I Can't Get Out of Bed (424 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 2 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rabid Weasel <rbdweasel.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2004-03-11 12:28:43 EST
I have heard of people going psychologically comatose. They must be stronger than me. I just lie here fully conscious. Damn. I even do depression half-assed. My brain has had enough sleep and feels swollen and engorged with it. I wish I could shut my eyes and sleep longer but I am beginning to concede that it is no longer possible. I give in to temptation and raise my head to check the time. 2:13pm. Shit. I suppose 16 hours is my limit. Even the last 4 hours have been only half-conscious, falling in and out of dream-filled sleep as the sun heated my room to a now uncomfortable level. I think this phase is ending though it is my favorite. The dark blanket of slumber is the most comforting thing I know.
I stare at the textured ceiling, trying to find patterns. Faces are usually the easiest. Yep, the brain is starting to want to function again. Dammit. I suppose it is about time for the next phase of a good, healthy depression: Eating. Fast food is the best depression food but only if you happen to be in your car at the time. There is nothing more self-destructive than seeing how many items you can eat from the dollar menu. Leaving the apartment is not an option so I try to remember what food might still be the kitchen. Depression food is only judged on one criterion: can it be eaten without any preparation? I will go so far as to put something in a bowl and pour milk over it but that is the limit. I am fantasizing about eating ravioli from the can but I know I have none. The easy-to-eat foods disappear first so I doubt I even have a bag of chips. The thought of having to turn on the stove to boil ramen worries me.
Phase three is not a true phase as it can be concurrent with phase two. This is watching TV. I don't normally watch TV but as I am no longer able to sleep it is the next best thing to total brain inactivity. I will usually sit in the living room in my underwear and a T-shirt with the blinds drawn and flick for something good. I have discovered my favorite shows in my current mood are the unsolved murder mystery type. It is amazing how many different shows of this type are on TV, especially if you consider "Law and Order" close enough. I hope it is not so hot that I have to open a window. I feel consciousness slowing slipping away again. Beautiful. Maybe 16 is not my limit. I am so happy.
User Reviews
Submitted by Heimdallsman (user info) at 2004-03-16 13:15:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is good. Is it true?
A nice calm, comfortable, fuzzy rant. Well done.
--HeimdallsMan
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2004-03-11 16:13:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well written.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-03-11 15:09:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You gave me great compliments on my last post so I had to find out who you are.
I like you, stay around.
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-03-11 12:41:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nicely written. You probably need some help, but I'm not sure.