Friends...and Beer (924 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by d'ohnuts (View user info) at 2004-03-08 09:47:55 EST
I have suffered from major depresson since about the age of 15, with bouts lasting anywhere from a few weeks to the better part of a year. It's a horrible thing to experience, really, for those of you who just can't relate.
One of the things that has always made things more manageable for me (besides meds...and weed), has been friends. Really good friends, people you know you can count on no matter what, are in short supply. I'm lucky enough to have a few.
One night about four years ago, two of those friends knew I hadn't been feeling so great, and tried to get me to go out and have a few drinks to alleviate my sorrows. I refused. The next morning I came out to my car to leave for work, and found some fifty or so napkins plastered across my windshield. The following post details the writing on those napkins. I'm posting this more because I want those napkins recorded for posterity, but I think at least some of the items listed will be appreciated by everybody...while some are most definitely specific to me.
Richard,
Molly and I have listed on these napkins all the things we think you should be happy for! We drank while we wrote them, and listed the round of drinks we were on at the time. YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE!
Much love,
Molly and Sarah
Round 2:
Flip books
Pop-up books (because we all know you can't read)
Your sisters
Private bathrooms
Porn mags
Baby oil
Gold Bond Medicated Powder
Solid Gold dancers
GIRL'S GONE WILD
Styx-Mr. Roboto
Bombay Company
Bikinis
Stella
Videotape of Mike's "E.T." impersonation
Malcom X glasses
Old women trying to take your shirt off to see your tattoos
The one person who really makes an ass of themselves at parties
Vans (the shoes)
American Beauty
Sinister Force
Girls with big booties
Asian Porn
Old ladies who like to fox-trot
Apples
Clean underwear
Blow-jobs for under $5
The Simpsons
Law and Order re-runs
Beer
Puppies
The bunny who loves you
Fireworks
Beer
Cotton candy
Jello Wrestling
Chris, and the fact that he didn't set your car on fire
Kittens
Creed (because you could make a better band)
Britney Spears (Come on, you know you want her)
Sideshow Bob
Patsy Cline
Swimming pool full of beer
Museums
Friends who want you to have a beer on a Monday night
Sarah
Molly, to spit on
Hamsters, and the people who juggle them
Everclear (the grain, not the band)
Fat people
Hippies
A bus load of frat boys going over a cliff in a bus
WE JUST HAD A SHOOTER AND A NATTY-BOH, SO THE LIST CONTINUES...
p.s. YOU SUCK!
Round 5:
Islands in the stream
Count Chocula
Sushi
Days off (word!)
Words
Saying "whoopidee-doo" for no reason at all
Powerpuff Girls
Imitation wood paneling
Being 29
Round 6:
The fact that you didn't have the shot we just had
That there are 20 bars in this town, and you go to the same two
The Spanish Channel
Spice
Cartoon Network
Sponge Bob Square Pants
Casey N. (moving to New York)
Crack, and the people who love it
Chris Rock
Mingling
Molly's boobs
Irish people
Dirty ass French people
"Special" people
Short busses
The preservation of memories
Mud wrestling
Jerry Lewis
That you don't live in Baltimore
Helmets
Beer
The Pixies
Kicking ass
Getting out of jail free
WE LOVE YOU!
Round 7:
Kisses from somebody
Finding your car
Huh? Yummy!
Writing notes on napkins to your dearest friends
LOVE YOU!
You suck because you aren't here
WE LOVE YOU!
Richard,
We wish you could have shared in our experience. We did it all for you.
Suck ass. Carry on with your life.
Much love,
Molly and Sarah.
p.s.
WE HOPE THIS IS YOUR CAR!!!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-09-12 15:01:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
stfu oathmeal
Submitted by tatersninja (user info) at 2008-09-12 14:54:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i thot i'd -2 your shit....
but that's awesome and made me pee a little bit. (not from laughing, but from that warm fuzzy feeling i'm not used to having.)
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-12-05 16:22:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I demand that you tell me where you are from in Annapolis and why you think that it is a shit town. I also demand a helicopter and a football helmet full of cottage cheese.
Submitted by dohnuts (user info) at 2004-03-25 12:27:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HaHaHa...Ah, you know, a little bit of both my friend, a little bit of both. Whatever it takes to pay the bills...
Submitted by smokymtcsw (user info) at 2004-03-24 17:59:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are in the business? Of therapy or selling weed? hahhahah good post.
Submitted by dohnuts (user info) at 2004-03-08 17:52:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Depression can be purely chemical in cause and nature; but just as often, intense emotional experiences (particularly in childhood) can actually change the brain's chemistry/neurotransmission, so you end up with a chemical problem caused by emotional trauma.
The fix for which, as in my case, is a mixture of meds and therapy. And good friends.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-03-08 17:31:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would also love it if someone could explain to me what a panic attack is.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-03-08 17:26:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is nice but isn't depression more chemical than emotional? There is an odd phenomenon in my family where everyone either suffers from depression or is ADD. I swear it's true. Oh and guess which one I am, go on guess.
I'm kidding that was rhetorical.
Submitted by roxxxy (user info) at 2004-03-08 13:22:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
your friends seem cool
Dont let life get ya down! smile :)
Submitted by GreaterThanBest (user info) at 2004-03-08 13:02:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
some of those made me laugh
ya have some fun friends
I want napkins on my car too! (not really just place them in a nice envelope)
Submitted by dohnuts (user info) at 2004-03-08 10:57:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2004-03-08 10:26:41 (#)
Ranking: -2
I have suffered from major depresson since about the age of 15,
Didnt read any more. From 15? God, Ill bet your a barrel of laughs.
---------------------------------------------------
Most of the world's funniest people suffer from some type of affective disorder.
Plus, when I learned around the age of 24-25 (I'm 33 now) that if I just stayed on my med, stuck to the bong, and surrounded myself with good people, I became a much happier person. A couple of years of therapy didn't hurt much either. I recommend it for everyone, healthy and sane or not. Of course, I'm in the business, so that's a biased opinion.
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-03-08 10:31:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your friends seem pretty cool.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2004-03-08 10:26:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I have suffered from major depresson since about the age of 15,
Didnt read any more. From 15? God, Ill bet your a barrel of laughs.
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-03-08 10:22:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Made me smile.
If only you knew what I almost posted last night. Thanks for this. All my best as you deal with your depression.
SpikeGoddess