Jenkins rant (543 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 2 on 1 review (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Curtis <Ehrraide.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-03-10 14:31:19 EST
Question: WHY WERE ALL SEGA GAMES ON SATURN AND DREAMCAST, SUCH AS CASTLEVANIA, SOUL REAVER, AND MARVEL VS. CAPCOM WAY BETTER THAN THE PLAYSTATION VERSIONS?
Answer-it's because of Jenkins.
After much discussion between the viking god of rock and The infamous Master Flea, They've come to the conclusion that these games and so many others were better because of one man, Jenkins Miyamoto aka Jenkins Christ. After their discussion, the following rant became an intrigal part of their everyday lives.
scene: picture if you will, the one hundreth floor of the Sega HQ in the executive board room to the left.
Enter Jenkins(awesome man of awesomeness)
The Man:"alright people, we're looking for an angle to boost sells of Castlevania on the Saturn instead of the Playstation. Ideas gentlemen."
(Lone hand rises in the back)
The Man:"Yes Jenkins"
Jenkins:"Ok, here's how it's gonna be, first thing is new levels, two of them. Two, a new musical score. Three, two new familiars.
The Man:"That's Briliant Jenk...
(gets interrupted)
Jenkins:"I am not done. Wrap your brains around this one gentlemen, new weapons and item, AND relics. Richters new outfit, not the old pansy one. Marias playable, and owns much ass.
The Man: My god jenkins...i want to have your baby!!
Jenkins: thats flattering sir, but im still not done...
The Man: not done Jenkins?! What else could there be??
Jenkins: a 6th Ending, thats right sir, Maria, is a demon...and will be a final boss.
The Man: Jenkins...your a god!!
Jenkins: no sir...but we play golf together on the weekends.
And hence, a new genre, a god genre of video games was created, known as Castlevania: Nocturne in the Mooonlight
User Reviews
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-03-10 14:46:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't get it, but it's funny.