RoomMate 1 - The Chickfight (4950 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.46 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Krystal <imtheluckystar.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-03-04 19:10:33 EST
Well, this is going to be a totally pointless story, the whole damn series. Oh, yeah, I said it, a SERIES. So if you're looking for substance, go away. If you're nice, like Phoenix, or enjoy a good drama-rama, get comfy, put the kids to bed, and pee. It's gonna be a long drive.
Ok...Well there were just the three of us friends, Me (Krystal), Kim, and Jennifer. Being the ultra-popular kids we were (NOT!!!) we decided to expand the group, to offer a bit of 'protection' if you will (godfather accent)
Anyhoo, we became friends with three other girls, Janee`, Ashley, and Danielle. We hung out and had all kinds of fun all summer between 10th and 11th grade. We had parties, got drunk and high, all the fun 16 year old stuff.
Now, as with happens with all girls who are dramatic and dumb, little jealousies and fights began to break out. Suddenly, all these rumors implicated Jennifer and I in some stupid thing I don't even remember. Now, it's Jen and Krystal VS Kim, Danielle, Janee`, and Ashley.
After a lot of phone calls and shit talking, it all comes to a head one day at break at school. This girl Tiphany (no one has yet figured out how she had anything to do with any of this) comes up to Jennifer and threatens to kick her ass. So we yell at her and she lumbers off. Tiphany's brothers are all gang-bangers, one is in jail...and she's the size of a small NFL player.
This same day at lunch, it was palpable in the air that something was going to happen. It was goin down TODAY. Jennifer and I went to get some 'nutricious' school food (i.e. dingdongs and cheetos) when catastrophe, I mean, Tiphany, struck. She jumped Jennifer from behind and knocked her out with one solid knuckle to the temple. Jennifer fell and the behemoth jumped on like a dog in heat and started whaling on her.
I don't know the details, I don't remember much except for the blur that was my flight, many say i dropped my shit and DOVE on the big Samoan broad. I remember grabbing a ponytail and yelling "bitch", but that's pretty generic.
Because not two seconds later some girl named Jenna (who also had nothing to do with this) jumped on ME! Stupid Jenna, dresses are for girls. She was wearing some spaghetti strapped denim dress, with cheerleader shorts underneath (borrowed from Danielle, what a friend!) And she grabbed my hair. So of course i grab hers right back.
Meanwhile, Jen had come to and kicked Tiphany in the girl-nutz and got up, and was grabbed by a Nark (read- on-campus police)...
Jenna didn't know when she was beat. I had given her a bald spot by this time, no kidding, and she kept comin back for more. The fight ended when i grabbed the chest part of her dress amd gave it a good yank.
DOWN went the dress. OUT and UP went the fake silicon boobies like they sell in Frederick's of Hollywood. IN to the lap of my freshman brother, ironically.
You could barely hear the clapping over the hysterical laughter as everyone took turns looking at the falsies.
User Reviews
Submitted by Mollification (user info) at 2004-04-03 01:20:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BonesForBucks (user info) at 2004-03-05 08:23:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Keep these coming. When the girl with the dress go invoved, after what you said about her, I was expecting the dress to come off. But you totally threw me with the fake breasts falling out. GReat stuff.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2004-03-05 01:41:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2004-03-04 22:37:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i too, was ready to -2 this to hell up until the end.
now i think you should IM me.
AIM: DJMattB241
Submitted by Thunderlips (user info) at 2004-03-04 21:50:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Who did the what now?
Submitted by Bennywild (user info) at 2004-03-04 20:57:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Had trouble following it.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-03-04 20:57:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
"Being the ultra-popular kids we were (NOT!!!) we decided to expand the group, to offer a bit of 'protection' if you will (godfather accent)"
That gave me an overwhelming sense of "ew." Way to pull it up at the end though.
Submitted by Mr.Bungle (user info) at 2004-03-04 20:30:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Here are 2 excepts i had to bring up:
So we yell at her and she lumbers off. Tiphany's brothers are all gang-bangers, one is in jail...and she's the size of a small NFL player.
And
Jennifer and I went to get some 'nutricious' school food (i.e. dingdongs and cheetos)
Sounds like you would be the size of a large offensive lineman with a diet like that!
Submitted by fingerbang (user info) at 2004-03-04 20:00:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you still post worse shit than me
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2004-03-04 19:27:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
-2 till the last 3 lines.
not bad though.
Submitted by Luckystar (user info) at 2004-03-04 19:22:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well it was a spur of the moment decision...
Having never been in a fight and all...
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-03-04 19:21:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey! Someone thinks I'm nice! That kicks ass...
How unbelievably mortifying to have fake boobies falling out for all to see - especially in high school. Good ending, hope you've all mended your ways now.
;-)
Phoenix
Submitted by Trout (user info) at 2004-03-04 19:14:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny.
Word of advice - if someone is on top of your friend hitting them you kick them in the head.
Don't jump on them.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-03-04 19:13:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hmmmmmmmm.. good ending, the rest made my head hurt.