For Sale. 19 year old male. (1426 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.45 on 35 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Poisonyourkids (View user info) at 2004-03-12 00:10:22 EST
Im poor. Im a dirt poor musician... i cant even afford to keep the strings on my guitar. I hate work too. actually... i dont hate work... i hate looking for a job.
i thought about these things and decided that i would just sell myself. well... not actually sell. But rent. or lease to own if youre interested...
a little about myself.
Sex: Male
Age: 19
Height: 6'2"
weight: around 145-150
IQ: 154
Im typically pretty shy and quiet. im a good worker if you just leave me to do it my own way. it will get done.
Skills include:
Automotive experience from working at a junk yard.
A functional knowledge of CADD, 3D MAX, Mechanical desktop, Architectural Desktop, 3D viz. I have designed 2 houses with cadd with were actually built.
A functional knowledge of robots and robot building.
Writing and photography.
i can play guitar, piano, and i used to play the accordion.
im also a long distance runner. (6 miles is typical of a run for me)
I accept VISA and Mastercard. Ill also take cash. Any offer will be considered. Shipping and handling included.
All i require is food, water, stylish clothing, and some kind of roof over my head (doghouse will suffice)
All interested parties should E Mail Poisonyourkids.at.hotmail.com
User Reviews
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2004-03-24 21:01:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit! Urbane, I looked up your pic, you're fuckin cute. wow. +2 for hotness, because It takes one to know one.
-BongZilla
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-03-24 20:41:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
we need a PICTURE!
Submitted by Dazd1 (user info) at 2004-03-12 17:30:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If 6'2" and 150 lbs is any indication of someone thats in good shape Damnit Im short fat and OLD NOW Thanks alot assmonkey!
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2004-03-12 16:46:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
age:21
height: 5 foot 4
weight: 120lbs
boobs: 34 C
can deepthroat
has highly elastic vaginal walls
nymphomaniac
can cook
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i'm pretty close except that i'm a D cup and I'm 107..oh and 22
and i haven't tested the elasticity of my pussy
Submitted by poisonyourkids (user info) at 2004-03-12 12:30:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
JESUS COME ON NOW... IM TRYING TO MAKE SOME MONEY HERE... NOT RUN A DAMN DATING SERVICE
wait a minute... people wanting dates + money + me = time for lunch...
shit, thought i might have been on to something.
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2004-03-12 12:27:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-03-12 12:17:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ref - You want yourself? I think thats called masturbation buddy. Heres what i want.
age:21
height: 5 foot 4
weight: 120lbs
boobs: 34 C
can deepthroat
has highly elastic vaginal walls
nymphomaniac
can cook
----------------------------------------------------------
Damn, I almost made the cut
age: 27, too old (but I look like 22, I swear)
height: 5 foot 2
weight: 123
boobs: 34C
Yes, but w/boyfriends only of course
hmm, don't know, i'll have to inquire
at times
Of course
Submitted by poisonyourkids (user info) at 2004-03-12 12:21:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
this dirt poor musician... obviously...
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2004-03-12 12:17:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What kind of dirt poor musician has internet access?
THE BUMS WILL ALWAYS LOSE!!!
Submitted by reallybored (user info) at 2004-03-12 12:17:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ref - You want yourself? I think thats called masturbation buddy. Heres what i want.
age:21
height: 5 foot 4
weight: 120lbs
boobs: 34 C
can deepthroat
has highly elastic vaginal walls
nymphomaniac
can cook
Submitted by poisonyourkids (user info) at 2004-03-12 12:07:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wow... the hair had me on the edge of my seat... the diaphragm just sealed the deal.
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2004-03-12 12:04:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yes, but this is genuine Urbane Mischief hair.
i'll throw in my old diaphragm
Submitted by poisonyourkids (user info) at 2004-03-12 12:04:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
typically i wouldnt stoop to pointing out something like that... cause personally i dont give a shit... but how could i resist.
Submitted by poisonyourkids (user info) at 2004-03-12 12:00:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
also... i would like to note that you try to blast me on grammar and punctuation...
"i can assume you're skills consist of "poorly lying". "
i think you were looking for the word your...as to denote ownership or possesion. not you're, as in you are.
thanks.
Submitted by poisonyourkids (user info) at 2004-03-12 11:55:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i wasnt exactly writing a real resume will. i dont feel the need to use proper grammar, punctuation, or even spelling on ubersite. you dont mean enough to me...
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-03-12 11:54:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you claimed "Writing" as one of your skills...based on this articles grammer and lack of punctuation...i can assume you're skills consist of "poorly lying".
Submitted by poisonyourkids (user info) at 2004-03-12 11:54:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i would be depressed that no ladies responded to this... but i got a very nice e mail from hidden inquiring as to my skills.... though i cant figure out why he would care if im double jointed or not...
haha...sorry.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-03-12 11:52:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Guitar is sexy.
But come on, drummers have a great sense of rhythm and can
bang on things really fast.
Submitted by poisonyourkids (user info) at 2004-03-12 11:51:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
a lock of hair you say?
i dont play drums. BUT I PLAY GUITAR... cmon... guitar is sexy...
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2004-03-12 11:48:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll give you a gum wrapper and a lock of my hair
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-03-12 11:20:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Have no chicks responded to this? How depressing.
I am sure you are awesome, but I personally can't help you
out unless you play the drums.
Vivian+Drummer= too obscene for me to detail here.
Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2004-03-12 08:09:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll give you two cents (USD) for your soul.
What?
You'd be surprised how often that works. Not that I do it a lot or anything...really...
Submitted by poisonyourkids (user info) at 2004-03-12 07:41:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
where are you going to be posted, and what branch are you?
Submitted by TheRef (user info) at 2004-03-12 07:38:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i was born in florida. i have traveled all ove the us. i have been to the persian gulf, i currently live in korea. in 3 months time i will be living in germany.
Submitted by poisonyourkids (user info) at 2004-03-12 07:36:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
as for worldwide traveling experience i was born in germany and have been all over europe and north america... i havent been around the world in 80 days but i can say with confidence that i have seen a lot more than most of the people i know.
Submitted by poisonyourkids (user info) at 2004-03-12 07:35:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
im not a bad shot (depending on what im shooting)
6 miles is a warm up.
you can bench 2 of me... wow...
Submitted by TheRef (user info) at 2004-03-12 07:30:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i want to find someone with these attributes
age:22
height: 72'' or 6'
weight: 210lbs
bench: 300lbs
can run 6 miles without breaking a sweat
can fire a gun...and hit what he's aiming at
has worldwide traveling experience
not afraid to speak his mind but still knows how to follow orders...
oh wait...thats me.
nevermind
Submitted by poisonyourkids (user info) at 2004-03-12 07:25:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha... 25 bucks.... jesus. i thought it would pull in a bit more than that...
and suckin cock isnt in the job description... no matter how much youre payin...
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2004-03-12 06:03:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
look, I think we all know taht people want to know if you suck cock.
If you do, let the bidding begin:
ABABABABABABABABBABABAAAABBBA $10 ABAAABBABABAB $15 ABABABABABABAABBABABAABBBABABBABABABAABBAB $25
$25 $25 iM SELLING AT $25....SOLD TO WILLZONE!
Submitted by LexLutherin (user info) at 2004-03-12 04:36:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha you down there!
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Submitted by poisonyourkids (user info) at 2004-03-12 02:03:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would make a "cleaner" if youre looking to hire somone to do some "cleaning".
i can silence a "vacume cleaner" and "clean" whataver or whoever you want. It will never get back to you.
if you have any "trash" that needs to be "taken out" just let me know...
if you want my "clean up" job to look like an accident i can do that too. I can also make it really messy... if thats what you want.
i can make that "dirt" suffer too.... it puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again... if you get my drift.
just think about it.
plus two for me because even if i cant plow your feild... i can easily pick your crops.
Submitted by Tastycat (user info) at 2004-03-12 01:24:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I was thinking about hiring you as a babysitter until I saw the email.
[note: I have no kids, I'm just being sassy]
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2004-03-12 01:24:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i think PAS. sucks
but... i am prettty drunk and still don't like you
thank god for beeer............
Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-03-12 01:22:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're 6'2" and 150 pounds? You're a twig! You're in no shape to pull a plow across my fields!!
Good day, sir!
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-03-12 01:12:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
only 6 miles?
Submitted by poisonyourkids (user info) at 2004-03-12 00:14:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Willing to travel...