ever feel like killing some random asshole? (326 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.4 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Anthony <frogglywoggly.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-03-08 20:02:04 EST
The other day, while i was reading a book for my university course, i suddenly realized that for the past ten minutes, instead of absorbing a single word of what i was reading, i was daydreaming about how i would go about killing all the people i know who piss me off and how to get rid of their bodies. As you can understand, the fact that i had been doing this without even noticing freaked me out more than a little. However, it made me reflect on what stupid assholes serial killers really are. I swear, in ten minutes, i thought up techniques that would allow me to kill at least one person per day without ever being caught (unless the police hired a psychic to track me down). How the hell do psychopaths manage to get caught so easily? I won't go into details, for the sake of public safety (more importantly i don't want share my genius with any of you assholes).
After all this, i realised that i could never actually go through with it because i'm a raving pussy and killing people would gross me out way too much ( i don't enjoy hurting things: I'm even a fucking vegetarian, that's how much of a pussy i am).
Anyway, back to the point: I scared myself shitless by unconsciously plotting to kill hundreds of innocent people (guilty of pissing me off, though, but that's easy seeing as i'm such a crabby asshole pussy), and i couldn't forget about it, so rather than actually go through with it, i chose the next best thing: make a movie about it. So, my first ever short movie is in pre-production, and we start filming in April.
What i wanted to know, though, what started this whole post, was, am i weird? have you ever considered killing someone for pretty insignificant reasons (if you have, contact me, i'll let you know how.
Now that i look back on what i've just written, i realise that there is in fact no point to my message, and its not particularly interesting either. Oh well, i enjoyed writing it, so screw you guys, i'm going home.
User Reviews
Submitted by Lucifer_Industries (user info) at 2004-03-09 02:34:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah you can thank DNA testing for ruining my woodchipper technique.
Malone
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-03-08 23:12:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
only every day...
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-03-08 23:05:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
importantly i don't want share my genius with any of you assholes).
After all this, i realised that i could never actually go through with it because i'm a raving pussy and killing people would gross me out way too much ( i don't enjoy hurting things: I'm even a fucking vegetarian, that's how much of a pussy i am).
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clever red herrings, but you haven't thrown me off buddy. I'll be calling the FBI with this.
Submitted by OBEYnelson (user info) at 2004-03-08 22:00:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
THE CANS! HE HATES THE CANS!
Submitted by Zeccs (user info) at 2004-03-08 21:54:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha i beat you to this idea. I already made a movie about the same subject last year. Way to copy me.
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-03-08 21:34:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ummmmmmmmmm
yes!
Submitted by stacenbass (user info) at 2004-03-08 21:02:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I used to stare at my freshman lit teacher out of the top of my eyes. Y'know that tilt your chin down, and glare through your eye-lashes look. I'm sure she secretely plotted to kill me, or at least thought I was planning how to brutally mutalize her.
One time, I had a dog that ate my shoe. The entire shoe. The whole hundred-eighty-dollar-a-pair 20i Docs I had saved for for three months prior to this incitent. I planed how I could kill the bastard Pomeranian and explain to my mother how it was an accident...
fortunately he got hit by a car the folloing week, so I didn't have to explain how the tire tracks had been embeded into his little pom ass.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-03-08 20:19:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Serial Killers get caught because they want to. They want the attention, the noteriety, to be feared and known. The one's who don't want to get caught never are.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-03-08 20:09:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i have, i've spent hours making plans, complete with diagrams and times and shit... only ever went through with it a few times, after 50 or so they all start to feel the same, so i moved on to kidnapping and torture...
want a candy bar, little girl?
Submitted by MrCoffee (user info) at 2004-03-08 20:06:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
surely everyone has thought this at some point!
i agree, if you put some thought into it, it would be easy to get away with if i was a psycho loon.
the continental shelf is your friend... mwohahahaha