The date from Hell (570 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -0.69 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bianca K (View user info) at 2004-03-10 08:54:51 EST
So like I have been single since the beginning of time, fine, but I'm happy with that and pretty oblivious to any overtures,damn near blind when the man making moves is um well "not my type"...
Theres this guy we went to primary school together,and then to High School,even when Mothers intervened and we were forced to travel together I never paid him attention, you know the type,white hair,white skin,brown eyes,brown freckles, reminisecent of an underfed albino rat.
A few years after school I bump into him again and he looks almost normal (being fully clothed and not in dorky school uniform) and we start chatting, lo and behold he has grown a personality, wow...
We go out in a group and spend the evening having Deep Meaningful Conversations (DMC to smokers), fully, no worries.
He asks for my postal address as he is going back to Univesity in Cape Town, schweet, I get the letter months later - poetry, metaphors and the general blah blah blah of infatuation, I ignore it and all the sms's he sends.
Get the hint, boy!!
End of term holiday and he's back in town, wants to see me, I thankfully have plans I going to Pretoria for a Spring Picnic at the dam, funnily enough he's going too, do I want to bum a lift, fine whatever, easier that way and when I get there I can ditch him...
The first warning should have been when we were all setting up our picnic spots, he had decided to hang out with me and my friends, we all had big blankets and gazebos for shade, coolerboxes with beer or strange cocktail concoctions in ominious vessels, he had a little blanky, a bottle of red wine, and two (crystal) wineglasses...
blah blah blah boring day, my buds boyf distracted him with soccer and I was left in peace.
The fun began when the party was over and it was time to make the journey back to Benoni, ( normally only 40 minutes), for some reason he decides that we should have a drink first, great, whatever, I never say no to booze and the night is still a virgin...
We get to the cafe/bar/restaurant and he goes to the gents to change into warmer clothes, comes back to the table and begins wiping his dank feet with his hands and putting on his socks and shoes, now whatever you may think of South Africa, we are not backward, this is still a majorly uncultured thing to do at a table...
I drink my vodka quickly,wanting to be on the road home asap, the bill comes, I put in my money first, with enough for a generous tip...he puts in a pittance and when the change comes, swipes the tip.
Next he decides he's hungry and orders takeaways and sits on the street to eat it..
Wants another drink, I pay the bill, again he takes the tip.
I have had enough, I insist on going home, I tip the security guard R3 ( for watching his car), he complains that he usually tips more, he has at least R15 of my money in his pocket...
He's been smoking all my cigarettes all day, he replaces them with the cheapest nastiest cigarettes imaginable, they cost half the price of anything decent and they taste like sh*t.
We drive home, he wants to come in and use the bathroom, I am too polite to refuse, after he pees he settles down on the couch for a chat.
I hint at first, then ask him to leave, eventually after I have asked twice and completely ignored him for half an hour I stand up, open the door unlock the security gate and insist that he leaves...
At this point he tries to kiss me...
I push him outside,lock the gate, and slam the door in his face...
The next day I get a message:
"Suprised myself at least by staying platonic"
What a loser!!!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by Binka (user info) at 2004-03-18 08:46:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Er I described his looks as those of an albino rat, is this considered attractive where you come from? Shame, hey, must be terrrible to live somewhere where rodents are seen as good looking...
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2004-03-10 14:19:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by JackHand (user info) at 2004-03-10 14:10:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow, a platonic date.
You should have at least sucked his dick
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2004-03-10 13:56:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So like.....this one time.....at band camp.....
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2004-03-10 13:49:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
So like Airhead meets geek boy...the end!
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2004-03-10 12:52:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you write like Britney Spears
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-03-10 12:30:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"lo and behold he has grown a personality, wow..."
You bitch. I stopped there because you "never paid him any attention" and then learned later on that he had "grown a personality" only after you liked him for his looks. You are a bitch and you deserve far worse than death. But at least you don't write like the annoying girl you are. Except for the "So like."
Submitted by Fleadh (user info) at 2004-03-10 12:30:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
-2
Sounds to me like a mix of you leading him on and him to dumb to read your overly subtle no's.
You are as bad as he is.
C
Submitted by volklcess (user info) at 2004-03-10 11:56:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Somewhere in that jarble I can sense there's a good writer waiting to break free...
-1 for starting the post out with "So like."
-phoenix
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-03-10 11:06:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Kind of hard to read, but if you would have fleshed it out a little more it would have potential.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2004-03-10 09:38:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
reminisecent of an underfed albino rat
Didnt read it all, +1 for that.
Submitted by Binka (user info) at 2004-03-10 09:37:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thats just mean, is it a cultual thing? what don't you understand? www.dictionary.com
Submitted by Trout (user info) at 2004-03-10 09:11:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
There were a few bits where I had no fucking idea what you were talking about.
You both sound like assholes.
Submitted by Goldeneyes (user info) at 2004-03-10 09:04:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this was like almost unreadable and blah blah blah boring post get a life and find something else to do
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2004-03-10 09:01:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
"What a loser". Are you referring to yourself or the gent? From this post you both qualify.