Flapping junk and funky leg tricks. (959 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.43 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lyric (View user info) at 2004-03-09 06:01:00 EST
I am like one of my brothers. We get along, he's a year older, and we rarely disagree, even when we were growing up. He'll call me from where he's going to university, and we'll chat about his dog, the weather, and everything in between. He's quiet, into his studies, responsible, and has a very serious girlfriend who he will probably marry. I love my older brother.
I am unlike my other brother. We don't really get along, he's three years younger, and we disagree and fight about everything, although not as much now that we're older and supposedly more mature. He calls from the Caribbean where he's working on a cruise ship, to let me know that he found me a shirt in Florida that he knows I would like and is sending it to me tomorrow. As much as he's a little pain in the ass, he's still a pretty thoughtful kid. He's wild, loud, brash, and a total and complete player. His first kiss was in kindergarten when his class did the play "Sleeping Beauty". No one was more shocked than the little girl playing the title character when my little brother, playing the Prince, actually planted a kiss on her. Tongue out. (They were, of course, supposed to pretend.) But I love my little brother.
We've always been pretty close-knit siblings. We could always talk to each other, or come to each other with our problems.
But sometimes there are just things you don't want to know.
As I mentioned before, my little brother is currently working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean, getting paid tons of money to dance in huge stage productions and hang out on tropical beaches on his days off. He calls me about every week to let me know all the new and exciting things he's experiencing.
"Lisa, it's pretty cool. You'd love it, there are tons of hot guys working here. I certainly love it, I met a bunch of girls from Italy and Australia! One of our productions is like that movie "The Full Monty". We start out fully dressed, and by the end, we've stripped right down to a hat covering our cocks."
"I truly didn't need to know that detail. But I have to ask... JUST a hat?"
"Well, no, we're also wearing a little flesh coloured G-string. It's not so bad, but when you're trying to dance around, there's not much support, so my junk just kinda flaps around. And the string part of it chafes something awful."
"... thanks for sharing, little brother."
And then there was the phone call I got yesterday.
"Lisa! Oh, man, this is so exciting!"
"What, what is it? You sound like you've met a celebrity or something."
"Yeah, I did, actually - but that's not what's important! See, I'm dating this girl on the ship..."
"Wait, wait, wait. What do you mean, 'dating' a girl on the ship? What about Ashley? You know, your cute, dedicated little girlfriend in Vancouver?"
*ahem* "Well. Ashley is in Vancouver. I am in the Caribbean. Besides, this is just a fling."
"You know, I truly don't think that's right... you should at least tell h-..."
"But I haven't told you the best part yet! The girl I am seeing? She's Peruvian, so she's hot. And... she's a contortionist!!!!!"
".... okay, but I don't see-..."
"A CONTORTIONIST! Do you know what she can do with her body? She's got this one thing where, when she's on top, she sorta puts her legs over-..."
That's about where I hung up, shaking my head like the exasperated older sister I am with him. Cute boys in hats and g-strings? Sure! Hot Peruvian contortionists? Cool! My little brother giddily involved in any of the above and gleefully sharing details? This, my friends, is what is known as too much info.
There's just something inherently wrong with your little brother telling you stories about his junk and what his new girlfriend can do with her legs.
User Reviews
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2004-10-24 17:23:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay for stories about little brothers.
Submitted by MarkTwang (user info) at 2004-09-17 20:57:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You really suck dick
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-09-09 18:50:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lyric rules!
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-03-09 17:36:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I broke a rib trying to!
Wait...wha?
Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-03-09 15:12:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lisa:
No.
Thanks,
Lisa
Submitted by theWELLofZION (user info) at 2004-03-09 12:47:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Lisa at 2004-03-09 11:11:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Please change your first name.
Submitted by BonesForBucks (user info) at 2004-03-09 06:11:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this. I want more cruise ship stories. Tell your brother to get an ubersite account. If he's allready got one, post it up. This has the markings of building to make so many good stories.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-03-09 06:05:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can suck my own dick!!
wait.. what?