The greatest sport of all time. (447 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.66 on 3 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mac (View user info) at 2004-03-09 11:13:18 EST
Lately, I may or may not have been reading a lot of posts, that may or not actually exist, on the so called "greatest" sports of all time. After reading these posts, I crunched some numbers and made several pie charts with pretty colors ranging from periwinkle to burnt sienna (however the largest portion of the chart is wisteria, which I thought may have been too bold, but I do like it's soft, subtle hue of light purple, so I stand by my decision to use it)to illustrate the fluxuation in something or another, but it was really hard to remember since the pie chart was just so damned cool.
Then I got to thinking about pie and how great pie was. Is pie a desert or is it ok to eat it as a meal? You know, if it's a hearty pie, like pecan or apple? Those are some pretty damned filling pies so I don't see why you couldn't eat them as a meal. If I were in prison on death row, I would want my last meal to be pie. Of course I would have to have Mountian Dew, though. Mmmmm...pie and Dew...
And then it hit me like a flash of light- BAM!- Pie Eating is the greatest sport of all time!
"But Mac, it's not a sport" you'll say. Oh, but it is, my friends, it is indeed. After all, there's no greater testement to the will of man kind than a gluttonous display of over endulgence that not only pushes the limits of your physical being, but tests your keen deductive reasoning in a dangerous mind game that involves both psyching out the opponent and conditioning your own mind frame to be as sharp as a tack. Every single move you make could be your last in this game.
In pie eating, there can be no mistakes. It's kill or be killed. It's no hold's barred insanity at it's very best. It's an outrageous display of pure testosterone. It's everything a sport could ever hope to be. Soon the day will come when PIE RULES ALL!!!! Muah ha ha ha ha ha!!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-03-14 23:30:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like potatoes
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2004-03-09 11:25:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha! This reminded me of Dennis Kucinich and his attempt to use a pie chart during his NPR radio debate. Hello, genius, it's RADIO! They can't see it!
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-03-09 11:16:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The participants take eating very seriously. There is actually an international eating association with world rankings based on overall ability and individual food types. And the fat guys aren't that much more successful than the skinny people.
Actually, the world #1 is a skinny Japanese guy, and a thin American woman recently took over the #2 spot from a big-ass chubster.