Roommate Prequel #3 - Rollin' Rollin' Rollin' etc (1093 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.86 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Phoenix <volklcess.at.aol.com> (View user info) at 2004-03-08 13:09:37 EST
Roommate Prequel #2: http://www.ubersite.com/m/26524
I grew up in a rich town nestled snuggly on the north shore of Lake Tahoe. I moved there with my family in August of 1987 when I was just a month shy of turning 5 (and the town wasn't even considered a rich town yet); I stayed there all the way through June 2000 when I graduated high school. As is typical of rich towns - these secret hidden "hot spots" - the population was small. The closest thing we had to fast food was a Subway. There were a couple shopping centers, no night life, an elementary school, a middle school, a high school, a small ski resort, and large menacing homes resting cozily in the mountains among pine trees, staring down at the town and lake with their large glass eyes. There were 83 people in my graduating class - a town where everyone knew everyone and everyone knew everyone else. If you ever want to see the epitome of rich, small town living, check out Incline Village, Nevada.
I met Mike shortly after we started kindergarten. Our parents were friends, so we were always stuck playing together; we were always stuck with the same babysitter; we hated each other as little boys and little girls often do. I wanted to play with my Barbies and My Little Ponies, and Mike wanted to play with his trains and airplanes and G.I. Joes. I wanted to watch Strawberry Shortcake and Mike wanted to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Our friendship, or lack thereof, continued on throughout elementary and middle school. Our moms taught CCD class together (kind of like Sunday school - if you're Catholic you're probably familiar with it), our dads always got together for Monday Night Football, and Mike and I were thrown into tennis lessons and ski team together.
"But Mooo-ooommmm!" I'd whine in the best whiny little girl voice I could summon up (which wasn't too hard seeing as I was a whiny little girl). "Mike is stupid. I don't wanna play with Mike."
And then one day the gods smiled upon me: after the close of our eighth grade year, Mike moved to Reno to go to a Catholic high school, and I got to stay in Incline. I'd never have to see his stupid dumby face again. Or at least until my mom invited him to my high school graduation party, and he showed up with bells on. With bells on? Those aren't bells. Oh, my God. THEY'RE SPURS. And Wranglers? And oh good God, a COWBOY HAT? And those boots. Oh those BOOTS! I half expected to discover a piece of wheat hanging idly out of the corner of his mouth as he shoved a bunch of balloons in my direction and mumbled to his feet that he was glad they made it through high school. I hadn't seen Mike in more about 4 years and here he was, decked out in a cowboy get-up and telling his feet that he was going to college in Colorado that fall.
Mike's stay in Colorado didn't last long. When he came back to Reno, he'd warped himself into even more of a redneck and he'd brought along a "pal." I was living by myself at the time in a one-bedroom apartment, and as shallow as it may sound, Mike's "friend" is the reason I started hanging out with him again. But who could blame me? His buddy was absolutely adorable - huge brown eyes, unruly hair, a little pushy, big teeth, a soft coat - his name was Trav. Wait a second Phoenix...big teeth and a soft coat? Yup. Mike's "friend" was a horse.
Oh yes, it may come to you as a surprise, not only do I ride horses, but I'm quite good at it - I used to show them when I was in my younger years, but Mike's horse was deemed a blessing by me. It'd been a good 6 months since I'd ridden let alone even come with in arms length of a horse. So Mike and I started hanging out together again without the pressure of our parents because for him it meant a new friend and for me it meant riding.
When the lease on my one-bedroom ended, Mike was looking to move out of his parent's house, so we decided to get an apartment together up in the outskirts of Reno.
Don't get me wrong, Mike was far from my worst roommate ever, but he wasn't exactly a barrel full of monkeys either. Mike was sloppy, stinky, and had the worst aim ever when it came to pissing in a toilet. Our apartment forever was coated with the smell of rotten milk and B.O. and I hated living there.
In the apartment above ours was a family of Mexicans who were always jumping or dancing or something that caused a tremendous amount of noise; across from that apartment, two crackwhores were running a brothel out of the comfort of their living room, and across the way from us was a girl named Hallie who was always tripping on a drug she called DXM and came over to talk to our ceiling fan because she claimed it was much nicer than her's.
Meanwhile, Mike had decided to take being a "rustic cowboy" to a whole new level. He stopped showering. He stopped brushing his teeth (a theory we tested by placing a bottle of mouthwash on top of the toothbrush - neither the bottle nor the toothbrush ever moved). He smoked cigarettes with long slow drags and developed a drawl - a regular Marlboro Man. We had a saddle stand in the middle of our living room. We had a hat rack by the door. We had headstalls and bits strewn across our coffee table and couches. I might as well have just lived on a fucking ranch.
I didn't have a job outside of the radio station at the time so my weekdays were committed to Jerry Springer and Divorce Court (we didn't have cable or satellite - just good ol' rabbit ears). For God's sake, we might as well just have given up our electricity and lived like real pioneers. I plopped down on the couch on a fine day that was exactly like the last and would undoubtedly be just like the next, but on this particular day, I tossed Mike's cowboy hat across the room to make room for me and thus ensued an appalled Mike, staring out at the hat I'd tossed across the room like I'd just shot his mother.
"You know," he started slowly, quietly, HURT, "that's a sin where I come from." I sat in silence for a few minutes, deliberately took a long drag from my cigarette, sat in silence for a few more minutes, and then moved my gaze to include Mike.
"Mike. Where you come from? Jesus, pull your head out of your ass. You grew up in the same town as me. You're from Incline, man - one of the richest towns on the west coast."
The subject of whether or not Mike was a tried and true cowboy never arose again; I left it alone, and deep down Mike knew where his roots were and never breeched the subject around me again. It takes a certain kind of person to pretend he's something he's not, and Mike...well, I don't think Mike's ever really discovered who *he* is. I hope for his sake that one day he does. I moved out of my apartment a month early because Mike had introduced me to Matt and we had fallen madly in love...or however fairy tale endings go.
And where's Mike now? My 22-year old friend is dating a 30-year old and has become the father figure to her 13-year old son, and we suspect they're swingers because of the "banging" parties they throw that none of Mike's old friends are invited too - they only invite certain other couples. Mike, my pal since the good ol' days when I didn't even want to be his friend, won't even return my phone calls because he's so far detached himself from his group of friends for this girl. Maybe it's 'cause she really believes he's a cowboy....
User Reviews
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2004-03-11 19:48:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
More gold from the nordic princess of Nevada
-turtle
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-03-08 21:59:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
'a girl named Hallie who was always tripping on a drug she called DXM and came over to talk to our ceiling fan because she claimed it was much nicer than her's. '
Hahahahaha.....
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-03-08 18:19:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Kristen and Michelle - please check your e-mail!!
:-)
Phoenix
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-03-08 18:07:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Mr._Rude (user info) at 2004-03-08 17:58:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If by friend you mean someone whom I defecate on, than yes.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-03-08 17:55:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-03-08 17:26:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Mr._Rude (user info) at 2004-03-08 17:02:46 (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 because if you can't tell it in 2 parts then shut your fucking mouth. You think you're so important with your trilogy of vomit. Fuck you dickface.
Now it counts bitch.
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For some reason when I read this, I couldn't stop laughing. Trilogy of vomit. hehe. Will you be my best friend?
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-03-08 17:21:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Kristen - I haven't e-mailed you back yet 'cause you said you'd be on AIM a lot this week, so I've been waiting for you to log on. I'm crushed. :-( Hehe. I'll e-mail you back right now though.
:-)
Phoenix
Submitted by Mr._Rude (user info) at 2004-03-08 17:02:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 because if you can't tell it in 2 parts then shut your fucking mouth. You think you're so important with your trilogy of vomit. Fuck you dickface.
Now it counts bitch.
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-03-08 16:59:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you email me back yet?
Submitted by Mr. Rude at 2004-03-08 15:58:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 because if you can't tell it in 2 parts then shut your fucking mouth. You think you're so important with your trilogy of vomit. Fuck you dickface.
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-03-08 15:50:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i've stayed in incline village many many many times... I never saw any cows....
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-03-08 15:00:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Goldeneyes (user info) at 2004-03-08 14:53:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll give ya a +2 even though the pic has the "CORBIS" trademark plastered across it...
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I wasn't trying to claim it as my own or anything. I just wanted a cute picture of a horse and the only way to get a picture w/o the watermark was to register and I already get enough spam as it is...
:-)
Phoenix
Submitted by Goldeneyes (user info) at 2004-03-08 14:53:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll give ya a +2 even though the pic has the "CORBIS" trademark plastered across it...
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2004-03-08 14:43:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
she talked to your ceiling fan? that's golden
Submitted by smokymtcsw (user info) at 2004-03-08 14:28:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like reading about other peoples lives...this was good as always phoenix.
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-03-08 14:07:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
RB - she'd pop drugs of this stuff and come talk to our door or any inanimate object that would "talk" to her. We reprimanded her for doing drugs that are no better than shit that people mix in their bathtubs.
Some people are so weird....
:-)
Phoenix
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-03-08 14:02:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hallie who was always tripping on a drug she called DXM and came over to talk to our ceiling fan because she claimed it was much nicer than her's.
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DXM is the main drug in Robotussin. Hallie was probably robotripping, by where you take 12 to 24 times the normal amount and you hallicunate.
This is the "i cant find a drug dealer" drug. Not that i have ever tried it or anything...um yeah.
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-03-08 13:56:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow. Do you all thing I'm some sort of bad drug addict??
:-)
Phoenix
Submitted by Mr-Boo (user info) at 2004-03-08 13:54:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Phoenix, I don't think of you as a pothead, but you do post quite often about smoking drugs.
You big POTHEAD!!!.....teehee
Submitted by LacyFace16 (user info) at 2004-03-08 13:44:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i thought this was gonna be about exctasy....but i'm pleasantly surprised!
:o)
-Michelle
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-03-08 13:42:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahahaha, Mr. Boo! Do I really come across as that big of a pothead? hehe.
:-)
Phoenix
Submitted by GreaterThanBest (user info) at 2004-03-08 13:38:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
How about that
Submitted by Mr-Boo (user info) at 2004-03-08 13:34:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You fooled me...I thought the Rollin' Rollin' Rollin' etc, was going to be about rolling joints or something.
Submitted by smithy32 (user info) at 2004-03-08 13:10:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment