Certified hardcore. (949 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.43 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lyric (View user info) at 2004-03-05 04:50:30 EST
"Fuck, man, there's a lot of people here tonight," said Aaron, as he joined the rest of us back in the little room behind the stage.
As if we needed reminding. Tonight was the first night we'd ever played a venue this big, or even this kind of music at a venue this size. I'm panicking. I don't know if I am ready for this. It will be fun, though. Our covers consist of the usual shite that you hear bar bands play, but we're busting out a couple of fun ones, like a punkish cover of "I Saw Her Standing There" by the Beatles, and a very mocking cover of Christina Aguilera's "Dirrty". I have the vocals for that one. It's going to be good times, we won't fuck it up, we're gonna be awesome, fucking rights!
Mel pulls me out of my internal verbal psyche-up with, "We're on, guys, it's 9:58. Let's go."
Show time.
I walk out onto the stage, picking my way past the cables and the raised drum area. Scanning the huge room, I realize that this place is actually a lot busier than it usually is at 10:00. I guess being a local band, everyone we know is coming out to support us. Great. Like we need more pressure.
I reach my designated side of the stage, and pick up my trusty white Fender bass. After pulling the strap over my shoulder, I quickly hammer out a few scales while adjusting the volume. I turn back around. Across the stage, Aaron's already got his guitar on, Mel's confering with the sound guy about her microphone, and James is idly twirling a drumstick around. He looks the most calm, but then again, his last gig with his old band involved playing the Warped Tour. This bar is nothing to him.
Mel makes her way back to her microphone in the middle and picks up her own guitar. Strap goes over her head, she slams out a riff, and then cuts the sound. She looks at me, and I smile. I feel sick. This is it.
"Alrighty, everyone, up for their first set of the evening is local group Stolen Blind!"
Behind me, I hear James say softly, "Alright, guys, here we go." And then the drumsticks, leading us off onto the rhythm: *click* *click* *click* *click*
We launch into the first song. The rest passes in a blur of music, jumping around, bantering between songs, and watching people get up and start dancing. With that, we make it through our first set. We spend time in between mingling with the crowd, dancing, having a drink or two. The second set will be the real test, because that's when the bar reaches capacity, and we also get to play one of *our* songs, not a cover.
We all head for the stage as the DJ finishes something by Britney Spears and announces us again. I step up to the mic.
"Well, I must say that everytime I hear that Britney Spears song, I like it.... even less!" The crowd gives me the expected drunken laughs that I am looking for. "And while we're at, let's all give Aaron a big hand, folks.... he just got off a 2 year addiction to meth!" The crowd laughs, claps, cheers, as Aaron cuts in, "Would you get it straight? It was coke, and it was 3 years." More laughing. Man, drunks are great. I could say, "Hey, everyone! James just took a shit behind his drumset!" and you know they'd just laugh and clap. Good times. Anyways, after my lame jokes, we then rip into our Christina Aguilera cover. It goes over really, really well, and by now, we're all flying high on the adrenaline. We can't screw this up! They love us! We're having a great time! We're not hardcore like the Sex Pistols or Siouxsie Sioux, but we still rule.
This is when the fight broke out on the dance floor.
We're up there, playing through a cover of "Killing in the Name of", and it looks like that's what they're trying to do down there. But, the band plays on, and this is where I earned my "hardcore" status, halfway through our first public performance.
We're right at the "FUCK YOU, I WON'T DO WHATCHA TELL ME!!!" lyrics, when I happen to glance up mid-jump... just in time to see a beer bottle. Airborne. Headed straight at my face. I have time to maybe blink before it hits me. My forehead explodes with whitehot pain, and I stumble backwards, my hands up to my head. The music stops as my bandmates look at me in shock. My thoughts are going haywire, but out of all of them, one clearly manifests itself: "What would Johnny Rotten do in this situation??" With that, I push myself upright, blink blood out of my eye, and go over to the microphone.
"Hey! HEY! STOP FUCKING FIGHTING, BITCHES, YOU'RE RUINING OUR SET!" I'm so pissed off, and I know I look badass, with blood dripping down my face, and a snarl on my lips. The fight finally gets broken up, and the offending parties are kicked out. I continue yelling.
"When I find the fucker who threw that fucking bottle, I am going to take the same bottle and shove it SO FAR up your fucking ass, you'll have to pull it from your mouth to get it out!"
I am hardcore.
Then I yelled at my band to start the next song. James counted us in, and off we went.
We had a fairly uneventful rest of the night, until we finished our last set. I got off the stage, and was approached by a good looking guy with a beer in each hand. He introduced himself, and then sheepishly admitted that he was the one who threw the beer bottle. It turns out its trajectory wasn't meant for my head, but rather for the two morons fighting on the dance floor. It's funny how fucked up your aim becomes when you're drunk. I sighed, too tired to try to hit him, or attempt to shove the beer up his asshole, like I had promised. I had already acquired "hardcore" status. I didn't need to hammer that fact home. I drank the beer he bought for me instead.
The best part of the night? We've been asked to play again next month. First step, local bar. Next step, the world!
User Reviews
Submitted by CoreaPeekay (user info) at 2004-09-27 02:03:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I <3 fenders.
Oh, and for threatening anal probes via a beer bottle, thats cool too.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2004-09-26 22:46:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Girl all pissed and bloody AND playing bass. That is so incredibly hot.
Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-09-09 21:00:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate you for having something Fender. I will get a Strat one day.
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2004-09-09 19:48:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The music should never stop.
Submitted by Natalia_Everitt (user info) at 2004-09-09 18:59:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+20 for the Sex Pistols! -18 for no pictures.
Great post.
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-09-09 18:48:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lyric rules.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2004-03-05 11:02:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was quite entertained...something that is becoming more rare by the day here on Uber.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-03-05 07:48:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ya right. You suck, and so does this lame ass fake story.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-03-05 07:42:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm just trying to be helpful bones, you silly cunt.
this is not harping, believe me. if i start harping you will know it. i am a hardcore harper.
lyric's hardcore claim, as it stands, is a flaw in this otherwise worthwhile story that reduces its appeal. that's all i'm trying to convey. maybe i'm wrong, of course. in any case, its all just a matter of taste.
now, i'll say somethign else nice too: the detail as the band sets up and prepares to play etc is well done and engaging.
that's my last word on this topic.
Submitted by stevo (user info) at 2004-03-05 07:29:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Sid vicious could barely even play bass, he was a big time poser.
+1 for taking a bottle to the face like a bad mother fucker
Submitted by BonesForBucks (user info) at 2004-03-05 07:23:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bass players rule. I really like the first person perspective of a local band. I fully support local bands.
Shandythedog, give it up. When you keep harping on one point it just makes people pay less attention to you.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-03-05 06:23:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ok, well let's say....
after the set the bottle throwing cunt who you threatened trapped you in the noisome toilets and sliced you up with a knife and left you gurgling and whimpering.
how would this effect your hardcore status??
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-03-05 06:07:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Who knows, if I had gotten hit in the head with a beer bottle any other time, I probably would have cried instead of shrugging it off and using the adrenaline to yell at the crowd. That would have been nice and cowardly ;)
And no, in that same situation, Johnny Rotten would have probably jumped off the stage and into the middle of the fight. And he wouldn't have written this story.... he would have picked up the monitor and tossed it through the window.
I am not Johnny Rotten.
But I am hardcore.
Oh yes.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-03-05 05:53:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
lyric, i didn't doubt for a minute this was a real experience. there is an honest quality about it that i like.
i was just trying to suggest portryaing yourself a bit more in the direction of bufoon and coward might create a more interesting balance/contrast with your act of bravado.
there are many ways you can present a 'true story', obviously.
also, from what i've heard of the sex pistols, as young chaps they really were hardcore. ie living totally outsides the bounds of normal secure society in a completely fucked up manner. in other words, i doubt they ever dreamed youthfully of being hardcore, because they just fucking were.
Submitted by drky (user info) at 2004-03-05 05:50:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Standard female bass player +2
Just kidding ...
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2004-03-05 05:17:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
pretty funny
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-03-05 05:13:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ha, it's not made up. I wish it was, beer bottles fucking hurt.
I'm 21, and this is the first big thing I've ever done. Before this performance, I had played bass for a friend who did quiet folky acoustic guitar stuff at small coffee houses. And before that, I was a drummer for a punk band that played house parties. Kick ass times.
But thanks for the 0 anyways.
Sideburns: Yay!!! We shall talk later to discuss plans ;)
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-03-05 05:06:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
also, i'm sure johnny or sid etc would never have written something like this.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2004-03-05 05:02:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well, i read it all.
its an interesting perspective, the young band performing, all nervous etc
for my taste, the balance between playing the hero and playing the goose needs to be weighted a bit more strongly in favour of the goose.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-03-05 04:58:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YES!
..I'll marry you.