The Greatest Sport of all time (785 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.83 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mac (View user info) at 2004-03-09 11:19:39 EST
Lately, I may or may not have been reading a lot of posts, that may or not actually exist, on the so called "greatest" sports of all time. After reading these posts, I crunched some numbers and made several pie charts with pretty colors ranging from periwinkle to burnt sienna (however the largest portion of the chart is wisteria, which I thought may have been too bold, but I do like it's soft, subtle hue of light purple, so I stand by my decision to use it)to illustrate the fluxuation in something or another, but it was really hard to remember since the pie chart was just so damned cool.
Then I got to thinking about pie and how great pie was. Is pie a desert or is it ok to eat it as a meal? You know, if it's a hearty pie, like pecan or apple? Those are some pretty damned filling pies so I don't see why you couldn't eat them as a meal. If I were in prison on death row, I would want my last meal to be pie. Of course I would have to have Mountian Dew, though. Mmmmm...pie and Dew...
And then it hit me like a flash of light- BAM!- Pie Eating is the greatest sport of all time!
"But Mac, it's not a sport" you'll say. Oh, but it is, my friends, it is indeed. After all, there's no greater testement to the will of man kind than a gluttonous display of over endulgence that not only pushes the limits of your physical being, but tests your keen deductive reasoning in a dangerous mind game that involves both psyching out the opponent and conditioning your own mind frame to be as sharp as a tack. Every single move you make could be your last in this game.
In pie eating, there can be no mistakes. It's kill or be killed. It's no hold's barred insanity at it's very best. It's an outrageous display of pure testosterone. It's everything a sport could ever hope to be. Soon the day will come when PIE RULES ALL!!!! Muah ha ha ha ha ha!!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by LaNa (user info) at 2004-03-23 18:42:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
lord of the post....
you scare me.
~LaNa
Submitted by lordofthepost (user info) at 2004-03-14 23:35:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
On average, I did some calculations, and if 134 wings, weighing in at about 1/10 of a pound a piece, is her max, then coincidently she could swallow over 27 gallons of cum, making her the all time bukakke champion as well. The asians hold all the biggest titles over there... you just can't compete anymore
Submitted by Mac (user info) at 2004-03-09 16:11:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
NotApologizing,
Holy freakin crap! That chick ate 134 chicken wings in 12 minutes! I must marry her now!
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-03-09 15:56:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pie is the best.
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-03-09 15:52:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ifoce.com/profile.php?action=detail&sn=20
Holy shit! This lady is ranked #2 in the world (rankings not updated on the website) and she is fucking hot and skinny! She's single too...
Hmmm...
Nevermind. I can't manage a kitchen with that many things cooking.
Submitted by NotApologizing (user info) at 2004-03-09 15:48:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.ifoce.com
pmj-here you go. I mentioned this in the first attempt. to paraphrase what I said there 'these people are serious about eating.'
go figure...
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-03-09 15:13:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The trick is not to mention the picture until you reply in case you screw it up.
Submitted by Mac (user info) at 2004-03-09 15:02:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dlove,
You got me. I was trying to pad my hit count by looking like a fucking moron that can't post pics.
Submitted by Dlove (user info) at 2004-03-09 14:42:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mac,
Do we need a "how to post pictures" one-on-one session with you?
Or are you just trying to boost your rating by posting twice and playing the helpless damsel in distress on posting pics?
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-03-09 14:00:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If curling is a sport, i guess pie eating is as well.
NASCAR is not a sport thought.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-03-09 13:21:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That shit is nasty.
Didn't Bobby enter a pie eating contest on The Brady Bunch?
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-03-09 12:22:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Competitive eating just may be the future of sport as we know it. Instead of the NBA and MLB we'll have the PEL (Pie Eating League) and HGL (Hotdog Gulping League). The NHL and NFL will remain because they rock.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-03-09 11:41:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This is good. I liked it. Those crazy japanese have made national heroes out of their eating contest winners.
Submitted by Trout (user info) at 2004-03-09 11:25:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If you're worried about the whole pie as a meal thing why not have a steak pie, or a chicken pie?
Then for dessert have cherry pie.
Sorted.
For starters you could have fish pie if you're into such activities.
Submitted by Mac (user info) at 2004-03-09 11:20:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Forgot the pic on the last one.