The_taste_of_Monkeys hates: WillZone (708 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Tribute
Rating: 1.55 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The_taste_of_monkeys (View user info) at 2004-03-12 05:49:24 EST
So WillZone thinks it's funny that I hate ReallyBored does he? This is intolerable and will be met with full and unnecessary force.
The_taste_of_Monkeys hates WillZone.
Born in 1912 to a father who was a two-bit crack whore and a mother who was a carny, WZ didn't have the best start in life and he has made the conscious decision to continue where he started.
His father died by asphyxiation during a Double-Oral, Double-Nasal five way gang-bang with him as the bitch.
Hid mother ran away before he was born, forcibly jettisoning her womb out of her immense vagina.
Left cold and alone on the mean streets of Tijuana WZ was found by a group of priests who attempted an exorcism of this devil-spawned child but failed miserably. Every single one of them left the clergy on the grounds that God could not exist if creatures like WZ walked the Earth.
Growing to immense proportions, WZ went on to have a career in absolutely nothing.
His body fat has so many folds in it a small tribe of pygmies now lives in the crevices, making a living by harvesting the mushrooms that grow in WZ's armpit hair.
His penis is the size and shape of a kernel of sweetcorn and "taste kinda like feet" according to his sister.
He sweats his own body weight in "fluid" every half hour. The "fluid is of an unknown type but looks and smells a bit like Pepsi.
Wanted in no less than thirteen countries for: Donkey punching, touching cloth (not his own cloth), felching, cottaging and being insufferably ugly, WZ is a shambling mockery of a human being.
I passed his photograph and details around some well-known publications and these are the responses I got:
Q: Sweet baby JESUS!
New York Times: He looks kinda like a an elephant seal in a wig that's had it's shit ruined
The Glasgow Herald: There are crack addicts walking the streets of Edinburgh whom I'd rather sleep with.
Playboy: We love WZ. He has been supporting the porn industry single-handed. Normally it's his right hand.
In conclusion WZ is a twisted mutant that the zombies from a George Romero film would be hard pushed to love and he smells sort of like beetroot.
I hate him.
Not Really. WZ is a fine human being with many fine qualities, most of which I'm sure I'll remember quite soon.
If he were an Anime character he'd be Bullieros from Appleseed. He's being surprised with a "special gift" from ReallyBored here. Yay me.
User Reviews
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-03-06 14:28:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-03-06 14:07:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DesolateMisanthrope (user info) at 2007-03-04 22:40:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
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I really dont understand what I did to deserve this
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It was all the touching.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-03-06 14:07:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DesolateMisanthrope (user info) at 2007-03-04 22:40:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
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I really dont understand what I did to deserve this
Submitted by DesolateMisanthrope (user info) at 2007-03-04 22:44:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-07-22 16:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this better than the REallybored one.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2004-03-15 07:09:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
New York Times: He looks kinda like a an elephant seal in a wig that's had it's shit ruined
I know I wrote that but it still makes me laugh out loud.
Haw haw haw
Submitted by TaK (user info) at 2004-03-12 10:37:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that's a hate/love post.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2004-03-12 09:41:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-03-12 09:06:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"her immense vagina"
I've always imagined WillZone's mother with a giant vagina. I'm glad that the rumors have finally come to rest.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2004-03-12 08:22:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nanometres don't count.
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-03-12 08:10:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you...
and its bigger than sweetcorn.
Submitted by digsy (user info) at 2004-03-12 08:09:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
don't you hate pants?!
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2004-03-12 07:12:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yes, yes I am.
Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-03-12 07:10:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
woo!
Thankyou for not taking the same strategy you did on reallybored because then someday I can soon release my baby.
You are cool.