Masturbation is my yoga –or—Friendships are holy (717 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.16 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DyerBm (View user info) at 2004-03-08 01:08:11 EST
I've had plenty of friends in my life up to this point and I'm sure that there will be plenty more to come. Some of my best friendships have come out of situations where we hated each other at first. The thing that makes friends so important is their ability to not only be there when things are down, but to bring a smile to your face when you think all is lost.
Friends can instill a new confidence in you when you're doubtful. Friends can turn a lonely night into the craziest fucking new years party you've ever been to. The list of reasons to have a good friend is endless. They simply are a necessity.
My desire to make this post on the importance of friends, stems from my deep appreciation of my two best friends. In every hardship I have faced, they have both been there to keep me optimistic. Every time I broke up with a girlfriend, they had my back. These guys define the term *Wingman*. Trust me, they've bailed me out of trouble you wouldn't believe. I couldn't even tell you what depression is like, because they have always been there in my down times to make me smile again.
On every new experience in the game of life that I have set out on, they have been there. Now that I'm married, the friendship's have only strengthened. They support the fact that I got married and have not yet failed to restore my positive outlook on life when my wife and I argue about dumb shit. I know both men and women have best friends. However, I also know for a fact that men's friends are the truest. A mans best friend is for life. Usually developed during the early teens, with a trust and respect that is unbreakable.
What exactly makes a man's friend the truest? Well, firstly and most importantly let me point out that yes, everybody, men and women, have friends that come and go. People grow apart, tell lies and sometimes just get boring. But this is where a man's true friend's wont fall behind. A man's best friend will stand side by side with him, joining together to workout any task at hand. And a task at hand is exactly my point. Gentlemen, if you consider yourself a good friend, then take a moment right now, to not only show your respect, but your utter gratitude for your right/left hand and that dirty minded Johnson of yours. I have much respect for my boy's Mr. right-hand-man and his sidekick one-eyed jack. You guy's have been there through think and thin and you kick serious ass! Thank you for all the good times of the past and thanks in advance for the future adventures.
In closing, my penis and hand don't actually have pet names assigned by me or anyone for that matter. However, if you have picked one up along the way please feel free to share.
User Reviews
Submitted by homeboy (user info) at 2004-03-12 18:08:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am the good shepard and you are the "SHEEP".seriously now, you take this shit way to personal.and how can you be so offended by rejection on the computer. I can see if one of your friends rejects you. But this is just a mother fucking web site you mother fucking puppet.I know you will probalby try to come up with some witty thing like you lack something and your immature,cause thats how you end most of your conversations. that or the puppet thing.but i read your shit, cause for the most part you talk about interesting things.how can you say that im just some high school fuck. i think you know me better than you really know.Like i said before Jesus loves you:)
Submitted by hendrixjrr (user info) at 2004-03-12 13:11:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm about to go give my friends a high five...no, a low five.
Submitted by dagirlygirl <dagirlygirl.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-03-12 13:00:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hey just kiddin i dont know you and about your dick i saw in one of your posts you wrote your name as brian so dont start freakin out thinking i know who you are...kinda clever huh???
Submitted by dagirlygirl <dagirlygirl.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-03-12 12:57:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey i understand that this is a joke but come on now dont you have something better to write about?? and dont think i dont know about your small dick brian.....
Submitted by dyerbm (user info) at 2004-03-11 23:47:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You could be right homeboy. Really, I have to say I don't like rejection all that much. But who the fuck does? However, my replies (to the people that came here for no other reason than to tell someone off) wasn't my attempt at avoiding your *rejection*. It was me saying that if you have nothing to say but ignorant shit then what's the point of replying? Jacko is immature and lacks any real argument as to the post's level of suck. And dadirlygirl assumed what my idea of friendships was without even consulting me. And to top that low level assumption off, she somehow missed the point that this shit is a joke.
I have no clue why you're so obsessed with me or my post's. I've done nothing to provoke this shit. Which is what of course leads me to the conclusion that you are in fact a high school student or a undeveloped sorry excuse for an adult.
Submitted by homeboy (user info) at 2004-03-11 21:36:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hey man, it doesnt sound like you handle rejection to well.i think you take this shit to personal.
Submitted by dyerbm (user info) at 2004-03-11 06:39:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow dagirlygirl, without your well researched critical analysis of my view of friendship and penis size, based only off this post(that is a joke), I would be lost. You caught me.
Submitted by dagirlygirl <dagirlygirl.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-03-10 19:02:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think you should rethink on what you said friendship is!!!! from what i know you dont understand what friendship really means... and you must have a small dick if you talk about it so much!
Submitted by dyerbm (user info) at 2004-03-08 01:46:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jocko_Johnson (user info) at 2004-03-08 01:36:25 (#)
Ranking: -2
Insert penis into your daddies mouth when he is sleeping.
Jack penis off and ejaculate into nostril cavity.
Drown father in semen and marry your mom.
This post sucked. Worse than suck...it was just total shit. Your depressed? go fuck one of your frat boy closet homosexual rapists.
Whatever you do...don't ever write again!
If this reply had come from someone that didn't suck shit worse than me, I might have actually cared about your criticisms. However, even if you were well known for good post's, I still would lack respect for you seeing as you can't make a valid argument as to how this post sucks besides calling names. You are a fucking puppet!
Everything you ever wanted to know about Jocko_Johnson
User id: 6400
Registered on or around: 2004-02-28 01:14:42
# Messages posted: 12
# Reviews written: 93
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 169
# Hits: 2211
Average rating of all messages: -1.14
Submitted by Jocko_Johnson (user info) at 2004-03-08 01:36:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Insert penis into your daddies mouth when he is sleeping.
Jack penis off and ejaculate into nostril cavity.
Drown father in semen and marry your mom.
This post sucked. Worse than suck...it was just total shit. Your depressed? go fuck one of your frat boy closet homosexual rapists.
Whatever you do...don't ever write again!
Submitted by Azure (user info) at 2004-03-08 01:17:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice twist, and made me smile
Cheers,
Azure
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-03-08 01:16:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like this for a number of reasons, first of all because friendships should be celebrated, and second of all because of the clever way you set this up with the 'wingmen' thing.. I can't see straight right now so this is a little difficutl. Ok, now I forget my point. Sorry this review sucks but I think the post was good.
SpikeGoddess