twist! are the hero's of uberia doomed? I'll be staying tuned for more!
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-03-04 11:38:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
razor rip-off....
Submitted by Mac (user info) at 2004-03-04 11:03:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Absolutely awesome. Glad to see that PMJ made the real story. Here's the background on his character for those interested- http://www.ubersite.com/m/26943
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-03-04 10:28:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not very creative...as if I could do better.
Let's see how many userIDs I can shoehorn into one post...that'll bring the hits.
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2004-03-04 10:27:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I came back woooo!
Good Chapter, very good indeed.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-03-04 10:10:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Did I just cut a guy's arm off and beat him with it? Kick ass.
That battle with Maddoxx was cool. But I hope he's not really dead.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-03-04 10:02:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fingerbang did not suffer nearly enough.
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-03-04 09:43:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Once again I say to you:
Kick Ass.
Submitted by Dlove (user info) at 2004-03-04 09:18:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ditto on what potatomanjack said LOTP, Uber has been pissing me off lately, with the shit posts, and old schools like Razor being a fucking moron took the cake. I pretty much only look on here now for these stories.
How's the baby?
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-03-04 09:02:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HOLY AWESOMENESS ABOVE!!!
My favorite chapter so far, and not just because I'm in the story. The battle with Maddox kicked some major ass.
Dude, I don't think there are any posts I look forward to as much as yours.
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-03-04 06:45:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The sad thing is...
Squattail
User id: 823
Registered on or around: 2003-04-07 04:34:22
# Messages posted: 132
# Reviews written: 1615
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 2063
# Hits: 38097
Average rating of all messages: -0.26
You've been at it for quite awhile, and people still don't like you
Don't worry, one day reach your goals and become a big fat zero
Submitted by squattail (user info) at 2004-03-04 05:46:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you didn't even wait for your last shit-ass post to cool off
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-03-04 05:46:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, I'm up all night with the little one - WHOOOOHOOOOOOO I need C-C-C-Coffee, is it morning already???