Hot Tracking Spring Trends: Crack Smoking all the Rage (1275 hits)
Category: NewsRating: -0.41 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JWLMAR10 (View user info) at 2004-03-10 03:22:48 EST
Washington (CNN) -- Crack cocaine, first made popular in the 1980's has rode the retro tidal wave back into main stream culture. From eighty year olds to eight year olds, everyone loves it, and what's not to love?
Crack cocaine first appeared in the 1980's as a cheaper and more powerful, smokeable form of cocaine. It immediately became very popular among hip, urban people. These people used crack for years and loved it, but for some reason it never became strongly anchored in suburban culture. "I tried buyin' rock from some farm-types, but they never even seen any shit, so I jacked their hats and hid in a dumpster for the rest of the night," said Tyrone Biggums, a local crack-head.
Crack has now made it's way into the popular culture of the rest of America and people like Cheryl Walters, a mother of four and a school-teacher, couldn't be happier. "I just love the way it makes me feel. It always makes me want to come back for more... And the kids love it too!" said Cheryl. Cheryl then proceeded to hit her crack pipe and then lick my face. "It also helps in school when kids are too sleepy to be awake in class. I absolutely love this stuff," she continued.
Her children agreed that crack is "totally awesome" and her seven year old son Justin proceeded to pick up the family sofa. "Look at how strong it makes me! I just broke my wrist, but it doesn't even hurt!" Justin yelled to me at blazing speed.
Most people attribute the popularity of crack to the influence of urban culture on suburban people as well as it's relatively low price. Tyrone on the other hand, believes that the popularity of crack stems from the idea that, "I'ts great! It's crack! You take that hit and you're all ZAMAZAMAZOOOM SHAZAAM! It's great!" Tyrone then went on to do a violently spastic dance and then he took off running. He was most likely running to get some more crack, so that he can remain one of the trendsetters in this new cultural phenomenon.
CNN's jwlmar10 contributed to this report.
User Reviews
Submitted by mjlove3 at 2004-03-29 01:12:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Anything that has to do with the chappelle show....let alone tyrone biggums, is an awesome article. Only two words can describe it... It's great!!! "Game, blouses."
"Drugs is all around you kids. Look at that magic marker cap. What the hell you think that is, some kind of crayon? Take it off, and sniff it, and get high."
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-03-15 19:36:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2004-03-10 10:38:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
reasonable
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-03-10 08:04:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I love Chappelle.
"What'd the five fingers... say to the FACE?"
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-03-10 06:59:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks jimbo. I know it's not my best post, but it's certainly not my worst.
Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2004-03-10 06:56:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was funny.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-03-10 06:45:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a great post lined up. Do you guys think I should knock this off the front page or just wait until more people get to see it?
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-03-10 06:37:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I watched 3 people smoke crack the other night. I suppose I should have left, it *was* an uncomfortable situation, but it ended up being ok...
Submitted by esso_merda (user info) at 2004-03-10 05:02:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
(+1) because it is your birthday and for mentioning Tyrone Biggums.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-03-10 04:52:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess nobody liked my attempt at fake news. Whatever.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-03-10 03:56:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
don't take it personal, but... -1
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-03-10 03:44:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HA!
It looks like I have some fans! Thanks guys for all of your support!
No, I love you more!
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-03-10 03:43:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HA, I just read that guys post. It is pretty good. If I would have seen that earlier I probably wouldn't have made this post. Oh well, I don't regret this. In my opinion it's pretty funny and I thought other's might get a good chuckle out of it.
Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-03-10 03:42:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ummm gimme all your money
I think thats what i wanted to say.
Submitted by seanfogy (user info) at 2004-03-10 03:40:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-03-10 03:38:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh, and happy birthday you cocky son of a bitch.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-03-10 03:34:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Not very good compared to Enraged_Baboon's "Drugs are Awesome."
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-03-10 03:34:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If that is your honest opinion Tom, then I respect that. However, I can't help but wonder if maybe you're upset that I voiced my dislike of your last post and you're carrying that anger across posts in a very immature fashion.
But I have more faith in you being a mature person and will assume that you read my post and honestly did not like it.
Submitted by Murphy1844 (user info) at 2004-03-10 03:34:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It's his birthday let him post whatever he wants! Mildy funny... you've done better.
Happy Birthday.
Murphy
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-03-10 03:28:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
God people should be SO much more fair with what is posted here on ubersite, don't you agree? I expect something less shitty out of someone who is in the triple digits, and this ain't cutting it buddy. Sorry to bust your anus.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-03-10 03:26:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's my birthday today and I think that will justify giving myself a +2.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-03-10 03:23:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What the hell? I did not write "Hot" in the title.