This week's art project (781 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: crap:humour
Rating: 1.87 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Circe (View user info) at 2004-03-09 06:44:13 EST
I was outside yesterday when I noticed a small patch of what looked sort of like bright blue sand - about the size of a fifty cent piece in diameter. After looking at it for a while (through three trips outside, to tell the truth - I'm lazy, okay?) my curiosity finally got the better of me and I took a closer look. What had appeared to be bright blue sand was, in actuality, bright blue sand.
This puzzled me, until I saw, sticking up from the ground, about a pen's length away, the end of a blue felt tip pen. Being the genius that I am, it only took me about thirteen minutes to work it out.
I'd only said 'Do not, under any circumstances, take pens outside, or they'll get ruined' to my son about six times, so I can understand his confusion in the matter. I was happy. I thought 'Here's a way to show him WHY I tell him these things.'
I called my bright, attentive son outside and gestured to the sand and the pen. I explained clearly that the sand had absorbed the ink from the pen, so the pen was ruined and couldn't be used to draw anymore. I stated that as he had failed to take care of his things, the pen was not going to be replaced. I asked that he consider how better to treat his possessions in future. I then allowed him to return inside to play and made myself a coffee, secure in today's lesson. I was in the running for parent of the fucking year.
SIX HOURS LATER
My bright, attentive son brings me a piece of A4 white paper. He's taken it from my printer tray, but I don't mind. Kids steal from their parents. He's written MUM in big letters, surrounded by a border, in glue. Then he's sprinkled the glue with what looks kind of like brightly coloured sand.
The overall effect is very pretty.
I ask him gently to show me how he's achieved this, whereupon he leads me outside. There, in my best roasting dish, filled with dirt, stand forty-seven felt tip pens, a multicoloured little forest, each surrounded by its own patch of brightly coloured sand.
The picture is stuck up on the fridge, where my parent of the year award was supposed to be.
User Reviews
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-04-28 10:27:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-12-09 11:47:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cute
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-12-09 11:35:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-12-09 11:26:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Seems I missed one yesterday.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2004-09-07 16:20:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2004-07-11 16:05:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
Right, that's it, I can't take it anymore. I'm going to print out everything you've ever written and rub it over my naked body, chanting "gooooood, goooooood".
___________________________________
Hey, great idea! You and Circe come over and we can use my printer...
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2004-07-11 16:05:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Right, that's it, I can't take it anymore. I'm going to print out everything you've ever written and rub it over my naked body, chanting "gooooood, goooooood".
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-07-11 16:03:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like your son.
Submitted by Naery (user info) at 2004-07-11 15:56:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So good. No comments really nec'ry. The goodness speaks for itself.
Submitted by Trout (user info) at 2004-03-10 11:48:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-03-09 08:14:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
Then I'd care about the drinking and have to do something about it.
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Touche!
Submitted by rbdweasel (user info) at 2004-03-09 15:08:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If you took the word "fucking" out it would be suitable for the whole family. Thanks for not selling out.
Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-03-09 14:23:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pure unfiltered awesomeness.
SpikeGoddess
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-03-09 13:47:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He showed you, didn't he?
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2004-03-09 11:11:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cute story...kids can be so entertaining.
Submitted by LiteracyLover (user info) at 2004-03-09 10:23:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
That's awesome! Man, I wish I had that much creativity as a little kid...
Nice writing style, I like it.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2004-03-09 09:34:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"...so I can understand his confusion in the matter"
Hahahahahaha.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2004-03-09 09:07:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As if we needed any more proof that our kids are smarter than we are.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-03-09 08:14:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Then I'd care about the drinking and have to do something about it.
Submitted by Trout (user info) at 2004-03-09 07:52:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You left a kid alone for 6 hours.
Maybe you should lay off the smack.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-03-09 07:03:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cute